arrange marriages need to be abondoned

[Beans]

Two Islaamo meet and end up deciding to introduce Caasho`s daugher to Abdi`s son for marriage.If they both agree,success,if they say no or either one of them does,they move to the next project.That is the type of "arranged" marriage that is common among Somalis.

No one gets forced into marrying their cousin like other cultures.Some Somali families might pressure their daughter into marrying a man of their choice but it really hardly ever gets to it being a forced marriage.

[Lamagoodle]

I am not arguing that arrange marriages are necessarily bad.. I am attacking the idea of forced marriage. For example, a friend of mine whom attended school with me from kindergarden to senior year high school was taken to africa last month. they told her thr nature of the journey was visitation to families. She came back married. As soon as she landed, a guy was waiting for her and when she refused, her mother gave her the choose my dua or blessing talk. She married him eventhough she has never spoken to him. She doesnt know his history, whay he is about and all that but she married him jusy to make her parents happy. I dont think parents have the right to put such a difficult expectation on their kids. apparently, some parents think they own their children and can make decisions for them without even consulting with them. Marriages like that usually end pretty quickly because two people have to choose each other. I know there is an economic aspect to it but personally i find the idea selfish. Hook them up and leave them alone, that should be about as far as parents go.

Really? did this happen? I notice that you are using "forced" instead of "arranged" which neccessarily are not the same. I don't think what you described above is common amongst the somalis. Plausible though because we have alot of countryside somalis.

[hipsterrunoff]

What are you talking about, warya? Nobody here in the west, except for the afghani, pakis and indians still do arrange marriages. No Somali people do it.

[udun]

If the guy can't talk to a lady, he, then, needs his family to get a girl for him. Soomaalis say "ninkaasi waa af badhay" meaning he can't approach ladies, so he needs help. Of course, if he is in Nairobi and passes his Flight13 interview, any lady in East Leigh who doesn't have case pending with the JVA (Joint Voluntary Agency) would readily say "yes walaalo/abboowe." If the guy is smart enough, he would do nikaah in Nairobi, and get down to business before his departure is posted. Many Flight 13 guys did a quick nikaah with beautiful ladies who would not talk to them otherwise, but did so anyways due to the guys passing their flights 13 cases; however, none of them had a wedding in Nairobi Well, as soon as the guys arrived in America, Canada, or Europe, they work so hard to bring their "supposedly" wives in the west. To their dismay, as soon as the ladies arrive in western airports, they did not even want talk to the guys. There are several guys in Ohio whom people say they have given up life because of what happened to them One of the guy would walk in long distances without taking a bus or getting into a car, and lives in a world of his own Some of the guys found themselves in what reer Hargeisa called "isku filnaasho ayuu gaadhay" and lives in another world of their own (as ussual, Basra style)

It also goes the other way around too as many guys took advantage of women.

Some folks took it to a whole new level and look for garoob (widowed or divorced) women who are financially secure, but have passed the age of having kids. This trend is popular in Nairobi where young guys marry old women who have houses, business, and of course mature kids

So to avoid trouble with materialistic people, many folks' options of finding reliable spouses have become through arranged marriages. If you are a man, just be prepared to be nicknamed "kii reerkoodu u guuriyey." In 2012, if any one can live with that kind of nickname, well, go for arranged marriage!

[udun]

What are you talking about, warya? Nobody here in the west, except for the afghani, pakis and indians still do arrange marriages. No Somali people do it.

Waxaan u malaynayaa in mileage farabadani ku saaran yahay!

[Hepburn]

What are you talking about, warya? Nobody here in the west, except for the afghani, pakis and indians still do arrange marriages. No Somali people do it.

Waxaan u malaynayaa in mileage farabadani ku saaran yahay!