Love before marriage

[*Proud_Muslimah*]

Peace PragmaticGal

Let me put this simply LOVE=DATING=BEING ALONE TOGETHER=SATAN=SHAMEFUL SIN

I don't think any of us here are saying "love" is haram or anything like that

[PragmaticGal]

[quote="*Proud_Muslimah*"]Peace PragmaticGal

Let me put this simply LOVE=DATING=BEING ALONE TOGETHER=SATAN=SHAMEFUL SIN

I don't think any of us here are saying "love" is haram or anything like that [/quote]


I think that's the funniest thing I have read on these boards in a long while.

If LOVE=dating=being alone together=SHAMEFUL SIN, then how is it not haram?

[Mochatanya]

You love someone- might be inclined to date them-dating begins- alone time- shaytan is the third member of such an arrangement- which leads to sinning.

Proudie isn't saying love is haram.. But it can LEAD to it.

[*Proud_Muslimah*]

Mochatanya

[Axlaan]

[quote="*Proud_Muslimah*"]Assalamu Alaikum,

What "moma"? Do you mean you?

Date? Why would you be going out on a date in the first place?

I'm talking about the guy coming over to your house, getting to know your father and while him and your father are getting to know eachother, you and your mum prepare shah with some sweet biscuits...after you have both finished preparing, you come into the living room and just have a normal "marriage" chat. Of course, if you wish..your parents can give you a few minutes to yourself just to sort of get to know eachother. Now this kind of "getting to know eachother" will proof to you how SERIOUS the guy is about you wouldn't say sis?[/quote]

Proud,
This sounds bit weird, immature and Arab like attitude. In the Somali community, the only time a guy would meet the girl's family is when he asking for her hand in marriage. I'm sure my parents would like to meet the husband to be and get to know him a little, which is perfectly fine. Lakiin sitting around and having chitchats with my father while my mother and I prepare shaah and desert isn't the norm. I also believe real love comes after marriage, but I can't have my parents, relatives, or friends follow me around while I'm trying to get to know this person in none haram or sinful manner. Love is a beautiful thing and people should experience it at any stage in their relationships.

[*Proud_Muslimah*]

Assalamu Alaikum sister Axlaan,

"This sounds bit weird, immature and Arab like attitude. In the Somali community, the only time a guy would meet the girl's family is when he asking for her hand in marriage"

Sister, this is what the Sunnah teaches us, I don't understand what's soo "weird" or "immature" about it? Are you saying the Sunnah of the Prophet (saw) is an "Arab" like attitude? The Somali tradition and what Islam teaches are different from eachother. Of course things don't have to occur the way I have described it above, it was just my opinion

There are a lot of OTHER halal ways you can get to know the person

Salam

[Axlaan]

[quote="*Proud_Muslimah*"]
There are a lot of OTHER halal ways you can get to know the person

Salam[/quote]

Totally agree walaal. As long as my parents (who are your typical intimidating Somali parents) don't have to sit between us while the poor guy and I are having a conversation.

[PragmaticGal]

[quote="Mochatanya"]You love someone- might be inclined to date them-dating begins- alone time- shaytan is the third member of such an arrangement- which leads to sinning.

Proudie isn't saying love is haram.. But it can LEAD to it.[/quote]

I guess she was trying to say something like:

LOVE-->DATING-->BEING ALONE TOGETHER-->SATAN-->SHAMEFUL SIN

The equal signs give a different idea.

But anyway, it's still wrong. You generally don't love someone until you've dated or gotten to know them in SOME way.

When I was little, my sisters used to take us along on dates. That way, they could talk and get to know their dates, while still maintaining some decorum (the guys were also less likely to try anything too amorous with amused young eyes watching). Great fun for us too, since we got to go to fancy restuarants and whatnot.

Would that be allowed by the Shariah do you think?

[Wise-Man]

quote=Mochatanya."You love someone- might be inclined to date them-dating begins- alone time- shaytan is the third member of such an arrangement- which leads to sinning. Proudie isn't saying love is haram.. But it can LEAD to it"..
.
Mocha, I always love reading your wisely input. But, let me rephrase what you said. Love doesnt lead you into haram,but dating. You know, people go dating without loving one another and they commit sin and everything. You can love someone and avoid going out with that person. It depedents how you met and who you are though..

PS: Axlaan, What the hell you doing here? I thought inaad ka wey naatey dating..

[Axlaan]

[quote="Wise-Man" ]
PS: Axlaan, What the hell you doing here? I thought inaad ka wey naatey dating.. [/quote]

Wise qarxiska jooji. Haven't you heard, dating is haram. Instead I married right away. No wonder I'm on my third kasband.

[Mochatanya]

Wise- I mean that love can lead you to want to date...

Love can also lead you in to great tranquility and happiness, the best example is the love of ALLAH!

[Wise-Man]

third@kasband kulahaa..Axlaan, i can see..Inaadan nin calaf ku laheyn..I wish you inaad hesho Mid-xusul baruur ah oo caano maadiye laakiin calacalka jooji, nin sabraa sad hela, you know how it works eedo macaan.. But,stop misleading caruurta.. I did nt put my two cent about dating, coz maan qaan gaarin weli.I am not old enough to date

Mocha, well said as usual..I agree with you Love can also lead you in to great tranquility and happiness, the best example is the love of ALLAH!

[Abdi Garissa]

Aga Yaa idiin ogoladee inaat isbarataan

[Just_passin]

ONE OF THE MOST IMMATIATE ASPECTS OF SOCIAL LIFE IS OUR INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS. IT IS, THEREFORE, NO ACCIDENT THAT SOAP OPERAS HAV A HUGE FOLLOWING, AND THEY FOCUS ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY ON CLOSE RELATIONSHIP-FRIENDSHIPS, ENMITIES, FAMILY LIFE, ROMANCE AND SO FORTH. FOR MOST OF US, MUCH OF OUR DAY-TO-DAY HAPPINESS OR MISERY RESTS ON HOW OUR PERSONAL RELATTIONSHIPS ARE FARING
.
.
JUST SAYING

[+chilli]

[quote="Mochatanya"]Wise- I mean that love can lead you to want to date...

Love can also lead you in to great tranquility and happiness, the best example is the love of ALLAH![/quote]




Can I just say ‘dating’ is not haram in my view…it’s the processes of getting to know some1….maybe we need to redefine it from the kufir meaning….that the processes doesn’t turn into a too physical intimacy relationship…but if you remover the connotations it carries today…in the media ect….then it is just simply ‘getting to know’ period. If you’re getting to know some1 and will be marrying them say in 2yrs, but you’re both committed to each other whats that called….i say dating.