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Friendship between a nin iyo naag goes against nature, its not normal.

If she got male friends I usually stay away.

Real friendship, without ulterior motives,with someone of the opposite gender is only possible under the condition that both parties are mutually unattracted to each other. This is rarely the case though, because the motivation to getting to know someone of the opposite sex is usually fuelled by some sort of attraction. Not always. but most of the time. Personally im suspicious of guys who befriend women. In my experience I've found most of them do horrible in the dating arena, gossip all day and hate on the guys who actually get girls.

As for having opposite gender friends while married/committed relationship, personally I wouldn't be comfortable with my woman calling up a next nigga and talking about her day. That's just bizarre and frankly disrespectful. If she needs other men in her life she can call her dad, her brother or an uncle. Problem solved.

Jugjugwacwac wrote:Friendship with someone of the opposite gender is only possible under the condition that both parties are mutually unnattracted to each other. This is rarely the case though, because the motivation to getting to know someone of the opposite sex is usually fuelled by some sort of attraction. Not always. but most of the time. Personally im suspicious of guys who befriend women. In my experience I've found most of them do horrible in the dating arena, gossip all day and hate on the guys who actually get girls.

As for having opposite gender friends while married/committed relationship, personally I wouldn't be comfortable with my woman calling up a next nigga and talking about her day. That's just bizarre and frankly disrespectful. If she needs other men in her life she can call her dad, her brother or an uncle. Problem solved.

You can't trust a naag with another man, even if shes ugly, Somalis say " Kas dumar oo kadaloob rag kaaga danbeeyey kaad ku ogayd maaha"

Women will let you down, they are driven by their emotions.

when I die, I want women to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time

Xamud. wrote:
You can't trust a naag with another man, even if shes ugly, Somalis say " Kas dumar oo kadaloob rag kaaga danbeeyey kaad ku ogayd maaha"

Women will let you down, they are driven by their emotions.

when I die, I want women to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time

lool Somalis have the best maahmaah's ninyahow.

I'm glad you got the maahmah, many people wont get it.

I was once a proponent of mutual friends, and though I can only vaguely hold onto the idea, I can appreciate the wisdom in the separation now.

I have friends from the opposite sex.

I believe in opposite sex friends. There are always a set of parameters to work within. We won't be as tight as friends if you are married. Don't tell me your personal business. - in your relationship. I'm not here for you to emotionally cheat with - see a shrink. I help out my friends and if you want a champaign, potential business partner or reference I'm here. The problem is people are self-interested and unwilling to circumvent their individual interests for the maintenance of a platonic relationship. The premise might be - if so and so is such a great catch then why "just be friends". I have a couple reasons. You might not have common values or a similar vision on how you want to live your lives.
Well for one you won't have a scourge of disgruntled Ex-s. You give someone else that has more aligned values with them an opportunity. You could hook them up with a spouse, a job lead for their children in the future. Don't go and burn bridges. Dormant ties are friends you want in your arsenal. When Somalis make the mistake of cutting ties or being selfish it is on them.

sophisticate wrote:I believe in opposite sex friends. There are always a set of parameters to work within. We won't be as tight as friends if you are married. Don't tell me your personal business. - in your relationship. I'm not here for you to emotionally cheat with - see a shrink. I help out my friends and if you want a champaign, potential business partner or reference I'm here. The problem is people are self-interested and unwilling to circumvent their individual interests for the maintenance of a platonic relationship. The premise might be - if so and so is such a great catch then why "just be friends". I have a couple reasons. You might not have common values or a similar vision on how you want to live your lives.
Well for one you won't have a scourge of disgruntled Ex-s. You give someone else that has more aligned values with them an opportunity. You could hook them up with a spouse, a job lead for their children in the future. Don't go and burn bridges. Dormant ties are friends you want in your arsenal. When Somalis make the mistake of cutting ties or being selfish it is on them.

Interesting take. And I agree, but I understood friendship in the context of this topic to be calling each other regulary and just talking about anything type of relationship as opposed to calling to help each other out or to say hello and check up on person after not seeing them for a while.

sophisticate wrote:I believe in opposite sex friends. There are always a set of parameters to work within. We won't be as tight as friends if you are married. Don't tell me your personal business. - in your relationship. I'm not here for you to emotionally cheat with - see a shrink. I help out my friends and if you want a champaign, potential business partner or reference I'm here. The problem is people are self-interested and unwilling to circumvent their individual interests for the maintenance of a platonic relationship. The premise might be - if so and so is such a great catch then why "just be friends". I have a couple reasons. You might not have common values or a similar vision on how you want to live your lives.
Well for one you won't have a scourge of disgruntled Ex-s. You give someone else that has more aligned values with them an opportunity. You could hook them up with a spouse, a job lead for their children in the future. Don't go and burn bridges. Dormant ties are friends you want in your arsenal. When Somalis make the mistake of cutting ties or being selfish it is on them.

