Advice To Muslim Women Regarding Their Husbands

[SultanOrder]

I think the biggest fallacy someone can come to the conclusion of is to say that one or the others rights are greater. It just seems so when one is repeated more and emphasized over the other due to I believe, 1. a monopoly of men having access to religious knowledge, 2. men always needing someway to "control" their women, 3. peoples obsession with carnal desires. If a man was to leave his wife hungry, how many people would debate about that, but the shariah is absolutely against that and the punishment for something like that is extreme. People have two basic appetites, sex and food. You can easily understand that by looking all around you in this world, especially here where things are made very explicit. Men and women have desires, and Allah through his mercy has created spouses for us as a means of fulfilling them, and enjoying it. So when either of the spouses neglects each others rights it becomes a gross breach and injustice of the covenant they came into with illahay.


Now having understood that, we must always look at these legal injunctions in the frame and purpose of the shariah. The Sharia has five main objectives, and one of them is society. It is well known that of our less scrupulous brothers, if their needs aren't being fulfilled they will look else where, and unfortunately there has always been a buisness willing to fulfill every needs. This harms the society, though I am not saying it is because of the women directly that he has done this, but indirectly yes. Note that force is never an option for the man to bring about his rights. That is just one point made, not strong but unfortunately common. But we can't forget that the shariah is a balance in everything, in physical and metaphysical, in emotional needs just as bodily needs. An emphasis in the shariah for men is providing for the material needs of his wife and children, he has to bring in income, he has to make sure they are are fed, clothed, have a good life, and maintain his wife at her rightful standard, so if they are rich he has to spend more on her than a poor man on his wife. He is legally obligated I believe to do this, you can check me up on this. Now we can argue that men then become wage slaves, having to do all these things while the wife does not have to. So if the shariah is focusing on this aspect for a man, is it right that it should also focus on providing material goods by the women? No, because this would not be a balance in roles and relations that the shariah asks for, one whole side to life would be missing, so then it becomes incumbent that the other side to life, yes that of sex and emotional well-being is focused on by primarily women. If both counterparts to the same agenda do their duties and obligations, then all needs are met, and a balanced and happy life can ensue. Also, how many women out of spite would refuse their husbands advances if he is providing for her, the children, and working hard doing so? My shaykh said, the shariah is all about for men sucking up and just being a man, and if you are men then your women will naturally be women. And Allah Knows best.

Anyway I'm just trying to say don't look at this one particular issue without looking at all the aspects. The shariah is only best when it is applied in a complete system.

[BlackVelvet]

We are talking of course within the limits of religion, if he tells you to throw the hijab then he is transgressor that can be fought.

There's no such thing as mini-god it is simply a matter of obedience.

I think you are trying to turn something that is supposed to be sacred and pure between a man and a woman into a power struggle and an ugly source of humiliation. That is not only unnecessary but it's also soiling the beauty of our religion and that is pitiful coming from a Muslim.

[BlackVelvet]

I think the biggest fallacy someone can come to the conclusion of is to say that one or the others rights are greater. It just seems so when one is repeated more and emphasized over the other due to I believe, 1. a monopoly of men having access to religious knowledge, 2. men always needing someway to "control" their women, 3. peoples obsession with carnal desires. If a man was to leave his wife hungry, how many people would debate about that, but the shariah is absolutely against that and the punishment for something like that is extreme. People have two basic appetites, sex and food. You can easily understand that by looking all around you in this world, especially here where things are made very explicit. Men and women have desires, and Allah through his mercy has created spouses for us as a means of fulfilling them, and enjoying it. So when either of the spouses neglects each others rights it becomes a gross breach and injustice of the covenant they came into with illahay.


