Timiro1999 Female Warlord of West Burco Boodhweyn

[TheblueNwhite]

Pure comedy. Keep them coming.

[HayWire]

Timiro it is all jokes.

I am Lamagoodle's student. We gonna make $$

[Vivacious]

quite entertaining.

[HayWire]

quite entertaining.

Vivs your bio Aisha hyper and sumu coming soon

[YummyMummy]

The kung fu move Allah beerkaa!

Timiro is a darling na iskuma kayn dirikartid haywire, good try

Laakin haywire waa ku sidee, you made me sound like a mad heartless bitch, why would I randomly attack a refugee, ka daranka na in a public place like a shop?

[SANDIEGUY]

@ LJ part

[Timiro1999]

The kung fu move Allah beerkaa!

Timiro is a darling na iskuma kayn dirikartid haywire, good try

Laakin haywire waa ku sidee, you made me sound like a mad heartless bitch, why would I randomly attack a refugee, ka daranka na in a public place like a shop?

Lol, indr waa sax in Yummy u dhigto cashar Timiro waayo dheh.
Waalida cas ee ay Burco kala timid bay London la iman lahayd.
Saw dadka cadaanka ah may layseen oo police ku muu xidheen.
Magta cadaanka yaa inaga bixin lahaa bal adaan kuu dhiibee.
Edeb bay imika dhulka ku martaa ilayn kung fu bay ka baqaysaa e. Lol
Haywire wuu inala kaftamayaa, sheekooyinka wuu samayn karaa.

[AbkoowDhiblaawe]

Timiro waa gangistarad. She scares the hell outta me

[HayWire]

The kung fu move Allah beerkaa!

Timiro is a darling na iskuma kayn dirikartid haywire, good try

Laakin haywire waa ku sidee, you made me sound like a mad heartless bitch, why would I randomly attack a refugee , ka daranka na in a public place like a shop?

Nah this was no random attack, You were taking Taekwondo lessons for years, for the sole purpose of getting a revenge one-day. You were motivated by the daqar on your forehead, the one you hide with makeup or the khimar

Timiro is rageedi

[Lamagoodle]

Haywire.
This is the prologue to your story. I hope Abdiwahab writes the epilogue.

Prologue

Finally, the long awaited day has arrived. Young Haywire has just graduated with a degree in cultural ethnography. His degree will come to use in pursuing graduate studies with a focus on Somalis on the internet. It will aim to understand how Somalis organise their lives and in the extension also discover how other societies look at them. Using participant observation as a research methodology, he will understand meanings rather than measurements of things. In particular, it was medical anthropology that appealed to him since it is concerned with both biological and socio-cultural aspects of human behaviour and the intersection of the two areas of science.

Haywire has already envisaged the research area of his graduate project ; Somalis and their views on health; the case of the left hand vs the right hand. In it, he plans to investigate the notion that human societies’ beliefs and practices relating to ill-health and healthy lifestyles are a central feature of culture. His maternal uncle, Dr. Lamagoodle, a research scientist in public health had told him about the bacterial manifestation on the left hand of Somalis. Dr. Lamagoodle has randomly made bacteria swaps of 200 randomised left hands of somalis and found that 99.9% had traces of prokaryotic microorganisms bacteria.

Young Haywire was fascinated by the findings of uncle Lamagoodle and his interest in the field of clinically applied medical anthropology grew steadily. However, his choice of the field was far from obvious, a few years back.

Five years ago, when Haywire had graduated from high school, his fraternal uncle, Dr. Abdiwahab of Af barwaaqo, Mudug advised him to take economics major and political minor. Dr. Abdiwahab’s rationale was clear cut: The beesha barakeeysan needed a heir to the throne of the intellectual and political seat of the beesha. Someone to succeed the irreplaceable Jananka who will not only lead the beesha from the forces of darkness into greatness but also revive the aspirations of the great HAG nation. “We need someone to be feared, loved and admired” encouraged Dr. Abdiwahab. The HAG nation is not leading because there is no heir apparent to the great jannan and here that you come into the picture” said Dr. Abdiwahab.

Haywire heeded the advice of Dr. Abdiwahab and enrolled on a bachelor’s degree in economics and politics. One year into his education, he decided to pay a visit to southern Mudug. He visted many places; from Af-barwaaqo in the east to Xaradheere in the south all the way to Qaydaro on the border to Cadaado. Every wadaad was there to meet him. Every Waranle was there to meet him. Every woman with naas was there. Every eedo, abti, adeer and every habaryar was offering him their daughters. Everyone wanted to invest in the next jananka. If Haywire was promiscuous, he would have laid any woman with naaso. They came in numbers never seen in Mudug. They trekked from Wisil , Xingod and Ceeldibir.

