Marriage: Compromise vs. Submission

[AbdiWahab252]

There is no such concept of compromise in a marriage. The husband is the head of the household. His wife is his queen who has an advisory role in the house and supreme overlordship of the children. A house which doesn't have a man as the head of the household tend to fail.

[LightAtNight]

@AbdiWahab252
Remember being head of the house doesn't mean amar taaglayn or tyranny

[AbdiWahab252]

MuslimStruggler,

I am not for tyranny but in my humble opinion and experience with Somali women is that you need to be very firm and keep them in line. As you get to know them more and build confidence, you loosen the rope.

[AgentOfChaos]

What is the difference really between compromising and submitting in a relationship?

Compromise is a tool used by people who want to come together as one and finding a middle ground on things and its a never f-king ending process in relationships, one which that's very important when two people are living under one roof. Of course people shouldn't compromise on things that goes against who they are as a person to a point that they no longer recognize themselves. But know that if compromise ends, so does the relationship, now it just becomes shitty one way street called Submissionville, and that's just recipe of disaster.

When you take away the connotations one being positive and the other negative, aren't they by and large the same thing?

Sorry to disappoint you but contrary to Feminazi belief compromise isn't submitting or being chained to the kitchen.

If you go into a relationship, do you have any chance of making it if you have strong reservations about allowing someone to have a say which is equal to or perhaps the deciding vote on issues which until that point you had sole responsibility over?

It takes maturity and not being a stuck up to say that two heads are better than one, and that its really advantages to have someone who would shoulder the decision making with you.

Is submitting to someone else's views, priorities, decisions part and parcel of being in a relationship?

Submitting has no place in a relationship.

Is calling it "compromising" just a way of sugar coating having your freedom taken from you in exchange for children/money/companionship or whatever reason you got married?

For the last time no, compromise isn't about taking freedom way, that's submitting. Two different words, two different meaning.

Is it possible to be married while maintaining your sovereignty over your life and decisions.

Of course.

Do you expect your spouse to submit to you and see nothing wrong with it or are you willing to and see nothing wrong with submitting?

Fuck no.

[Estarix]

The power lies with the man, the dominant one, the guardian of the house. Women are to be dominated, that's their nature.

[ciddhartha]

I'm conflicted when it comes to marriage.

At it's essence, it is a power structure like any other. The State is sovereign over the land and its peoples and the father rules the home. So, any feminist should go into marriage with skepticism as to who they are really marrying.

Myself? There are very few things that would have to go a certain way for me to be happy, so I may seem compromising. But if it's something I truly care about, I won't budge for anyone. Principles are principles.

[YummyMummy]

some interesting ideas on this thread, but I feel I have already answered your questions on compromise previously Jasminder

[FarhanYare]

Is it possible to be married while maintaining your sovereignty over your life and decisions

Yes, marriage is about partnership in everything including the decision making process between the spouse. In saying that one have to make compromise in certain situations as my "way or no way" only leads to problems down the line. I think AW said it well.