SomaliNet Forums

Theguardian wrote: re-read what I said ----

I could just invite my guy and his people and they can tell her?

i.e ask my hand in my marriage.

My mum will have the last say, she always does. My brothers and uncles do what she says. So they are not that important. but they will be there for officality.

Whats there for mom to have a last say about it lol and where does your dad fit into all of this? ..You aint bringing an ajnabi or xabashi to your family are you? Assuming the guy is Somali and You, more so than anyone else have made the decision and think he is the one for you, then to even say your mom will have the last say sounds a bit dubious lol as though this guy isn't that certified at all . As you said, him meeting with your male relatives to ask for your hand in marriage is all just formality and tradition. The decision has already been made by the two concerned individuals, i.e you and your bf!

Your mom can meet him later on, or you can introduce them in an entirely different setting.

Aishah wrote:Mabruuk sis

Thanks sis

AGENT447 wrote:

Theguardian wrote: re-read what I said ----

I could just invite my guy and his people and they can tell her?

i.e ask my hand in my marriage.

My mum will have the last say, she always does. My brothers and uncles do what she says. So they are not that important. but they will be there for officality.

Whats there for mom to have a last say about it lol and where does your dad fit into all of this? ..You aint bringing an ajnabi or xabashi to your family are you? Assuming the guy is Somali and You, more so than anyone else have made the decision and think he is the one for you, then to even say your mom will have the last say sounds a bit dubious lol as though this guy isn't that certified at all . As you said, him meeting with your male relatives to ask for your hand in marriage is all just formality and tradition. The decision has already been made by the two concerned individuals, i.e you and your bf!

Your mom can meet him later on, or you can introduce them in an entirely different setting.

That's not how it works in my family -
My mother have to know before anyone else in order to organise the meeting -
And if my mother doesn't like him? Or thinks he is not good enough for me - it happened before to my sister.
If my mum objects nothing a relative males really says matters - obviously we already decided to get marry but my mother blessing is very important to me- more than anyone else.

Walaal sharaftu waxay ku jirta inu ninku reerkina ku waydiisto.Give ur man ur brothers nr and tell him to ask for ur hand.Once he calls ur brother sheekadi way dhamaatey. Dumarka bixintooda nimanka aya ka masuul ah..hooyada masuuliyadaas ma saarna.

Mabruukna, ilaahy mid khayr qaba ha kaaga dhigo.

Masha allah your mother must be a strong woman. I understand what you mean, your mothers say and blessing is invaluable in this situation. But I am just detecting a hint of uncertainty in your tone. You have to already assume that your mother will like the fella and give you her blessings. I mean your mother trusts your judgment after all and knows that u would not go for a guy that she wouldn't like or approve of.

Anyway just go ahead then and introduce them but in a different setting.
Good luck, congrats and insha allah hope it all goes to plan

Do men just turn up unannounced at the girls house with their dad ama brother when they are asking for her hand in marriage? (Considering labada qof already talk and wada tashaday?)

Like that's mad weird.

I'd tell my Hooyo, like Hooyo macaane inan ban is baranay oo an is lee yahay waa inan wanaagsan oo guur iyo mustaqbal rajaynaya (tell him a little about the guy and his background) ka dib I'd tell her they want to meet with Abo on so and so day so they can sit down and all talk so can you tell Abo.

I don't see any ceeb in that, besides waa wax lagu farxo.

^
You tell you mum of course to make her aware of the situation and so she gets her input as far as whether she agrees he's a decent fellow to go ahead with. But as fas as the protocol goes for making it official. Only Rag baa Ragga ninka ka socda soo hor fadhiisan kara

Thug, you are totally right. Taasi waa sheeko rag.

Guardian,

You asked the wrong question to punch of Cereal eating school kids in their mother's bedroom. Take a piece of paper and a pen get the advice from the expert. I did it all and been through it all. Ready Go.