Now having understood that, we must always look at these legal injunctions in the frame and purpose of the shariah. The Sharia has five main objectives, and one of them is society. It is well known that of our less scrupulous brothers, if their needs aren't being fulfilled they will look else where, and unfortunately there has always been a buisness willing to fulfill every needs. This harms the society, though I am not saying it is because of the women directly that he has done this, but indirectly yes. Note that force is never an option for the man to bring about his rights. That is just one point made, not strong but unfortunately common. But we can't forget that the shariah is a balance in everything, in physical and metaphysical, in emotional needs just as bodily needs. An emphasis in the shariah for men is providing for the material needs of his wife and children, he has to bring in income, he has to make sure they are are fed, clothed, have a good life, and maintain his wife at her rightful standard, so if they are rich he has to spend more on her than a poor man on his wife. He is legally obligated I believe to do this, you can check me up on this. Now we can argue that men then become wage slaves, having to do all these things while the wife does not have to. So if the shariah is focusing on this aspect for a man, is it right that it should also focus on providing material goods by the women? No, because this would not be a balance in roles and relations that the shariah asks for, one whole side to life would be missing, so then it becomes incumbent that the other side to life, yes that of sex and emotional well-being is focused on by primarily women. If both counterparts to the same agenda do their duties and obligations, then all needs are met, and a balanced and happy life can ensue. Also, how many women out of spite would refuse their husbands advances if he is providing for her, the children, and working hard doing so? My shaykh said, the shariah is all about for men sucking up and just being a man, and if you are men then your women will naturally be women. And Allah Knows best.

Anyway I'm just trying to say don't look at this one particular issue without looking at all the aspects. The shariah is only best when it is applied in a complete system.

So true

[SultanOrder]

PO, I think that non-literal approach can be very dangerous walaal, what's next? "The hijab isn't compulsory god only meant covering as in a moral sense!" It will open up a pandora box that will lead to the watering down of our religion.

True, that sometimes a non literal understanding can be dangerous. But with everything we have to look at it with knowledge, so to say hijab isn't compulsory is completely wrong because of overwhelming evidence contrary to that. That is a point that should not be entertained. But we should look at things in a proper sense, and he mentioned that hadith from riyadh salihiin, and he himself was given tafsir of it by legitimate scholars.

[SultanOrder]

It's also sad that we have adopted some of the attitudes of sex from the west. In the majority of their christian history carnal pleasure was looked at as a sin, especially for the religious class (which should be the embodiment of the highest morals and virtues to strive for) and only tolerated for the masses for the sake of procreation. It wasn't too long ago that in the Victorian age of the late 1800's that they believed a women should find pleasure in sex. But a man could, and a women was just a vessel for his needs. The western world has seen a paradigm shift in their believes, and a lot of the way things are is a complete rebellion to their recent history. Much of the feminist movements have been about fighting these attitudes, so when women shouldn't wear dresses above their ankles they wore pants, a women shouldn't ride a bike so they rode bikes as a form of rebellion, a women should wait till marriage to loose her virginity they became promiscuous deliberately, a women should work outside of the house, a women shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't bay waaladeen. They have done some good things like womens suffrage, right to vote, and equal opportunity act. So a lot of their attacks they as in the western sense is misconstrued by their own understanding, making the mistake that Islam is a carbon copy of what Christianity was to them. And a lot of muslims unknowingly or not look at islam from a western perspective, even if they don't know the history of it. Knowledge is the only option for us, to properly understand our diin and then make the decisions of it then.

[Du$ty]

You Lot Are Making Me Feel Old

[BlackVelvet]

You Lot Are Making Me Feel Old

Waad duqoowdey

[burhaan2010]

perfect order

dnt try to change the diin to make a feminist feel batter about herself. a woman's husband is her master and most important person in her life, even more than her waarid.

[Du$ty]

You Lot Are Making Me Feel Old

Waad duqoowdey

Duqoowdey? You Mean.. Old ?
I'm Not Old.. I'm Still In My Prime But I Got Grey Hairs In My Goatee

[BlackVelvet]

Isn't "duqoowdey" old in af Somali?

About the greys, you can now put cilaan on your face

[DisplacedDiraac]

Isn't "duqoowdey" old in af Somali?

Gaaboob = Old

Like Waa Gaaboobdey..

[Du$ty]

Isn't "duqoowdey" old in af Somali?

About the greys, you can now put cilaan on your face

Westie, Can You Translate Please

[DisplacedDiraac]

Cilaan = Henna/dye..

[Du$ty]

Cilaan = Henna/dye..

Cheers Love..You Can Go Away Now.. I Will Call You When I Need You

Henna Will Make Part Of My Goatee Look Rusty

[BlackVelvet]

To look Rusty or to look Dusty? Decisions decisions