The kiss that blew it

[Lillaahiya]

Good read

[Lamagoodle]

Twistow, saaxib beryahaan fasax dheer ayaan ku jirey. I had no access to life's modernity. Summer cottage ayaan deganaa.

Adiga ii waran? qaraabada, deriska iyo tolka ma noolo?

Veiled, Yaqshid aa? Iska ilaali isha dadka ileen waxaad tahay gabar qurux badane. Aaway waxaan kuu direy? soo ma ahayn inaan Xamar isu raacano oo aan isa soo habeeyno? Waxaa ku tabay qalbiga qaali luuleey!

Barbarossa LOL@@@@@@@ ceebaheena Allah ha asturo

Deeqo, Ismaciil, Barbossa and Abukar; part two on your screen in a few minutes.

[Lamagoodle]

Part two; confusion and anxiety

Although there were some signs of modernity (e.g. Mobile phones, radios, men wearing trousers instead of macaawis and women wearing baati instead of the guntino) much remained as they were decades ago.

This is conservative country where dhaqan dictated life and death.

Among the many xeers was the noble somali culture of “ininiyaal” which basically means the newlyweds would live in the vicinity of the bride’s family until a son/daughter is born. This was still potent in that village although urbanisation is challenging it.

The underlying philosophy of the Ininiyaal phenomenon is this; the young bride needs to learn the art of being a wife and motherhood, before she is taken to her in-laws; she needs to learn to cook, to cherish his supremacy etc.

In addition, inexperience necessitates learning; she should learn how to manage morning sickness during the first walac/heestimo; how to manage labour, childbirth etc.

Vomiting infront of the reer xidid is a taboo.

Thus, the aqal hoori for the newlyweds was a few meters from the main hoori of the inlaws. Custom has it that the mother in-law prepares oodka that lasts days. Oodka that will be consumed by the groom; it is a man's world when it comes to food consumption.

The women are given left-overs (hambo)

During the first days – at least the first week- visitors seldom visit the hoori of the newlyweds. Give them time and space is the mantra.

The bride is expected to be in her room. Nobody- not even her husband, should see her answering nature's call. In addition, not even the husband should see her eat.

She should look down when addressed. If she laughs, raises her voice or is seen eating or attending to nature's call, she will be dubbed "naag xumaatay" in the absence of other words; Sharmuuto and love are reer magaal words.

Tradition, custom and culture dictated that the mother in-law will at dawn stand near the hoori entrance and signal her presence either by coughing or by shouting falsely to the goats (yac, yac). The bride will then come out and get the shah.

Even reer baadiye/miyi’s have anecdotes and one of them evolves what happens during the first days of marriage.

In the good old days, the narratives go, it was common to have white bed sheets on the bed of the groom (yes, there were separate beds because it is a shame to sleep together even for married couples). The white sheet is a marker of success for both parties; blood on them the morning after signifies two things;1) the bride kept her virginity as expected and 2) the groom was man enough.

The yarn holds further that in the morning there is commotion; local gossip aunts are at work to see if the endeavour was successful; if the bride is chaste and if the groom performed accordingly, the whole village will know.

The mother-in-law’s presence at the hoori door is to spy and see whether there will be shame or fame.
If there is success, she will take the bloodstained sheet and engage in Carab-dhaw/alaleeys frenzy which will be heard throughout the village.

The other mother-in-law although keeping her distance from the newlyweds will equally be glad.

It is from the above context that Meymuna ran from the hoori after the failed kiss. She ran to her mother’s hoori crying and shouting “hooyo, Hooyo”. Her father was just finishing salatul-leyl thanking Allah for the marriage of his daughter when Meymuna rushed past him.

Were the newlyweds attacked by a lion? he wondereded. Without identifying the root cause of the problem, he took his waran and went to the hoori of the newlyweds.

The bride fell into the arms of her mother, mamma Cambaro. Meymuuma could not articulate what transpired. The only words she still managed were “hooyoy waa gaal”.

Bismilaahi, bal is deji. Waa maxay gaalka aad sheegeeysid? Aaway Maleele? The mom was concerned that if something happened to her son-in-law, her daughter will become garoob at the tender age of 17!

