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Re: How to allow your husband to have a second wife
Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 5:21 pm
by Aasli
original dervish wrote:i know a guy who was happily married with 4 children, masha`llah. he went to visit back home and got married out of the blue, just like that.
news filtered back to his wife, who done her nut. when he came back home his things were all bagged up, and his wife told him to, "do one!"
he eventually brought his new wife over to England, and they were together for about 18 months before she left him.
meanwhile his first wife, whom he had given a divorce to in the meantime, remarried.
sometime later he heard that his second wife had also remarried and was pregnant with twins.
the guy stopped working and spent his days/nights in the local marfish. eventually he ate himself into a state of psychosis and was admitted to a mental health centre.
the last i heard he was gonna be sent back home so the sheikhs can work on getting him right.
the moral of this story is,"don`t bite off more than you can chew"
Lovely story.
To all the guys in this thread: little advice, telling your wife you want a second wife is the end of a Somali marriage. I know a women who packed her clothes and left her husband without even telling him (he was away at work) the day after he told her he was thinking of having a second wife. Sad thing is that he was only joking (she is very beautiful). She went back to her family, and it took him 3 weeks to convince her that he wasn't serious and to come back home with him.
Re: How to allow your husband to have a second wife
Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 5:23 pm
by Ladyyonelove
Aasli wrote:original dervish wrote:i know a guy who was happily married with 4 children, masha`llah. he went to visit back home and got married out of the blue, just like that.
news filtered back to his wife, who done her nut. when he came back home his things were all bagged up, and his wife told him to, "do one!"
he eventually brought his new wife over to England, and they were together for about 18 months before she left him.
meanwhile his first wife, whom he had given a divorce to in the meantime, remarried.
sometime later he heard that his second wife had also remarried and was pregnant with twins.
the guy stopped working and spent his days/nights in the local marfish. eventually he ate himself into a state of psychosis and was admitted to a mental health centre.
the last i heard he was gonna be sent back home so the sheikhs can work on getting him right.
the moral of this story is,"don`t bite off more than you can chew"
Lovely story.
To all the guys in this thread: little advice, telling your wife you want a second wife is the end of a Somali marriage. I know a women who packed her clothes and left her husband without even telling him (he was away at work) the day after he told her he was thinking of having a second wife. Sad thing is that he was only joking (she is very beautiful). She went back to her family, and it took him 3 weeks to convince her that he wasn't serious and to come back home with him.
both stories
Re: How to allow your husband to have a second wife
Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 5:30 pm
by yungnfresh
Aasli wrote:original dervish wrote:i know a guy who was happily married with 4 children, masha`llah. he went to visit back home and got married out of the blue, just like that.
news filtered back to his wife, who done her nut. when he came back home his things were all bagged up, and his wife told him to, "do one!"
he eventually brought his new wife over to England, and they were together for about 18 months before she left him.
meanwhile his first wife, whom he had given a divorce to in the meantime, remarried.
sometime later he heard that his second wife had also remarried and was pregnant with twins.
the guy stopped working and spent his days/nights in the local marfish. eventually he ate himself into a state of psychosis and was admitted to a mental health centre.
the last i heard he was gonna be sent back home so the sheikhs can work on getting him right.
the moral of this story is,"don`t bite off more than you can chew"
Lovely story.
To all the guys in this thread: little advice, telling your wife you want a second wife is the end of a Somali marriage. I know a women who packed her clothes and left her husband without even telling him (he was away at work) the day after he told her he was thinking of having a second wife. Sad thing is that he was only joking (she is very beautiful). She went back to her family, and
it took him 3 weeks to convince her that he wasn't serious and to come back home with him.
Awkwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard
Getting a second wife is only the end of a WESTERN Somali marriage...back home it's caadi.
"Macaaneey, I'm gonna go to the market and pick up some hilib, a mijin of jaad, koob shaah and stop by the masjid for my second nikaax...I should be home by Maghrib"
Re: How to allow your husband to have a second wife
Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 6:16 pm
by kambuli
If your husband looks at another women or marries her, it means he has no love for you..Why would I want to stay with a man who marries another women? Believe me I would never mention his name again, let alone take to court etc
...Just get someone who will love and who will be loyal to you..
