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Alpha, i will always have respect for them . it's just that living in the same place with the in-laws are usually arguments, and jealousy on both sides .

I don't what you guys are talking about. I'd say it's usually the wife's mother trying to live vicariously through her daughter's marriage, dictating to her daughter what should and shouldn't occur.

I've also heard more of wives disrespecting their husband's mother, without reason.

The prophet (salalahu alayh wasallam) said IN LAWS are death , its in sahih bukhari. in other words they are a great danger because the chances of zina is rampant in these circumstances. khulwada waa in aad looga digtoonaado. and the wife does not have to obey ANYONE except her husband, then her own parents.

abakar20 wrote:The prophet (salalahu alayh wasallam) said IN LAWS are death , its in sahih bukhari. in other words they are a great danger because the chances of zina is rampant in these circumstances. khulwada waa in aad looga digtoonaado. and the wife does not have to obey ANYONE except her husband, then her own parents.

My God is your understanding of that hadeeth so miserably incorrect. Either that, or you have no clue what this thread is about.

Alphanumeric wrote:

abakar20 wrote:The prophet (salalahu alayh wasallam) said IN LAWS are death , its in sahih bukhari. in other words they are a great danger because the chances of zina is rampant in these circumstances. khulwada waa in aad looga digtoonaado. and the wife does not have to obey ANYONE except her husband, then her own parents.

My God is your understanding of that hadeeth so miserably incorrect. Either that, or you have no clue what this thread is about.

forget about living with an inlaw, if your a female, your inlaw isnt even allowed to be in the same room as you without your mahram present. im trying to say its wiser to be apart because it is purer in faith.

abakar20 wrote:

Alphanumeric wrote:

abakar20 wrote:The prophet (salalahu alayh wasallam) said IN LAWS are death , its in sahih bukhari. in other words they are a great danger because the chances of zina is rampant in these circumstances. khulwada waa in aad looga digtoonaado. and the wife does not have to obey ANYONE except her husband, then her own parents.

My God is your understanding of that hadeeth so miserably incorrect. Either that, or you have no clue what this thread is about.

forget about living with an inlaw, if your a female, your inlaw isnt even allowed to be in the same room as you without your mahram present. im trying to say its wiser to be apart because it is purer in faith.

What the frigg. Where are u getting these stuff from?

Alphanumeric wrote:I don't what you guys are talking about. I'd say it's usually the wife's mother trying to live vicariously through her daughter's marriage, dictating to her daughter what should and shouldn't occur.

I've also heard more of wives disrespecting their husband's mother, without reason.

A1, I think that's because first you never lived back home and second you may not mix with a lot of Somali families in your ends at the moment.

Sooner or later, there will be issues & arguments in many such families so if the husband is financially capable it's better to be independent, well unless he's the only one taking care of his mother.

Beans, he's thinking "in-law" in the most Islamically literal sense. As in brother/sister in-law. He doesn't seem to understand what the thread is about.

Twist, perhaps you're right.

Alpha: you know it's unusual for a mother to live with her son in law right?..

Beans: both of us. she will most likely won't like her son spending all the time/money in the world with me .i also think that it will bother her to see her son listening to me. besides, i wouldn't like her to invade the privacy of our home.

Somalis think its their right to do what they like in a mans home, they say wiilkeyga gurigiisa anaa leh and gabarteeyda gurigeeda ninkeeda leh, its like gabarta waa la iag aroose so they cant say much. With someone women its like being in a relationship of three with a women who you cant beat because its his mother

beans, cafwan, if you meant inlaw as in the entire family of your spouse then its still the same. its just that the parents inlaw are mahrams whereas siblings inlaw are not. and just to clarify somethings, parents inlaws may be the mahram of a woman but they dont have the same parental rights over her. she is only obedient to her husband and her own parents only. in some cultures like the asians you find women who are bossed around by their husbands mother and treated badly but know thats this isnt tolerated in our religion and men should know the rights of their wives.

Abakar Walaalo There is a difference between treating someone with most respect and avoiding having walk all over u. That was not the issue.

I have always been against the mentality that mother in law=evil. I know in some cultures,the daughter in law doesnt have a say.

Maybe i am being naive in this issue.

Beans wrote:Abakar Walaalo There is a difference between treating someone with most respect and avoiding having walk all over u. That was not the issue.

I have always been against the mentality that mother in law=evil. I know in some cultures,the daughter in law doesnt have a say.

Maybe i am being naive in this issue.

alxamdulilah, waxaad moodaa inuu ilaahay mujtamaceena diinta fahamsiiyey, most of our women are strong individuals and they know their rights. when a marriage contract is done, every stakeholder should be doing their upmost best to keep their families together in terms of good relations. anyway ive noticed in most cases its the husband who settles with his wifes family, usually when the wifes parents are old and need looking after.

In six months time I have to visit my mother in law and frankly I am very much dreading it.

Last time I saw her was six years ago and it was bad enough.

No, it's best to liv in diffrent countries when it comes to inlows, isku aqalna sheekadisaba daa.