The women and girls sung the buraanbur. The men engaged in Walansiqo and geerar.

The festive mood was cut short though. Uncle Raage, who goes by the nickname, Boqol jiroow, because it is claimed that he is 100+ years old posed a question that will change life for the young aspiring political scientist, Haywire. The elders were gathered under an acacia – qurac- tree after a feast on sheep meat from Af Barwaaqo, when Boqol jiroow posed the question that will change young Haywire’s academic career:

Boqol jiroow; war kaale, ma ina Geed qaad baad ahayd? Geel qaad was the nickname of Haywire’s father. It is claimed that he was the camel pirate of the century; he stole camels from as far as Galadi, Hiiraan and Hobyo. It is also claimed that the reason why the people of Southern Mudug, Galgaduud and Hiiraan abandoned the camel as the prime source of wealth was because of Geelqaad.

“Haa adeer” replied Haywire feeling over confident.

Oo xaageed degan tahay?

Amerika adeer.

Amerika ka xagee? Asked Geed qaad who has listened to the BBC for more than 60 years. He claims to know every country in the world. Apart from being “the camel” wrestler, uncle Geel qaad is surrounded by another urban legend. In the 1940s the BBC used to transmit programmes in Arabic and Geel-qaad used to be the interpreter for the locals. His knowledge of the arabic language was not that good but having passed Tabarak gave him enough arabic lexis to interpret.

Adeer, Wisconsin ayaan deganahay

Wisconsin ma tuulabaa? Asked Geel qaad who has never heard about somewhere called Wisconsin.

Maya adeer waa meel weyn oo Chicaago iyo Minneapolis u dhow.
Saas iga dheh! Jikaago iyo Minehoblis waa laguu yaqaan laakin Waskonsin weligeey ma maqlin.
Oo maxaad barataa?
Adeer Dhaqaale iyo siyaasad ayaan bartaa?
Dhaqaale iyo siyaasad aa?
Haa adeer.

Geelqaad took a dollar bill from his pocket and challenged Haywire to turn it into a hundred dollar bill. According to legend in this part of Somalia, Siyaasad(si) literally means a spin-doctor, a kind of magician. To uncle Geel qaad and others Siyaasad/dhaqaale is a pseudoscience.

So ended Haywire’s dream to get a degree in economics and political science and the great road to health anthropology saw daylight.

The graduation ceremony was attended by the who is who of the HAG fraternity. Warsheekh, Vivicious, Bibaabaye and the rest of what Dr. Abdiwahab called softies, peace loving, hadaa koyne, unukaa leh, kind of hagists from down south; Cadale, Blood, Warsheekh, Balcad, Xamar daye, Jowhar. Northern intellectuals from Ceeldheer, BlueNwhite and Dr. Yalaxoow (aka light Mudugaawis) were there to give the occasion blessing not to mention the Mudugaawi’s on steroids i.e. Dr. Abdiwahab, Smooth, Farhaan and even Mudugaawi through birth, Games etc, Not to mention the intellectual wing; Ulterior motive, Geoseven etc. Even the Caucasian wing of the beesha was represented by Sahal, a shrewd political analyst who started as a promising beesha barakeeysan (HAG) spokesman only to strategically position himself as the emperor of Hiiraan where there is a power vacuum. Unlike his intellectual cousin Geoseven who has the features of a future as the prince in waiting for the Hag throne, Sahal saw things from a short term perspective.


After the graduation ceremony, the tolka embarked on wiilka gabar tolka ah ha loo doono mission. She should be a Hagist. She should be full blood ten generations back at least. Pure and undiluted, they agreed. There must be beautiful Hag women in North America. If there is none who are full blood, Canada and Europe will be their next target. If that does not succeed, Mudug will be the last resort.

“Haywire, adeer, first of all congratulations on your academic achievement. The whole HAG nation is proud of you. You are the torch bearer for taking the HAG nation out of darkness, into light, into prosperity, into conquest, and more importantly into regaining its former glory. You are the leader of the young Hegelians; the chosen young man to carry the spirit of the jananka” Shouted Dr. Abdiwahab

The female members of the tolka Vivicious, Veiled G, BV, Sussy, and even Cosob , the lass who wedded a Turk did the carab-dhow/alalees of the century that could be heard from the heavens, followed by buraanbur “I kacay dhiiga I kacay”. Viv moved by the occasion threw her garbisaar and started dancing like maxaa kaa galay.