A garoob! The whole tol will be stigmatised; no husband for her other daughters. There will be no wives for her sons. She also risks being abandoned by her husband. He will find a younger wife who will give him sons.

Although it had been reported that Garoobs are blessed by the prophet, the belief in this village was Garoob=qashin.

Meanwhile, Maleele was in a state of chock; what happened? What did he do wrong?

There must be a reason as to why Meymuuna called him gaal and left the hoori he rationalised. Perhaps it is because of bad breath. Perhaps it is because of his age. Or even more sinister it could be his size because he was chubby (little did he know that in this village chubbiness is viewed as being wealthy).

He engaged in a long thought process and concluded that although he was only showing affection, Meymuna might have interpreted his move wrongly. He had previously studied psychology and could relate to the trauma of rape, the unwilling wife syndrome, sexual woes etc.

When Meymuna rushed out of the hoori, he started sweating

He hoped that this will be a short sojourn and that she will be back in due course. He will them hold her tight, caress her hair and ka-daro-dibi-dal give her the so called French kiss which he read about in novels and saw in movie scenes .

When he heard his mother-in-law yelling “bismillahi! “naa maxaa kugu dhacay?” he realised that the waiting will be long.

He left the hoori just in time before his father-in-law with his waran approached the hoori.

Regardless of your age, you feel young as long as your parents are alive. Men are generally Mamma’s boys ( Freud had some valid points). So, Maleele ran to his mother’s hoori and without knocking he sat on his parent’s bed.

Hooyo, hooyo, he shouted. His mother, father and his little brother, Gacal were in a deep asleep after weeks of preparation for the wedding.

All of them woke up and yelled “bismillaahi? “ Mamma Arliyo’s mother instinct told her that not all was well and that the issue at hand had to do with the marriage.

Mamma Arliyo guessed that it is Meymuuna’s fault; she was perhaps not a virgin! She engaged perhaps in ceebs ( e.g. farted) . she never reasoned that it could be her son’s fault ! How could her generous, educated, rich, handsome and young son fault? It was out of the question.

It was those horrible inlaws who sold them a pig in a black bag!

Already at this stage she regretted the marriage; if only her husband would have listened to her to wed Maleele with her nieces!!!

By now, Maleel’s dad , Geele, was shouting; war nin rag iska dhigoow, inoo sheeg wax ku helay?

On noticing Maleel’s tears, Geele said “War ileen waxu waa nacas !” and looked irritably at the mamma Arliyo signalling that she made his son a softie!.

“Aabo, Meymuuna iga carartay” said Maleele.

In a synchronised voice they asked “iga carartay aa?

Haa replied Maleele who by now was acting as if he was 5 years.

What happened they asked? No, answer? War inoo sheeg wixii dhacay`?
“ma aqaani, waay carartay un”.

Mamma Arliyo and aabo Geele in a choreographed manner smiled and said “ oo ma waxaad na leedahay waxaan gurigeeya ugu soo caray xaaskii baa iga tagtay?”

Aabo Geele; war anagaa bilaayo aragnay!!!!!!

Meanwhile about 400 meters at the hoori of Muumin and Cambaro, Meymuuma was crying and still murmuring “waa gaal”.

To be continued if the esteemed visitors to this site request part 3;

[Lillaahiya]

[Keyblade]

Borderline schizo, sorta fine tits tho

[QaaliDumar]

Waa sheeko xiiso leh! Hanagu kala gooynine qeybta sadexaad inoo wad

[BlackVelvet]

You should pursue this line of work. I'd be more than willing to buy the book

Good to have you back Lama btw adiga iyo Warsan waad isla soo noqoteen ...

[Ismail87]

Waits for part 3..

[barbarossa]

Lamo, how can you consciously leave us hanging like this? The suspense is killing us. On with the third part of this rather absorbing story of yours, por favor.

[Marques]

Love it.

[SecretAgent]

Readin dis feels like am watchin a movie

[Lamagoodle]

Zeliha,SecretAgent, Barbarossa, Ismaciil, Jasmin, Abakar, Lilaahiya : I am glad that you are enjoying the story.

Keyblade, non capisco quello che hai scritto.

