SomaliNet Forums

accident wrote:If I am providing for her, she should shut the fuck up and stop being a burden. I would have more issues than worrying about whether she has this right or that right!

The age limit on this thread is 20, you have 7 years to go

BlackVelvet wrote:But isn't it sad to be married to someone you don't fully trust.

yh but thats just another fact of life. I think women especially in somali marriages need more leverage than a man would. Plus you can never [fully] trust anyone but yourself.

BlackVelvet wrote:

accident wrote:If I am providing for her, she should shut the fuck up and stop being a burden. I would have more issues than worrying about whether she has this right or that right!

The age limit on this thread is 20, you have 7 years to go

A 13 year old can marry! Are you offering yourself?

I mean really, you guys make marriage sound like a prison. "She has rights, she should know all my financial information, she should know when I take a dump, she should have a report at the end of everyday detailing everything I have encountered the whole day. "

I will provide for her, I will make financial and business decision and let her have a say in the matter if I feel I am out of my depth and need help. I rather not have someone to answer to every waking day.

And finally, I won't have her clear out my accounts whenever we have an argument! "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned"

Bv

War ma haysid, cid hada is aaminta ba iska yar, there are women who even carry their husbands bank cards iska da wax kale..pincod iyo waxa wa la so dhaafey.

BlackVelvet wrote:He was working, she just had more of a knack for investments.

Murax what's wrong with knowing about all the finances. I thought the issue would be more about spending. .

Because frankly speaking 95% of Women are very, very bad with managing finances.



Plus it could lead to, a lot of fussing and 'You don't wanna buy this even though I just saw Your account, etc. even though u could be thinking about a million different bills like rent, cable, phone, insurance, car payment, etc. while she's wondering why the house doesn't have this particular kind of carpet

Murax wrote:

BlackVelvet wrote:He was working, she just had more of a knack for investments.

Murax what's wrong with knowing about all the finances. I thought the issue would be more about spending. .

Because frankly speaking 95% of Women are very, very bad with managing finances.



Plus it could lead to, a lot of fussing and 'You don't wanna buy this even though I just saw Your account, etc. even though u could be thinking about a million different bills like rent, cable, phone, insurance, car payment, etc. while she's wondering why the house doesn't have this particular kind of carpet

I fall into category A. Couples are always working towards something whether it is buying a house, saving, investing in their children's education etc so you have to know all of the income and outgoings in order to budget. Even if the man pays for everything, i think majority of women who have their own income still spend it on the household and are not stashing it away for their their own use. It is just not practical. I know of no somali woman who doesnt know her husband's income, just open his letters as Helwa said. We are too nosy.

Answer is plain and simple ; A
Should there even be a question about it , waxa iska dhaaf my aunty has her husbands bank card , she manages all finances and to make it even worst he asks her for his money loool even then she sometimes says no.

I believe that "what's his is mine and what's mine is mine"

MizHargeysa wrote:Answer is plain and simple ; A
Should there even be a question about it , waxa iska dhaaf my aunty has her husbands bank card , she manages all finances and to make it even worst he asks her for his money loool even then she sometimes says no.

I believe that "what's his is mine and what's mine is mine"

That's castration. He lost his balls.

If that is what category A entails then I pity any man who chooses it.

accident wrote:

MizHargeysa wrote:Answer is plain and simple ; A
Should there even be a question about it , waxa iska dhaaf my aunty has her husbands bank card , she manages all finances and to make it even worst he asks her for his money loool even then she sometimes says no.

I believe that "what's his is mine and what's mine is mine"

That's castration. He lost his balls.

If that is what category A entails then I pity any man who chooses it.

Having access to bank cards and accounts dont mean she gona spend it on watever she likes. Its just supervision
Somalis say " wixi la qariya qudhun ba ku jira"

You sound like you tight fisted with money bro. haha

Knowing is a must, however having access to funds depends on your expenditures and the wife's status. Personally speaking, if I was working, I'd have my own spending money and savings, so I wouldn't bother with the particulars of his account (assuming he's paying the bills ). However, if I wasn't working and had children to feed, I'd be crunching numbers like an accountant

So most ladies are in category A and most guys from what I understand, you want her to think she is in category A while keeping her in B. Pretty obvious where things go wrong

I pick B, wtf are you serious, matter of fact I'm going to have a private account of my own, and she will have a private account of her own, and then there will be a shared account where we both need to approve to get anything serious out. She does't need to know where everything I have is, or approve every thing I want to do, nor do I need to oversee all her affairs so long as we are not in a pinch. Lakin I'm practical, and I don't judge things by sexist attitudes or preconceived notions, I don't see my wife as a "woman" but as an individual, and if she is good with finances and can make great decisions, then why the hell would i stop such a great source, it would be retarded, at the same time if she sucks at it ipso facto she would have less control and influence. Marriage to me is two individual, and things need to be divided up between merit.

At the sametime I don't expect to be hiding things from her, I just might not tell her everything, or I might still do things even if she disagree's, I have to make a decision at the end for the both of us, and if it is to our benefit and I believe strongly in it, I'm going to do it.

Murax your just stuck in some weird world, that only applies to if you are making 70% of the income or more, but nowadays its a bit more balanced, and most couples both work. So why would you get stuck in paying for everything? You won't handle that, and most likely you wouldn't continue to do that.

Whomever of the two who has better financial sense should manage it.

I think both should know their financial status and know where they are headed.Having access to each other`s accounts is a totally different ball game.Assuming they both work,then the financial burden can be shared provided the dude understand that she is not really obliged to do so.He is still the provider.

I really think every married couple should assign one to be the financial manager of the household finances and it would be even better if the wife is a stay home and kids are in the picture.