SomaliNet Forums

I've signed up for those registries a couple of times. I'm not that ingenious in the art of gift giving so I settle for giving a gift card with a handsome sum. I hate Tupperware, linens and things. Lingerie is a no no, it's not a stag party is it? *Kidding*

sophisticate wrote:I've signed up for those registries a couple of times. I'm not that ingenious in the art of gift giving so I settle for giving a gift card with a handsome sum. I hate Tupperware, linens and things. Lingerie is a no no, it's not a stag party is it? *Kidding*

lingerie is for the wedding shower...among the girls. It would be weird if your other guests (like aunties or friends of your parents) giving you lingerie.

DeeqaDagan wrote:Lam, you know some Somalis, financially unstable, get married through qaaraan

Somali marriages =joke

It is a show.

I wonder how one can marry without a penny! Many borrow money to marry and spend it on a show. Many marriages fail because of this.

what happened to afar faataxo, laba marqaati and the kitaab as meher?

Self D; why should you incur expenses to marry? You could save alot of money if you just organised a simple ceremony; two kilos of rice, cheap chicken and sambusas, second hand furniture and your meher is kitaab quran.

JaalleMarx wrote:

DeeqaDagan wrote:Lam, you know some Somalis, financially unstable, get married through qaaraan

Somali marriages =joke

It is a show.

I wonder how one can marry without a penny! Many borrow money to marry and spend it on a show. Many marriages fail because of this.

what happened to afar faataxo, laba marqaati and the kitaab as meher?

Self D; why should you incur expenses to marry? You could save alot of money if you just organised a simple ceremony; two kilos of rice, cheap chicken and sambusas, second hand furniture and your meher is kitaab quran.

SECOND HAND FURNITURE???? HELL NO!

JaalleMarx wrote: what happened to afar faataxo, laba marqaati and the kitaab as meher?

Gabadhii beeso socoto ee noqotay. Saxiibteed nin lacag leh arooska oo u dhigay in loo dhigo maahinoo iyadane?
Widaaygeed waxba ma haaysto marka qaaraan in la raadsho waaye

Self D, I am assuming that you are still young. If you want to have a happy marriage, the keyword is savings. There is a relationship between how long marriages last and the cost of wedding.

Do not fall for the nonsense of the newly arrived people or the diaspora losers who have never worked. In their world, weddings are the only place where you can become someone. In the mind of the smart, weddings are ceremonies for future happiness.

Deeqa LOOOL. Dadka aan saas cilmiga u lahayn ayaa kharash ku bixiya arooska. It is a question of class; our trash class are superficial wedding goers. Mid aan qaraabo nahay aroos kasta waay joogtaa; waxaa loo bixiyey DAHABLEEY maadaama aay aroos kaste ku tagto dahab cusub. Walaahi, if there is no wedding for a month, she tries to act as a match maker just for the sake of the wedding.

JaalleMarx wrote:Mid aan qaraabo nahay aroos kasta waay joogtaa; waxaa loo bixiyey DAHABLEEY maadaama aay aroos kaste ku tagto dahab cusub. Walaahi, if there is no wedding for a month, she tries to act as a match maker just for the sake of the wedding.

Ilaahey ha u naxariisto kuwaas oo la isku match gareynaayo

JaalleMarx wrote:Self D, I am assuming that you are still young. If you want to have a happy marriage, the keyword is savings. There is a relationship between how long marriages last and the cost of wedding.

Do not fall for the nonsense of the newly arrived people or the diaspora losers who have never worked. In their world, weddings are the only place where you can become someone. In the mind of the smart, weddings are ceremonies for future happiness.

Deeqa LOOOL. Dadka aan saas cilmiga u lahayn ayaa kharash ku bixiya arooska. It is a question of class; our trash class are superficial wedding goers. Mid aan qaraabo nahay aroos kasta waay joogtaa; waxaa loo bixiyey DAHABLEEY maadaama aay aroos kaste ku tagto dahab cusub. Walaahi, if there is no wedding for a month, she tries to act as a match maker just for the sake of the wedding.

True, in Islam it is encourage to not put financial strain on the groom/wedding. As in, less $$$ more barakha in the marriage. But Jaalle, I have seen some that asked for nothing in their meher and didnt have any wedding party done and those sisters still ended up in shitty marriage (cheating/abusive spouse). Honestly, if your getting married do whats best for you, if u want $ and jewels, then ask for it. Cuz tmr, when ur marriage crumbles, at least you walk away with something.

Deeqa, I have discovered that more and more somali women in the diaspora care more about the wedding than the marriage itself.

SelfD; it is not about walking away with something. It is about selecting an intelligent husband/wife. I know that there is selection mechanism involved; too many of our people are not that intelligent and have a primitive mindset. My advice to you- young people- is this; get a good education, a good job and save enough money; marry someone of your standing; good education, good job etc. In that case, if the marry fails, you don't fail financially. I wonder how one can marry without a job? If both of you have good education and jobs, you can plan and discard the pressure of holding an expensive marriage.

The problem as I see is this; there is uneveness in the marriages that fail in terms of education and career. Superficial people love the present; weddings. Intelligent people think about the future.

Marx

Kindly stop generalizing diaspora women. You have been warned.

SummerRain wrote:Marx

Kindly stop generalizing diaspora women. You have been warned.

I am sorry walaasheey qaaliga ah. Actually, the generalisation was towards both men and women. My focus is on education and careers. I sincerely believe that education is the key to enlighting our people. Our society has become a superficial society that is concerned with useless things in life; videos of weddings, bragging about the costs and expenses of weddings. In this context, at least from the diaspora perspective, women are doing better than me. I wrote a thread on the possible imbalances

viewtopic.php?f=18&t=344448

JaalleMarx wrote:

SummerRain wrote:Marx

Kindly stop generalizing diaspora women. You have been warned.

I am sorry walaasheey qaaliga ah. Actually, the generalisation was towards both men and women. My focus is on education and careers. I sincerely believe that education is the key to enlighting our people. Our society has become a superficial society that is concerned with useless things in life; videos of weddings, bragging about the costs and expenses of weddings. In this context, at least from the diaspora perspective, women are doing better than me. I wrote a thread on the possible imbalances

viewtopic.php?f=18&t=344448

Fair enough. It seemed to me you were being harsher on females. I agree with you. But even with education, I question what that is exactly that leads to the enlightenment we need. I gave my two cents on your topic. I think it's more than just graduating college but rather having skills to engage as an adult in society.

SummerRain, you could be right but still education is the light that shines the horisons. We have alot of somalis (boys, in particular) who do not make past high school. Somalis shun honourable blue collar skills. Education is what can take us out of the darkness we are subjected to. Without education, we become victims of social constructions (maxaa la sheegey and waan daadshe discourse).

Habeen wanaagsan dhamaantiina.

A book about how to avoid divorce.

salool wrote:A book about how to avoid divorce.

I was gonna say 'why bother since almost all Somali marriages fail' til I saw this