3 Somali men return from chewing

Daily chitchat.

Moderators: Moderators, Junior Moderators

Forum rules
This General Forum is for general discussions from daily chitchat to more serious discussions among Somalinet Forums members. Please do not use it as your Personal Message center (PM). If you want to contact a particular person or a group of people, please use the PM feature. If you want to contact the moderators, pls PM them. If you insist leaving a public message for the mods or other members, it will be deleted.
User avatar
Twist
SomaliNet Super
SomaliNet Super
Posts: 12420
Joined: Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:14 pm
Location: In your neighbors' lawn, stalkin' your mom

Re: 3 Somali men return from chewing

Post by Twist »

mahdi01 wrote:LooL good one, I heard bunch of crazy stories about khat chewers, some of them are real embarrassment :lol:

Somewhere in Somalia a small town there was a man who used chew khat everyday and every time he gets high he sees himself being a professional on particular job such a pilot, Civil Engineer, military General…… etc. one afternoon while he was the middle of his chewing he assumed himself been a gynecologist.

There was Hospital just few blocks away from his home, and walked toward the hospital, at the entrance of the hospital he found and wore one of the white gowns left some of the doctors on break at the time then he entered one of the rooms in the hospital, at the room there was a half naked woman laying in the bed getting treatment from a doctor, but at the time her doctor went out of the room to get something for her.

When the khat chewer saw the naked woman he immediately started examining on her genital just like a real doctor would do, after couple of minutes the woman felt the man is not the first doctor in the room and behaving oddly, when she looked his face real good she noticed is someone she knew very well who wasn’t a doctor then she started screaming loud, the entire hospital came to rescue her and the town was small town where most of the residents knew each other.

When the nurses and doctors filled the room they found out a familiar face dressed like a doctor but wasn’t a doctor, they escorted him out of the hospital and told him the woman in the bed was his mother inlaw, the khat chewer paused for a minute and said “now I know why she had that large and wide genitalia just like her daughter” :lol: :lol:
LOOOOOOOOOL! :lol: :lol: :lol: :down:
User avatar
jalaaludin5
SomaliNet Super
SomaliNet Super
Posts: 8832
Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:37 am
Location: “Beauties in vain their pretty eyes may roll; Charms strike the sight, but merit wins the soul.”

Re: 3 Somali men return from chewing

Post by jalaaludin5 »

Two Somali friends who were also neighbours use to shew at the same marfish. When they go home at night one use to hear all the laughter coming from his friend's house. This guy is having problem with erections but every night he gets annoyed by the sound of his friend's wife and wonder how does he do it. then he asked one day, whats your secret sxb? how do you do it?

The friend tells him...i lay in bed on my back raise the flag as far as i can, then me and the wife have a bet on wich way its going to fall :lol: :lol:
User avatar
Lillaahiya
SomaliNet Super
SomaliNet Super
Posts: 9782
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 1:35 am

Re: 3 Somali men return from chewing

Post by Lillaahiya »

mahdi01 wrote:LooL good one, I heard bunch of crazy stories about khat chewers, some of them are real embarrassment :lol:

Somewhere in Somalia a small town there was a man who used chew khat everyday and every time he gets high he sees himself being a professional on particular job such a pilot, Civil Engineer, military General…… etc. one afternoon while he was the middle of his chewing he assumed himself been a gynecologist.

There was Hospital just few blocks away from his home, and walked toward the hospital, at the entrance of the hospital he found and wore one of the white gowns left some of the doctors on break at the time then he entered one of the rooms in the hospital, at the room there was a half naked woman laying in the bed getting treatment from a doctor, but at the time her doctor went out of the room to get something for her.

When the khat chewer saw the naked woman he immediately started examining on her genital just like a real doctor would do, after couple of minutes the woman felt the man is not the first doctor in the room and behaving oddly, when she looked his face real good she noticed is someone she knew very well who wasn’t a doctor then she started screaming loud, the entire hospital came to rescue her and the town was small town where most of the residents knew each other.

