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Posted: **Wed Apr 15, 2009 10:13 am**

HELWAA wrote:
Ducaysane209 wrote:1.if your a succesful woman would you look down on faraxs who have un sucessful Jobs like Taxi Driver , Etc others?
2.Would you Marry a man you love but has Khat Addicted problems?
3.Would you Marry a man which you know cant not provide for the family much?
4.Would you a marry a Farax who has a Criminal Record?
5.Does your fantasies include man with big bussiness , cars , houses , like what other woman dreams of 24hrs?

1- yes
2- How do u know about his addiction till u liv with him and by that time is to late so all u can do is change him.
3- Al risiq mina allah..put ur trust in allah swt.There are no granties in this dunya, if he is rich today he can be poor tomrrow.If he is good person why not!
4- No!
5- No!

a small amount of khat can be cut down addiction but when the person has high addictions its hard to change it

Posted: **Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:07 pm**

Ducay

You can change him by giving him a simpel choice...you or his jaad??..which one does he love the most?

Posted: **Wed Apr 15, 2009 3:02 pm**

sis Helwaa,

You can't change a man, especially one who has an addiction. It's best to leave him with his jaad, usaga inu isgarto waaye, and he should change for the sake of Allah (swt) and his own well-being. If/When he accomplishes this, haduu wali ku rabo usaga ku so doonanaayo.

Posted: **Thu Apr 16, 2009 10:43 am**

Firefly

Walaal i believe pple can change it doesnt matter what addiction they have and if u lived with the person so many years it's hard to leave them esp if you share children with him.

With allahs help everything is possible.

Posted: **Fri Apr 17, 2009 11:36 am**

Helwaa,

Sis, I didn't say people can't change, I believe they can. All I'm saying is you can't change someone, unless they want to change. Change has to come from within, ma'garatay? Why marry someone who has an addiction sis? I don't see the point of that, Ilahay mana tuusiiyo taas, insha-Allah..

Yes you're right sis, with Allah's help anything is possible.

Posted: **Fri Apr 17, 2009 11:42 am**

Ducaysane209 wrote:1.if your a succesful woman would you look down on faraxs who have un sucessful Jobs like Taxi Driver , Etc others?
2.Would you Marry a man you love but has Khat Addicted problems?
3.Would you Marry a man which you know cant not provide for the family much?
4.Would you a marry a Farax who has a Criminal Record?
5.Does your fantasies include man with big bussiness , cars , houses , like what other woman dreams of 24hrs?

Is this guy for real?

Helwaa,

Khaat is classified as a narcotic here in this country. The FDA (food and drug adminstration) did a thorough research before it was banned. It was found to have similar characteristics as cocaine and LSD, so do you think its easy for someone to quit addiction to those substances? Just because our society turns a blind eye to this drug doesn't mean its not a drug. Is there any woman who is willing to marry a crack addict because khaat/jaad is no different.

Posted: **Fri Apr 17, 2009 1:00 pm**

Firefly

I agree the decision has to come from him first if he dont want loose his family.But i strongly believe if every woman give her husband ultimatum and stick with her decision and realy mean it many marriages would be saved.Divorce should be the last option esp when you have children.But but wax kasta waa qadar wixi ilaahy kuu qoray uun baa dhacaya.

And aamin to ur duca.

Kolombo

When women get married in the islamic way they dont know that much of the husband.As you know dating is xaraam and muslims get to know eachother after marriage.There are many men who hide their addiction very well, most of them are hard working and very respected of the society.So the only person who knows about their problem is the wife and dont blame the women here cus most of them dont see it as a problem till they find out the side affects of their husband addiction.

And yes they can quit their addiction is all about ur will power and most important al hadaya mina Allah

Posted: **Fri Apr 17, 2009 2:10 pm**

Helwaa,

That's the thing sis, ultimatums don't work in most cases, and they always tend to backfire on you. Most of the women who marry men who chew jaad were not tricked into it, they were aware of his habit. So these women in my opinion are in no position to dish out ultimatums, because it will just backfire on them. Who is to say he won't turn around and say: "Beri hore saan aan kugu guursada, marka qaylada badan iga jooji?" Qof balwad ma qarsani karo especially hadu jaadka ruugo, lol, kuwa jaadka cuno calamad lugu garto ee leeyihiin. As a Somali community we go by word of mouth and word gets around. So you'll know about his habits sooner, than later.

