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Re: The 50/50 Generation.
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 11:43 am
by MissFiora
And i love how selective they are too in term of the deen.
Weren't you the one saying you aint ready to wear the hijab as if you had a notice of exactly when you will die.
and now that you approaching menopause you want to beat the brothers over the head with quotations that applies to your situation.
God bless you my sister
you made me laught
[/quote]
I never said I wasn't ready to wear hijab..where are you getting this from? Perhaps you're confusing me with someone else
Re: The 50/50 Generation.
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 11:52 am
by MissFiora
[quote="AbdiJohnson"]Most Somali mothers work and pay the bills and raise their kids at the same time. Why can't you? Why should only the husband take care of the family financially? Two incomes should be coming into the house when you have children
You won't find a husband that will carry you. They want an independent woman, someone who will be able to take care of the household if he were to die or get injured or something.
If your kids see you just sitting at home, they will become lazy and unmotivated.
Hi there Mr Johnson, I am more than capable of taking care of myself Alhamdulilah. If I am not mistaken it's a man's role to provide for his family, the woman's role is to tend to her family and to take care of 'em. I believe a lot of social ills exist in today's society because we have abandoned our traditional roles.
Re: The 50/50 Generation.
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:07 pm
by Julkimi
Shaking my head at all these men excusing themselves.
My father earned the most bread, he took care of his kids and his wife, his relatives, my maternal relatives and then some. My father never questioned my mom's paycheck. She went to college and got a job all while my father still brought the bread. After my mom got a steady job, he told her to support her relatives, and she would spoil us with things
. And he still took care of his kids. Real men like my daddy don't exist no more. Now you have men asking the women to work twice as hard while they sit at home. Basically if you want to be the bitch in the relationship say so. But don't give me the 50/50 crap.
I want my man to be the head of the house. While I keep my paycheck to myself, for saving and emergency stuff.
Re: The 50/50 Generation.
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:14 pm
by MrPrestige
Well he has a right to ask you why should I invest in you. Not all women are created equal, they have different qualities. If a woman is of high
quality she is worth the investment, if she is low quality then you will have to lower the investment.
Re: The 50/50 Generation.
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:16 pm
by SultanOrder
Julkimi wrote:Shaking my head at all these men excusing themselves.
My father earned the most bread, he took care of his kids and his wife, his relatives, my maternal relatives and then some. My father never questioned my mom's paycheck. She went to college and got a job all while my father still brought the bread. After my mom got a steady job, he told her to support her relatives, and she would spoil us with things
. And he still took care of his kids. Real men like my daddy don't exist no more. Now you have men asking the women to work twice as hard while they sit at home. Basically if you want to be the bitch in the relationship say so. But don't give me the 50/50 crap.
I want my man to be the head of the house.
While I keep my paycheck to myself, for saving and emergency stuff.
Re: The 50/50 Generation.
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:17 pm
by visious
everybody can do whatever they want ...
but my wife must have a job. she is not gonna sit around do nothing and leech on all of my hard earned money
we are gonna split everything up.
she is gonna keep some part of her income while I do the same. most of our income goes into our family.
low living standards wont be tolerated.
she can also do chores half the week while i do the rest.
no room for being lazy and growing fat + gross over my money
Re: The 50/50 Generation.
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:21 pm
by Julkimi
Perfect_Order wrote:
Don't worry. I will also invest in a monthly gym, organic diet, hair salons, manicure, pedicure. It's a job itself being a woman.
Re: The 50/50 Generation.
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:26 pm
by grandpakhalif
im not
Re: The 50/50 Generation.
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:29 pm
by Vivacious
Julkimi wrote:
It's a job itself being a woman.
Tell him
Re: The 50/50 Generation.
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:45 pm
by MissFiora
Julkimi men like your fathers are rare to come by nowadays. A lot of young men grew up in households where they see their mothers struggling carrying the financial as well as the household burden on her own and they expect you to do the same. Hooyadi baa so xamaalan jirtey waxuu doonaya naag xamalato. NO I say!
Re: The 50/50 Generation.
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 1:14 pm
by DisplacedDiraac
Julkimi wrote:Real men like my daddy don't exist no more.
They do exist... Difficult to find but they are still out there
It works both ways though. A lot of women want a man who does this and that, makes x amount etc yet they themselves fail to play their role.
Re: The 50/50 Generation.
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 1:42 pm
by jalaaludin5
missBonita
May Allah give you what your heart desire walaal.
Re: The 50/50 Generation.
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 1:45 pm
by Adali
DisplacedDiraac wrote:Julkimi wrote:Real men like my daddy don't exist no more.
They do exist... Difficult to find but they are still out there
It works both ways though. A lot of women want a man who does this and that, makes x amount etc yet they themselves fail to play their role.
by real me you mean someone who provides.
That is not hard, I buy food she cooks it, I buy detergent she washes etc
I like that set up, I don't need stressed out xalima who works 9to5.
Re: The 50/50 Generation.
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 2:03 pm
by BlackVelvet
MissBonita wrote:I've been entertaining a lot of suitors as of late, because the ticking of my biological clock is getting louder. As most of you are aware the courtship process involves sharing ideas about what makes a good spouse and what an ideal marriage looks like. Now, based on a small sample ( my suitors) I have to say, my Somali brothers have lost the plot.
Over Moroccan couscous I had a brother ask me with a straight face "why should I invest in you?" ( Mind you this was our first date). Another brother informed me that he wants his wife to work, she has no choice in the matter and that everything in the marriage will be 50/50. I was also put on notice that this 50/50 rule is also applied during the courtship phase, and that it didn't just apply to money but also who initiates dates, who calls who etc.
Thanks to the societies we live in, we have this 'what can you do for me?' mentality and approach to relationships and marriage. I am an old fashion gal I believe women and men have different roles. We all need to find out what our job descriptions entails, we also need to focus on fulfilling the obligations to others before we start demanding that they fulfill ours.
Allah says: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because of what Allah has preferred one with over the other and because of what they spend to support them from their wealth.” [Sûrah al-Nisâ’: 34]
To the men you are our protectors and maintainers, as women our job is to serve and be loyal to you.
I say we ditch the 50/50 approach ...scorekeeping? ain't nobody got time fo' dat!, lets us all work towards this:
And among His Signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." [Sûrah Rûm: 21]
Re: The 50/50 Generation.
Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 2:08 pm
by MissFiora
Lmao Jasmine u were with me until the "serve part".
Adali u are a good man.