“Secondly” continued Dr. Abdiwahab “ we have decided that in order to clear the way for your inauguration to lead the great HAG nation, you’d need a full blooded lass from the HAG nation as your wife. So do you have a HAG girlfriend?” asked Dr. Abdiwahab

“Thanks adeer, thanks everyone, I am really honoured and humbled. Thank you my tolka”

Carabdhoow/alalaas. Another round of “ ikacay, dhiiga ikacay”.

“Secondly, I have to disappoint you. I have no girlfriend at the moment. I have dated many women including cadaan women but I don’t have one now”.

“Inaa lilaahi wa inaa ileehi raajicuun. Gaalada maxaad ku jeclaatay? “Asked Cali Qase, who arrived a few years ago from Ceelasha biyaha in Xamar. He has the characteristics of FOB.

“That is fine. We shall find you a qalanjo from the tolka” replied Dr. Abdiwahab who was worried that Hagwire was already engaged to the wrong woman.

“But I have some leads” shouted Haywire.
“what lead?”
“Lately, I have been spending sometime on Somalinet forums as part of my cultural anthropology projects. I have met many great women; Tuushi, Mujaahid Aisha, Iyaah, YummyM and the lovely Timiro. But nothing is going on”

“What? Did you go to Ictiraaf land to get a naag? “ asked an irritated Dr. Yalaxoow

“ No. Doctor. Nothing is going on. It is just that I like to have fun when I am online and they make pass time” Replied Haywire

“But, I have to add that I have affection for the character known as Timiro. She is a down to earth kind of woman. Very Somali in the traditional sense but she has a history which appeals to my mind.”

“What history? Waryaa they are looking for ictiraaf and not love. Iska ilaali dadkaasi” Shouted Dr. Yalaxoow and added “ if you want sex, you can make it with a melon, nacas yahow”.

“No adeer. She was a gangster turned hot qalanjo. She holds Burco dearly but I noticed that we get along well. “

“ Burco? Bismillaahi. War iska ilaali naagaha reer burcoodka ah ragga ayaay kufsadaane” murmured Warsheek who added “ What is her tribe”?

“ I don’t know. I think she is from the one of the Habars like me”

“war bal nacaskaan fiiriya” shouted Dr. Yalaxoow. “There are dozens of Habars in ictiraafland. You will even find Habar kuuleey”.

“ Dr. Yalaxoow. I know the habars of the north very well. If she is from Burco, she is from a powerful Habar family. She is probably related to the current president and the future president. You will get a lot of money and fame” explained
Warsheekh pedagogically.

“ This is a shame. Since when did money and fame become the litmus test of the wife to be of a Hag leader in the making?” asked BlueNwhite.

“ I can’t get her out of my mind. Maybe it is her gangster history in Burco that is appealing” shouted Haywire and continued “this is her story”

quote="HayWire"]Name: Timiro Qowdhan Yawle
DOB: 01-01-???? Allahu aclam
POB: unknown, possibly Under a giant tree

Timiro was the oldest in the family. When she turned 4, her mom told her you are responsible for the small animals, like waharo etc. Little Timiro was fearless, even as a 4 year old she had no problem fending off hyenas and protecting the little animals.

Fast forward to 1993 the habro habro wars. Timiro lived in west Burco at the time. Burco market was notorious for female gang wars. Every female in the town carried a budh/kal under her arm. One minute everything looks peaceful the next minute the budh/kal fights will erupt, all you could hear was qaw, dhash, followed by war yaa reer habar hebel aheey, sometimes East burco wins, sometimes west burco, this was a daily occurrence.

Timiro developed very advanced fighting skills in her early childhood, due the fact that she used to wrestle with Hyenas. She was respected by her west burco female gang members, she was famous in the town, people used to call her Timiro Budhweyn. Every time she stepped out of her house 10 female gang members with budhadh were there. West Burco never lost a budh fight in which Timiro was present. Timiro invented the Abu Cumar, she used to wear her husband's kakhi pants whenever she went to the market just to be ready for the Budh fight.

In 1997 a peace agreement was reached in Burco. But Timiro refused to sign it, as the Female warlord of west burco, she continued to lead her female soldiers into battle, wreaking havoc in the market, until another peace conference was called for the xawaleys.
The treaty of gelinba gelin was signed. West Burco women can do their shopping in the morning and east burco can do in the afternoon.