Jasmine6; Thanks inadeer; yes, she appeared out of the blues. qalbiga ayaan iska jecelnahay . Waa qof ceesh calaa ah:lol:




Part 3: Problem identification

Meymuna’s mother - Cambaro- was on the brink of a mental breakdown; on the one hand she wanted to confront her daughter while on the other, mindful of the ”shame” that this issue might bring with it she was profoundly worried.

She thought that she will be remembered as the unfit mother. The mother who dishonoured the family, the toll and the village.

She risked becoming a “bahweyn” and demoted to play second fiddle to a new wife; Mumin, her husband, will certainly marry a younger woman. He will probably move to another village with the kids and his wealth. Her life will be one of misery. Her network of friends will abandon her; her family will disown her, since an association with her, will entail shame; Her children, niences, nephews and all her qaraabos will be without husbands and wives.

Mumin was back in the hoori having found no lion. In a loud voice, he shouted “naa islaan yahay, maxaa helay reerka”?

She answered that it was probably something to do with the groom.

Maymuna is crying but not talking.

Mumin – Meymuna’s father- was one the most respected persons in the whole village. Only Macalin Jilicow and Sheikh Macow – the pillars of society- commanded more respect than him. He was, the man, to come to settle disputes. He spotted “xena” on his beard ever since coming from Hajj to Mecca. He carried the tusbax wherever he went and started every sentence with “Bismillahi”. He was also very generous; every Friday morning he shaved the heads of young men. He dug three wells and was in the process of building the mowlac into a misaajid.

To Mumin, reputation was not the first thing in his mind. He had plenty of that. He had no luggage in the shame department.

Rather, it was the conundrum of the night; what is the reason that made Meymuna to leave her hoori during the first night?

He told himself that Meymuna situation could be explained by the fear of leaving home. Probably, his daughter got what the reer magaal’s from southern somalia call “Febero Kaambo” (cold feet) . If that is the case, he reasoned, the commotion will be over in a few minutes. Cambaro will talk to Meymuna about how to respond to male needs.

He recalled how Cambaro was during the first night of their marriage. She did not open her mouth for the whole night despite repeated attempts; she slept in the other bed.

He gave her time. A wise man knows how to handle the unknowns.

It was the second night of the wedding that they spoke; he was very shrewd and to break the ice he had asked him to join him in a duca to bless the new family. He then suggest an introduction ; he started by telling her about his time as a camel herder, on the long periods of draught (emphasizing abaartii dabadheer) and his first visits to the nearest city;

She smiled when he mentioned the houses, the cars, and the tarmacked roads. By the time he told her about how city dwellers used a room in the building as a toilet and his experience with it, she was laughing.

When it was her turn, to introduce herself, she used few words to describe the way she reared the waxaro, her family etc.

Nothing novel or funny about what he was hearing but he smiled and giggled at every sentence she said.

Waa nin naagaha si loola dhaqmo yaqaano

But these were different times; the young today do not live in isolation. There is something called telephone which has replaced the buun, i.e the village microphone made from dead snails. Today’s youngsters are not introduced to the reer miyi lives. They are lazy, they do not have manners.

Also the womenfolk have changed; their voices can be heard across fences. They are seen eating food and worst of all, they are asking for money to buy things like barafuun, cadar, uunsi etc.

An old man once remarked when told about women asking for money; waaba naage ee maxaay dahab ku falayaan! Waa aduunyo gudoon!

Thank Allah, the love of dahab has not reached the village yet… but it is a question of time.

Mamma Cambaro asked Meymuna; hooyo aaway Maleele? fearing that something sinister had happened to him;

Ma caafimaad qabaa asked Mumin; haa said Meymuna.

By now, it was apparent to her parents that there was no danger posed from lions; that no one is hurt; that the situation probably evolves on a family feud which can be settled soon.

“Waa hagaag , waxaan arrintaan guda galeeynaa berrito hadduu eebe idmo” decreed Mumin

This abrupt decision was based on one xeer; Sabeen which is the first stage of conflict resolutions. When a woman “runs” from her home, it is the obligation of the husband’s family to come with a sabeen. Usually, it is the nearest of kin (uncles) who come to the in-laws home with a sheep (nowadays money is the norm but should be accompanied by two kilos of sugar and tea leaves) .

The husband’s family always accepts responsibility and the matter is settled.

