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Re: Family secrets
Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2015 12:22 pm
by BlackVelvet
Perfect_Order wrote:BlackVelvet wrote:Perfect_Order wrote:LOL These women lie, it would kill them to not know. Nothing's curiosity is as strong as a woman's.
True. He'll also fail the loyalty test if he caves
Impossible, she is more likely to believe his true loyalty lies with them. It's like when someone gossips to you, you never think they are gossiping about you to others, until word gets back to you.
Then I suppose it depends on the couple
It seems very obvious to me
Re: Family secrets
Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 12:17 pm
by zulaika
gegiroor wrote:The husband should be telling his wife the information that involves in his immediate relative, since it came down to the point where his wife knows something is there that he is not telling her. It is husband's fault of initially giving signs and causing his wife to have doubts or worries. Once the concern is raised, imo he should come clean. Keep in mind, if the couple is married for awhile now and they don't have children, his family would start pressuring him to try and marry another wife. It also happens if they have children but the children are daughters only. His family would say, "are you going to stick with those girls?" It is an old age Somali mentality that strangely favors boys over girls. Since the concern is there at this point - where the wife is struggling why he is not telling her, it is becoming a trust issue. If he can't tell it, it is his responsibility to convince his wife that there are things that he can't tell her, and at the same time assure her that the secret does not involve them as a family.
If the secret involves the wife and her lack of children...or lack of girls, or any other nonsense that threaten her relationship with her husband, trust me she will find out one way or another
so best for the husband to come clean on these types of close quarter family charter.
Re: Family secrets
Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2015 12:44 pm
by zulaika
Perfect_Order wrote:LOL These women lie, it would kill them to not know. Nothing's curiosity is as strong as a woman's.
No doubt we'd probably want to know...
so then you can truly appreciate the willpower of a woman who is able to muzzle her curiosity , despite her natural disposition, out of respect for her husband and his family.
Re: Family secrets
Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2015 11:04 am
by gegiroor
zulaika wrote:
If the secret involves the wife and her lack of children...or lack of girls, or any other nonsense that threaten her relationship with her husband, trust me she will find out one way or another
so best for the husband to come clean on these types of close quarter family charter.
Zulaika, are the family members - who are thorn in that family's business - women? If there is an older sister who wants to settle score with her brother's wife, oops, my goodness, she can be a thorn in that family's affairs. Especially, if the guy is a wimp who can't tell his family members off, and there are many guys like that. Tell that woman to draw a red line in the sand that her husband needs to come clean, but tell her as well not push it too hard where it causes a divorce
The mentality we bring into the West is the one we had practiced back home, where children and wealth dictate over happiness in the family. The word 'Goblan' is very odd name within the Somali community that no man or woman wants to be labelled with. I saw several family breakups as a result of this mentality, subhana'Allah.