Outcomes from the 2015 election

[Methylamine]

After living here all my life, I think I've gotten used to it
Canada is alright, between May and August is when we get Australian weather lol. I live in Ottawa, but Toronto and Vancouver are the places to visit if you wanna have a good time. I think SelfD would be willing to give a tour

[HooBariiska]

haye, ama holla at her

[ManD333q]

After gathering some useful infromation from the current events in the motherland and on these forums, here are the outcomes for Somaliland depending on who wins the election.


If Wadani wins...
- All appears well in the thriving nation, however after the party took full control of the popular station Radio Hargeisa, many Somalilanders begin to suffer from thoughts of unity. It is later discovered that President Cirro had obtained a Ph.D. in Psychology with specialization in Mind Control
- Somalinet user HooBariiska is ranked #4 in the prestige Forbes Richest Men in the World list. When the New Hargeisa native was asked by a Melbourne reporter on how he accumulated such wealth, HooBariiska replied "who the fok are you?"

[HooBariiska]

^^ maandeeq I missed u inadeer....aadbaan kuu salaamay.....salaan sare oo aan Go'a hayn

[ManD333q]

Salaan sare inadeer sow iskama fiicnid?

[Methylamine]

After gathering some useful infromation from the current events in the motherland and on these forums, here are the outcomes for Somaliland depending on who wins the election.

If Kulmiye wins...
- Somalinet user skywalker25 continues to boast about his clan's achievements, which further enrages user BoholKing, causing a large bloodbath in the streets of Burco, resulting in the horrifying death of mayoral candidate Hodan94
- The newly appointed vice-president Hirsi Ali Hassan orders the mass executions of citizens who are over the height of 4'8". When asked why he would do such a thing, he responds by saying that he wanted to "fit in with the crowd"
- The "ilkacas" syndrome, which was previously confined to the Togdheer region, becomes rampant throughout the nation. One dentist in the upscale JigJiga-Yar neighbourhood of Hargeisa, one of the hardest hit areas in the country, reports that booking a root canal operation at his clinic may take years.
- Despite approaching his mid 80s, president Ahmed Mahamoud Silanyo is caught on video dancing lewdly to an Ikran Arale song at the controversial Crown Hotel in North Hargeisa. While he does admit that it was him on video, Mr. Silanyo tells reporters that he was in a "mirqaan stupor"
- Oil is discovered under this administration, however by the time petroleum companies arrive to the region, they notice that most of the reserves have been extracted. In unrelated news, many teenagers in the town of Caynabo are seen driving high-end Range Rovers and are "making it rain" at the local banquet halls

If UCID wins...
- Anti-Somalia sentiment reaches an all-time high in the area and chairman Faisal Ali Waraabe finally puts his engineering degree to use and develops a large drone intended on striking the Somali capital of Mogadishu. Unfortunately, Mr. Waraabe's lack of sophistication leads to the miscalculation of his missile and the drone lands in the established Hargeisa neighbourhood of Dumbuluq. When told about this incident, Mr. Waraabe responded to media by saying "shiid"
- Khat baron Ina Afdinle is named Minister of Agriculture and halts all imports of produce into the country unless it is stamped "571"
- After the European Union pledges 10 billion euros to the semi-autonomous nation, Somalinet user Methylamine reports receiving large sums of money in the mail from an unknown sender marked "tolka"
- Faisal Ali Waraabe, who is known for wild antics, is caught in Ambassador Hotel screaming obscene expletives while stumbling across many tables, frightening many patrons. Waraabe later states in a national press conference that it was "just another day at the office"
- When told that Jamal Ali Hussein was the president, 78% of Somalilanders did not know who he was

If Wadani wins...
- All appears well in the thriving nation, however after the party took full control of the popular station Radio Hargeisa, many Somalilanders begin to suffer from thoughts of unity. It is later discovered that President Cirro had obtained a Ph.D. in Psychology with specialization in Mind Control
- Somalinet user HooBariiska is ranked #4 in the prestige Forbes Richest Men in the World list. When the New Hargeisa native was asked by a Melbourne reporter on how he accumulated such wealth, HooBariiska replied "who the fok are you?"

From the looks of things, I might be right on the money

[YummyMummy]

I noticed you have less to say about each party as you go down the list, why?
Als, would you add any more analysis since recent events, and perhaps closer to the elections?

[Methylamine]

I noticed you have less to say about each party as you go down the list, why?
Als, would you add any more analysis since recent events, and perhaps closer to the elections?

Ina adeer I tried my best to be as impartial as possible, I pledge no allegiance to these parties (well maybe UCID for nepotism purposes but that's another story). The reason why I talked about Kulmiye the most is because they're in power at the moment and are constantly talked about on here and in the media. Wadani tbh I don't know much about even after the latest political "fiasco". And UCID is just a never-ending running gag thanks to Faisal Ali Waraabe.

I don't have the time to make more analysis at the moment, but this thread is open for everybody's input (no qabyaalad please)

[SayyidUmar]

I noticed you have less to say about each party as you go down the list, why?

cagadan waa, pseudo-qabiilist. dont be shy just come out with it. we all know what u r insinuating at.lol

[YummyMummy]

Yes I am

[SayyidUmar]

thats good for you, just be honest about it. cagadaha should not get into somali politics.

[theyuusuf143]

Waraabe finally puts his engineering degree to use and develops a large drone intended on striking the Somali capital of Mogadishu. Unfortunately, Mr. Waraabe's lack of
sophistication leads to the miscalculation of
his missile and the drone lands in the
established Hargeisa neighbourhood of
Dumbuluq. When told about this incident, Mr.
Waraabe responded to media by saying
"shiid"

Faysal will defenitely push war on somalia especily garowe if his party wins, unfortunately his crazy miscalculation could backfire himself. kkkkkkkk.

[HooBariiska]

this was a funny post, where is Methylamine, i missed that niqqa

[SuldaanMaplesyrup]

[kanadiid90]

that UCID part killed me along with ilko cas syndrome
thanks for the laugh mate