Akhristow, the snooping mind is by now wondering why Meymuna used the term “gaal” to describe Maleele’s attempted kiss.

There is no mystery here; nearly five years ago when Meymuna was minding the Waxaro, something happened in this village:She met Dicis, her cousin who was sent to the village for what the adults were calling “dhaqan celis”. Dicis was about the same age as her and quickly became the clown of the village. In broken Somali, he told them stories about movies and music; about airplanes, about white people etc. On one of these occasions, he talked about how the gaalo engaged into a mouth-to-mouth exercise . The young boys and girls yelled “uuf” when he used words such as “dhuuqid” and “leefid”.

His vocabulary was limited so he was very explicit.

Dicis was the son of uncle Wardheere, who left for the nearest magaalo years back and finally ended up in the UK. To many in the village, this move was not a prudent one; why should one go to dhul gaalo when there is plenty here ( the rains have been falling, there is pasture).

Moreover, a few years ago, the Imam of the village mosque sheikh Macow, in one of the Friday sermons told his congregation about Gaalo lives; thy are not “dhaahir” because kaadida iskama dhiqaan; yuubka lagama jerin, ma istinjoodaan, naagahooda hagoog ma xirtaan; surwaalo ayaay xirtaan he told the audience.

In the normal circumstance, what is said in the misaajid would have stayed there, but, a few months back Mumin bought a microphone when he did the Hajj. So, nowadays the Friday sermon can also be heard by women and children.

Imaam Macow mentioned that the gaalos engaged in “af iska dhuuqis” whereby the congregation busted “inaa lilaahi”.

The women who were listening to the sermon were chocked; uuf, ma huurada! they shouted!

Meanwhile, Maleele was not saying a word to his parents! How could he? How do you tell your folks about a failed “kiss”.
Repeated attempts by Geele and Arliyo failed. All Maleele managed to utter was “waay baxday”. “ma ogi sababta” etc.

“Nacas” “Naanab” “ Doqon” were frequently used to make him tell the truth but in vain.

At almost 3 am, when the donkeys were about to bray, Geele announced; “Ok, go back to your hoori and let us discuss this issue tomorrow. We shall take sabeen to your inlaws tomorrow but we need to identify the problem.”

Maleele left for his hoori. On the way, he met Caraweelo- the village gossip and agony aunt. Caraweelo is the oldest woman in the village; some people call her a witch while women in particular view her as a special correspondent for the village “waxaa la sheegey Times).

Caraweelo has the ability to get her tabloid news from different sources; jealous women, disgruntled divorcees and sometimes dhoocilos etc.

On noticing Maleele this late in the night, Caraweelo knew that something was fishy; that she made the scoop of her life.
She theorised the reason the groom was out late in the night was because Meymuma was not a virgin.

It is always the woman’s fault in this village; men do not error.

“Maleele, habaryar, maxaa ku helay? “ She asked in a sympathetic voice.

Maleele was naïve to believe that everyone in this village was trust worthy. Particularly when someone addresses you, using terms such as “eedo, habaryar, adeer, abti).

He never supposed that rumour mills are everywhere; that some issues should not be spread, that Caraweelo is like the National Enquirer.

“Eedo, Meymuna ayaa iga caratay?” Maleele replied to her question.

“Oo maxaay la caratay? Ma dishi”, she asked further.

“Maya eedo, gaal ayaay iigu yeertay, iyadoo ooyneeyso ayaayna carartay”, he replied.

To be continued.

Don’t forget to tune in into the grand finale (the resolution) in a few days…

[Grant]

Loving it. Any progress on the research into the Qadiri Jama'as?

[Lamagoodle]

Loving it. Any progress on the research into the Qadiri Jama'as?

Great to know that you are loving the story. I bet you are familiar with the setting of the story.

Yes, I have made some progress; I met the grandson of Sheikh Nuur Hussein ( who initiated the fraternity/brotherhood) in Jilib and he gave me some useful info which I will share with you in due course.

[Ismail87]

Imaam Macow mentioned that the gaalos engaged in “af iska dhuuqis” whereby the congregation busted “inaa lilaahi”.

The women who were listening to the sermon were chocked; uuf, ma huurada! they shouted!