When the nurses and doctors filled the room they found out a familiar face dressed like a doctor but wasn’t a doctor, they escorted him out of the hospital and told him the woman in the bed was his mother inlaw, the khat chewer paused for a minute and said “now I know why she had that large and wide genitalia just like her daughter” :lol: :lol:
Wakhtiga waalidka la cayeeye ba la gaadhay miyaa? Gartey.
Lamagoodle
SomaliNet Super
SomaliNet Super
Posts: 7335
Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 11:20 pm

Re: 3 Somali men return from chewing

Post by Lamagoodle »

This is an old joke and had nothing to do with qat chewing.
User avatar
Talo alle udaa
SomaliNet Heavyweight
SomaliNet Heavyweight
Posts: 2739
Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2009 4:03 pm
Location: Evaluating the African mind

Re: 3 Somali men return from chewing

Post by Talo alle udaa »

a man after getting high in qat confused a wasp for shirt hanger. every time he would try to place his short on the wall it would move, and run from him until he was seen running in the yard chasing a wasp attempting to hang his shirt on the creature. This was said to be a true story.

Then their is the story of the man who tried to swim in a bowl of water, suddenly it appeared to him the water was large enough for him to swim in it.
He took of his clothes, and as he prepared to launch himself into the vessel, he was seen naked in the living room by his wife who had to wrestle to restrain him.
User avatar
jalaaludin5
SomaliNet Super
SomaliNet Super
Posts: 8832
Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:37 am
Location: “Beauties in vain their pretty eyes may roll; Charms strike the sight, but merit wins the soul.”

Re: 3 Somali men return from chewing

Post by jalaaludin5 »

^^wax macquul ah la kaalay :lol:
User avatar
king of kismayo
SomaliNetizen
SomaliNetizen
Posts: 449
Joined: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:52 am

Re: 3 Somali men return from chewing

Post by king of kismayo »

Image
User avatar
Talo alle udaa
SomaliNet Heavyweight
SomaliNet Heavyweight
Posts: 2739
Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2009 4:03 pm
Location: Evaluating the African mind

Re: 3 Somali men return from chewing

Post by Talo alle udaa »

jalaaludin5 wrote:^^wax macquul ah la kaalay :lol:
saaxiib, I am only a narrator.
User avatar
jalaaludin5
SomaliNet Super
SomaliNet Super
Posts: 8832
Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:37 am
Location: “Beauties in vain their pretty eyes may roll; Charms strike the sight, but merit wins the soul.”

Re: 3 Somali men return from chewing

Post by jalaaludin5 »

Talo alle udaa wrote:saaxiib, I am only a narrator.
Well that makes you a bad narrator. :down:

Have you read mine? Its a true story.
Advo
SomaliNet Super
SomaliNet Super
Posts: 27096
Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2008 4:11 am
Location: ever green state

Re: 3 Somali men return from chewing

Post by Advo »

There was a man who chewed for 7 hours straight and decided to call it a night, got in his car and drove away...shorty after he called 911 very upset and when the operator asked him what was wrong, he said every car he passed was going the wrong way. :lol:
User avatar
jalaaludin5
SomaliNet Super
SomaliNet Super
Posts: 8832
Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:37 am
Location: “Beauties in vain their pretty eyes may roll; Charms strike the sight, but merit wins the soul.”

Re: 3 Somali men return from chewing

Post by jalaaludin5 »

^^ Now that's more believable :lol: :lol:

There was this guy who was shewing in a marfish and when it was time to leave he grabbed the bag he was using for the rubbish and went home with it. :lol: This actualy happened to couple of people.
Advo
SomaliNet Super
SomaliNet Super
Posts: 27096
Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2008 4:11 am
Location: ever green state

Re: 3 Somali men return from chewing

Post by Advo »