Here here

Jugjugwacwac wrote:

sophisticate wrote:I believe in opposite sex friends. There are always a set of parameters to work within. We won't be as tight as friends if you are married. Don't tell me your personal business. - in your relationship. I'm not here for you to emotionally cheat with - see a shrink. I help out my friends and if you want a champaign, potential business partner or reference I'm here. The problem is people are self-interested and unwilling to circumvent their individual interests for the maintenance of a platonic relationship. The premise might be - if so and so is such a great catch then why "just be friends". I have a couple reasons. You might not have common values or a similar vision on how you want to live your lives.
Well for one you won't have a scourge of disgruntled Ex-s. You give someone else that has more aligned values with them an opportunity. You could hook them up with a spouse, a job lead for their children in the future. Don't go and burn bridges. Dormant ties are friends you want in your arsenal. When Somalis make the mistake of cutting ties or being selfish it is on them.

Interesting take. And I agree, but I understood friendship in the context of this topic to be calling each other regulary and just talking about anything type of relationship as opposed to calling to help each other out or to say hello and check up on person after not seeing them for a while.

I think that's up to their discretion. I don't think someone would treat a friend of the opposite sex the same way they would treat a friend of the same sex. There's an altogether different code of conduct. Even for my friends of the same sex we don't speak often, quality over quantity I say (I'm trying to improve my turn-around time). So I doubt a gabfest with Mr. Married Farax would go over very well. Friendship isn't all about talking, its also about demonstrating through helping. Don't get me wrong, emotional support is important when it comes to friends of the opposite sex, but you provide that to their family during bereavement and sometimes along with financial support, as needed. However, emotional support should not be conflated with being used as a go-between in times of relationship distress. Thou shalt not use thy friends as canon fodder.

Perfect_Order wrote:

sophisticate wrote:I believe in opposite sex friends. There are always a set of parameters to work within. We won't be as tight as friends if you are married. Don't tell me your personal business. - in your relationship. I'm not here for you to emotionally cheat with - see a shrink. I help out my friends and if you want a champaign, potential business partner or reference I'm here. The problem is people are self-interested and unwilling to circumvent their individual interests for the maintenance of a platonic relationship. The premise might be - if so and so is such a great catch then why "just be friends". I have a couple reasons. You might not have common values or a similar vision on how you want to live your lives.
Well for one you won't have a scourge of disgruntled Ex-s. You give someone else that has more aligned values with them an opportunity. You could hook them up with a spouse, a job lead for their children in the future. Don't go and burn bridges. Dormant ties are friends you want in your arsenal. When Somalis make the mistake of cutting ties or being selfish it is on them.

Here here

Thanks P_O

BlackVelvet wrote:I don't know


Friendship is a type of intimacy and the more time you spend together, the closer you get and the more intimate you become. That's the trap


So my take is, if you want to be strictly friends with someone of the opposite gender, keep them at arms length

maybe more, that's still a bit too close dontcha think?

Nin iyo naag saaxibtinamada ka dhaxayn karta waa maxay? Xita inaadeerka amba inaabtiga baa la ogolayn inu kaliga kuugu imaado guriga.Inikuna niman haba yaraate shaqo ku lahayn baad leedhin asxaab ba lala noqon kara.Dhaqan ahaan iyo diinhaan toona wax soconaya maaha.

Nin la sheekayso oo shaah maqaaxi kolba kola caba adigo xaas ah edeb daro ka weyn ma jirto.

Ninka soomaliga ah ee waxa naagtisa ka yeelana wa mid dayuus ah.

My opinion.

zulaika wrote:

BlackVelvet wrote:I don't know


Friendship is a type of intimacy and the more time you spend together, the closer you get and the more intimate you become. That's the trap


So my take is, if you want to be strictly friends with someone of the opposite gender, keep them at arms length

maybe more, that's still a bit too close dontcha think?

As long as it's not chest to chest