The treaty had a deadly effect on many innocent victims. Those were mainly visitors from the diaspora.
One unfortunate victim was beaten real bad by Timiro and her gang. Her name is YumyMummy, She was visiting from the middle east (ciyal casiir) She was warned about going to the market at the wrong time, but ignored the warnings, She thought, how would they know who I am, it is not like i have my qabiil written on my forehead. Little does she know Timiro run a cartel like organization and received hourly updates on who came into town, their family, where they came from and most importantly if they were an enemy qabiil.

Yumymummy sneaked out of the house and went to the market. As she entered the market listening to some arab song, the market came to a standstill. Timiro pulled out her Budh/kal under her armpit and walked toward Yummymumy. Unaware of what is unfolding infront of her Yummy was singing along and repeating this word Xabiibi Xabiibi. At this point Timiro was livid and aksed Naa yaad Xabiibo ugu yeereysaa Saaqidad yahay Basasha Kasoo dheregtay. Timiro believes anyone who lives carabaha eats nothing but Onion. Timiro and her gang descended on Yummy and left her for dead, but she survived.

Years past Timiro left Burco and moved to the UK. She didn't know anybody, she started asking every Somali she met, Waryee waar xagey iidoorku galaan, elderly man told her, Naayaa naa orodoo East London tag. She still carries her Budh and almost lost her cool and smashed the old guy's, then she thought waa dhul gaal yaan lagu xirin.

Timiro went to East London, little did she know, it is a habar jeclo stronghold She arrived Habar Jeclo High Road little after 1PM.
YumyMummy was grocery shopping, as she stepped out of the store, she found herself right in front of Timiro. Yummy dropped her grocery, she was frozen, she started having flashbacks of that faithful day. Afkiba juuqda gabay for a few seconds. Then Yummy screamed TIMIRO BUDHWEYN, ALA WAA TIMIRO BUDHWEYN. The whole Habar Jeclo High Road came to a standstill. Then every HJ female rushed towards Timiro, but before they reached her YumyMummy ripped her cabaya like Hulk Hogan rips his t-shirt revealing pink abuu cumar and a tight t-shirt with the words Girl Power written on it, Yummy used a technique called Twi-myo Dwi Chagi aka Flying Back Kick. Before you know it Timiro was on the floor out cold. Every HJ woman in east London was on top of her.

Oday Lejustier was in the middle of his daily FKD nearby, cursing IOG and his treatment of Siilaanyo on one hand, and at the same time cursing the house of Saud and President Erdogan, while praising Putin, Pashar and the Ayatullahs. He heard the commotion, when he got closer he saw the HJ crew beating up a woman. As an Oday he jumped in to stop the fight and saved Timiro's life. Someone called the Police and when they arrived they saw Oday Lejustier using his bakoorad to beat the HJ females back. Police thought he was a threat and put Oday Lejustier on a choke hold and threw him in the van. Yusuf xeyraan who just finished a chewing marathon saw Odey Lejustier in a Police van, he asked him why is he in the van. Odey Lejustier said Mooji, I was trying to stop islamo fighting. Yusuf said Adeer do you know they were beating up Timiro Budhweyn. Waar ma Illah baa kugu og. If I knew anigaaba garaaci lahaa Timro Budhweyn. Caku I am going to jail for Timiro said the old man.


PS There is an old saying If a woman says I am Burco, check her forehead. If she doesn't have minimum of 5 Daqar, She is definitely lying :lol

[/quote]

[AbkoowDhiblaawe]

bravo lamagodle strålande som vanligt.. Walahi Sii daacad aan uu qoslay

[HayWire]

“What history? Waryaa they are looking for ictiraaf and not love. Iska ilaali dadkaasi” Shouted Dr. Yalaxoow and added “ if you want sex, you can make it with a melon, nacas yahow”.

Ditore ain't into shagging a melon.

Inaa lilaahi wa inaa ileehi raajicuun. Gaalada maxaad ku jeclaatay? “Asked Cali Qase, who arrived a few years ago from Ceelasha biyaha in Xamar. He has the characteristics of FOB.

Bravo adeero Lamagoodle. Very entertaining. I am waiting for Adeer AW252 to conclude this.

We gonna be rich

Xplayer edeb yeelo. Leave the girl alone old man

[TheblueNwhite]

Adeer 2go'dle you killed it.

[Vivacious]

lamagoodle

[cheifaqilbari]

timiro is a good person ruunta ka hadasha dad ba ku xanuusta ruunta haga ka waad