:lol:

ok I made that one up but true story I know this guy too.....he lived with his wife and mother in law. After a whole night of chewing session he comes home and takes a shower in the morning, he was soo high that he forgot to put his clothes on and walked out naked only to see a shocked, frightened old lady infront of him. He realized the situation quickly and ran back to get dressed, embarrassed to come out and explain himself....he panicked and called people for advise, another mirqaan guy gives him an advise and suggests his only option is to plead insanity. So he comes out the bathroom...goes straight for the kitchen and started breaking dishes, yelling and fighting with curtains. The mother in law runs out the house screams "war isooo cararoo ina hebel waa lugu soo boodey" etc.....people come and restrain to him, xariifka is taking to the hospital for evaluation. The news gets to the mirqaan friend that gave him the advise originally and he exposes him and people find out the true story :lol: :lol:
User avatar
Twist
SomaliNet Super
SomaliNet Super
Posts: 12420
Joined: Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:14 pm
Location: In your neighbors' lawn, stalkin' your mom

Re: 3 Somali men return from chewing

Post by Twist »

Advo wrote::lol:

ok I made that one up but true story I know this guy too.....he lived with his wife and mother in law. After a whole night of chewing session he comes home and takes a shower in the morning, he was soo high that he forgot to put his clothes on and walked out naked only to see a shocked, frightened old lady infront of him. He realized the situation quickly and ran back to get dressed, embarrassed to come out and explain himself....he panicked and called people for advise, another mirqaan guy gives him an advise and suggests his only option is to plead insanity. So he comes out the bathroom...goes straight for the kitchen and started breaking dishes, yelling and fighting with curtains. The mother in law runs out the house screams "war isooo cararoo ina hebel waa lugu soo boodey" etc.....people come and restrain to him, xariifka is taking to the hospital for evaluation. The news gets to the mirqaan friend that gave him the advise originally and he exposes him and people find out the true story :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

He might have been better off if he just left it at the first incident.

This happened to someone I know early 90's.

There's this guy who had the reputation of being big chewer, with a well-known plant-based drink called 'Shalaboow' in Saakoow, Bu'aale and that Jubbada Dhexe area. It's made from a tree called 'Baar' that looks like palm-tree & the drink makes people seem drunk.

Anyway, this guy had his qat with that drink at a friend's place and he became very high. It was late evening & he wanted to go home but somehow he couldn't get to his place coz the alley he wanted to take became too small for him. In his mind, his nose became too long that it was touching the wall of the house if front of him and when he tried to turn around and go back his nose was hitting the two walls of the 2 houses on his sides. He was trapped and couldn't go forward or turn around and go back. He started walking backwards and when he was doing that, a friend of him saw him and asked what he was doing. He goes like, "Sankeeyga hortiisa seed haloo baneeyo." It became so famous that some people used to call him, "Sankeeyga hortiisa see haloo baneeyo." :lol: :lol:
Last edited by Twist on Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
jalaaludin5
SomaliNet Super
SomaliNet Super
Posts: 8832
Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:37 am
Location: “Beauties in vain their pretty eyes may roll; Charms strike the sight, but merit wins the soul.”

Re: 3 Somali men return from chewing

Post by jalaaludin5 »

Advo wrote: After a whole night of chewing session he comes home and takes a shower in the morning, he was soo high that he forgot to put his clothes on
I know enough about jaad and its mirqaan to know that once you take a shower you feel better and less high, let the next day.

So this one is fake :lol:
User avatar
zingii
SomaliNet Super
SomaliNet Super
Posts: 9937
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2008 2:43 am
Location: Agah, Arlee, Boowe, Gaw, Nooh.

Re: 3 Somali men return from chewing

Post by zingii »

*Nobleman* wrote:There were 3 somali men taking a taxi late in the night after they'd been chewing khat......they got inside a taxi.The taxi driver noticed that they were little bit high and so he sarted the engine but did not drive after a few minutes he turned the engine off and said:"We are here".The first man said;"Thank you" the second man gave the money but the third man slapped the driver.The driver thought that he figured it out,but instead he said:"Don't Ever Drive that fast,you Almost killed us
:lol: :lol:

Didn't see the punch line coming. :lol:
Locked
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “General - General Discussions”