He moved on, I move on..Hadduu kaa danaystey ka daneyso dee...Wallaahay inaan magaciisa la iga maqleen..Period
Re: How to allow your husband to have a second wife
Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 6:18 pm
by Ladyyonelove
kambuli wrote:If your husband looks at another women or marries her, it means he has no love for you..Why would I want to stay with a man who marries another women? Believe me I would never mention his name again, let alone take to court etc
...Just get someone who will love and who will be loyal to you..
He moved on, I move on..Hadduu kaa danaystey ka daneyso dee...Wallaahay inaan magaciisa la iga maqleen..Period
Oh my god.... you are a she?
Re: How to allow your husband to have a second wife
Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 6:33 pm
by blitzkrieg
I don't even understand why some men in the west think it's logical to marry another wife. You need to make baaaaaaaank to keep up two households, and I don't even care if the other one's in Somalia. Wives aren't cheap. Children aren't cheap. Allah, and you want two wives and multiple kids? Indha-adeeyg. If you're not making at least $250,000, meel fadhiiso.
Re: How to allow your husband to have a second wife
Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 6:35 pm
by eliteSomali
One is madax xanuun enuff.
Re: How to allow your husband to have a second wife
Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 7:01 pm
by kambuli
Ladyyonelove,
OO haddanaa? Why woud you assume I am a man???
Kambuli is a name of a female..What kind of a man would call his name Kambuli
Re: How to allow your husband to have a second wife
Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 3:47 am
by salool
Ha iska tage iska dhaaf, muxuu kaala tagiy waxaan khuuro iyo dhib aheyn.Ka bacdi weekend husband adna ku qabo.
Re: How to allow your husband to have a second wife
Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 4:29 am
by fisabililah
In the west its hard to pull it off, actually to maintain it is the hard bit. I knew one guy who had 4 wives at one point he was considered a 'legend', several years later he has no wives. In the west the women doesnt need the man in terms of financial support, so they will never be dependent. Obviously in the muslim countries this aint the case, if you have five kids with a man if you ask for a divorce where are you gonnah get the rice to feed them.
If your man enough though,and willing to take the responsibility go for it. Im going Hargeisa this summer i might look for a second one.
Re: How to allow your husband to have a second wife
Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 5:09 am
by Enlightened~Sista
^ How can you think about having another wife in another country?
Re: How to allow your husband to have a second wife
Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 6:07 am
by Tuushi
hyperactive wrote:horta kol ka hore nin helba. marka worry about if marries second wife!! war moog ba tahay. in nin la'an jirtaba ma ogid!
Like he is even likely to tell u ahead of time.
Re: How to allow your husband to have a second wife
Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 6:18 am
by daiman
Hyperactive is very funny
anyway, if I marry someone I like he is free to go or take another wife after ten years but not before. But also the minute he gets married he has to divorce me. May be I should make a condition to the marriage--automatic divorce after second wife.
Re: How to allow your husband to have a second wife
Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 7:32 am
by Enlightened~Sista
^You don't have to worry about putting that clause into your contract. Somali men never deal equitably with their wives. They almost always neglect or totally forget about their first wives and their children. If a husband isn't just or he has been away from home for more than four months, you will get an automatic Khul'3 {annulment} from an Islamic Qadi.
The men who are into polygamy are usually:
1) Traditional Somali men who are often poorly educated
2) Older men
3) Salafis/Ikhawanis aka Gadhweynayaal.
Avoid these three types and you will be fine.
Re: How to allow your husband to have a second wife
Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 7:47 am
by Executive
Enlightened~Sista wrote:^You don't have to worry about putting that clause into your contract. Somali men never deal equitably with their wives. They almost always neglect or totally forget about their first wives and their children. If a husband isn't just or he has been away from home for more than four months, you will get an automatic Khul'3 {annulment} from an Islamic Qadi.
The men who are into polygamy are usually:
1) Traditional Somali men who are often poorly educated
2) Older men
3) Salafis/Ikhawanis aka Gadhweynayaal.
Avoid these three types and you will be fine.
You seem to know very little about Somali men if you believe those are the types who would most likely marry a second wife
Most been that marry a 2nd wife these days are neither old, traditional or particularly religious.