1) Its very important that, your mother meetins the guy ( unofficially). Invite him over for tea in the evening and introduce him to Mother. Its not like he is asking for her to officiate the nikaah but to make sure that, they meet and talk. If your mother approves him, the rest of the people are for ceremonial. Your brother's will call some old man from your qabil that does not even know if you existed or your dad existed. Its some useless dhaqan that does not even make sense. Letting someone officate your marriage while he reads your name in a piece of paper.
2) when mom approves him, then mom will give the boys a hint of the upcoming family that will ask for your hand in marriage. You will mostly give him your brother's number and they can deal with each other while you get ready to beautify yourself for the bend and bang.

Here is how you talk to hooyo.

---- Hooyo wiil baa rabo in uu kusoo barto. Mom will ask wiilkee muuse iga rabaah? then tell her wuxuu ii sheegay in uu gabar kaarabo. Mom will ask gabadhee? then tell her asagaa kuusheegi doono ee goormaad diyaar tahay in aad lakulanto?

the rest is easy ahahahaha Good luck abaayo. I know you are looking forward to the big night. Tell your guy not to forget to by KY gel lubricant. Waa very nice gel to use for gabar bikro ah. He can find it in Walgreens. Good luck.

Inaayah wrote:Do men just turn up unannounced at the girls house with their dad ama brother when they are asking for her hand in marriage? (Considering labada qof already talk and wada tashaday?)

Like that's mad weird.

I'd tell my Hooyo, like Hooyo macaane inan ban is baranay oo an is lee yahay waa inan wanaagsan oo guur iyo mustaqbal rajaynaya (tell him a little about the guy and his background) ka dib I'd tell her they want to meet with Abo on so and so day so they can sit down and all talk so can you tell Abo.

I don't see any ceeb in that, besides waa wax lagu farxo.

I concur, That's the best advise for your situation .

You seem sincere and very naive at the same time ,i would not advise you to share details about your personal life here,
there is a load of sadistic sickos lurking around ready to dig into your life to used it against you given the opportunity , and some just want to ridicule you,

anyway, good luck and congrats to you

this girl is miskeen. i will give you advice as elder brother.

meshan iska jir, dad fi'an iyo hun ba wey jookan.

translation; this place is full of good and bad people watch out what you put out here.

Hyperactive wrote:this girl is miskeen. i will give you advice as elder brother.

meshan iska jir, dad fi'an iyo hun ba wey jookan.

translation; this place is full of good and bad people watch out what you put out here.

How old is this girl?

i dont know fah. lol i assumed she is younger than me.loool

Sumubaridi wrote:Guardian,

You asked the wrong question to punch of Cereal eating school kids in their mother's bedroom. Take a piece of paper and a pen get the advice from the expert. I did it all and been through it all. Ready Go.

1) Its very important that, your mother meetins the guy ( unofficially). Invite him over for tea in the evening and introduce him to Mother. Its not like he is asking for her to officiate the nikaah but to make sure that, they meet and talk. If your mother approves him, the rest of the people are for ceremonial. Your brother's will call some old man from your qabil that does not even know if you existed or your dad existed. Its some useless dhaqan that does not even make sense. Letting someone officate your marriage while he reads your name in a piece of paper.
2) when mom approves him, then mom will give the boys a hint of the upcoming family that will ask for your hand in marriage. You will mostly give him your brother's number and they can deal with each other while you get ready to beautify yourself for the bend and bang.

Here is how you talk to hooyo.

---- Hooyo wiil baa rabo in uu kusoo barto. Mom will ask wiilkee muuse iga rabaah? then tell her wuxuu ii sheegay in uu gabar kaarabo. Mom will ask gabadhee? then tell her asagaa kuusheegi doono ee goormaad diyaar tahay in aad lakulanto?

the rest is easy ahahahaha Good luck abaayo. I know you are looking forward to the big night. Tell your guy not to forget to by KY gel lubricant. Waa very nice gel to use for gabar bikro ah. He can find it in Walgreens. Good luck.

Notes taken. Thanks.

Hyperactive wrote:this girl is miskeen. i will give you advice as elder brother.

meshan iska jir, dad fi'an iyo hun ba wey jookan.

translation; this place is full of good and bad people watch out what you put out here.

I haven't put out any personal information that could be used against me.
And get marrying is regular event in the Somali community- am sure there are few girls in my situation this month - (been asked their hand in marriage) so how anyone is gonna narrow it down to me seems impossible.