Sis, would you consider marrying a man who chews jaad, like if you knew about his habit beforehand?

Posted: **Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:54 pm**

1.if your a succesful woman would you look down on faraxs who have un sucessful Jobs like Taxi Driver , Etc others?

NO

2.Would you Marry a man you love but has Khat Addicted problems?

NO.

3.Would you Marry a man which you know cant not provide for the family much?

NO.

4.Would you a marry a Farax who has a Criminal Record?

NO.

5.Does your fantasies include man with big bussiness , cars , houses , like what other woman dreams of 24hrs?

NO.

Posted: **Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:49 pm**

Kolombo wrote:
Ducaysane209 wrote:1.if your a succesful woman would you look down on faraxs who have un sucessful Jobs like Taxi Driver , Etc others?
2.Would you Marry a man you love but has Khat Addicted problems?
3.Would you Marry a man which you know cant not provide for the family much?
4.Would you a marry a Farax who has a Criminal Record?
5.Does your fantasies include man with big bussiness , cars , houses , like what other woman dreams of 24hrs?

Is this guy for real?

of course he is for real you can see plently of them

Posted: **Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:50 pm**

DANGIRL wrote:1.if your a succesful woman would you look down on faraxs who have un sucessful Jobs like Taxi Driver , Etc others?

NO

2.Would you Marry a man you love but has Khat Addicted problems?

NO.

3.Would you Marry a man which you know cant not provide for the family much?

NO.

4.Would you a marry a Farax who has a Criminal Record?

NO.

5.Does your fantasies include man with big bussiness , cars , houses , like what other woman dreams of 24hrs?

so far the only lady who said NO all

NO.

Posted: **Fri Apr 17, 2009 7:07 pm**

Ducaysane209 wrote:1.if your a succesful woman would you look down on faraxs who have un sucessful Jobs like Taxi Driver , Etc others?
2.Would you Marry a man you love but has Khat Addicted problems?
3.Would you Marry a man which you know cant not provide for the family much?
4.Would you a marry a Farax who has a Criminal Record?
5.Does your fantasies include man with big bussiness , cars , houses , like what other woman dreams of 24hrs?

1) No
2) No - BTW, I dont believe I'll love him until I've lived with him
3) No - what am I marrying him for? To sit around. He'll not respect himself if his not the 'man' of the house I believe so, and most probably I'll not respect him too.
4)

Erm, it depends on the crime, and his age.

5) Not really. But sometimes you do want a succesful person. I'm more worried about his religion to be honest. We can make big business/house/cars w/e together, but I don't think I have the strength to make anyone a practising muslim.

_____________________________________________________________________________

On another note, sometimes females can change a man FOR the better. My mum was saying that this lady changed a non-religious, low-life man, into a hardworking, practising the deen type of man. So sometimes it happens. But mostly he will be a problem, and you'll not be able to change him, because you can't change those that don't want to change. Some men do want to change, but need a strong person to give them the push into changing, now a wife can be that push. Others think there is nothing wrong with their habit, and ofcourse that person is very hard to change, they might not even change. The worst is when he changes you, and that can happen too.

Posted: **Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:09 pm**

_____________________________________________________________________________

On another note, sometimes females can change a man FOR the better. My mum was saying that this lady changed a non-religious, low-life man, into a hardworking, practising the deen type of man. So sometimes it happens. But mostly he will be a problem, and you'll not be able to change him, because you can't change those that don't want to change. Some men do want to change, but need a strong person to give them the push into changing, now a wife can be that push. Others think there is nothing wrong with their habit, and ofcourse that person is very hard to change, they might not even change. The worst is when he changes you, and that can happen too.[/quote]

only a weak woman will be changed but i mean if shes a good lady - good on her deen that she shall have the strenght to not be changed - the same goes for a brother with a deen - but if its a man who is very down in the deen then he can be changed for the good a possibility

Posted: **Sat Apr 18, 2009 8:54 am**

1.NO
2.NO
3.NO
4.NO
5.NO

Posted: **Sat Apr 18, 2009 9:31 am**

Queen_Arawello wrote:1.NO
2.NO
3.NO
4.NO
5.NO

your the second lady in here who answered all No

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