Are men naturally polygynous?

[Hyperactive]

I really hate to think the reason men to have more than one partner is just animal instincts, to spread genes , just like any animal in the jungle!
also I hate to think its driven by need to sex!!

I have more hopes for humanity than that simple animalism driven!! I want to think women are more holier than that!!

[Estranged]

As i man i can say that it is our innate nature to spread the seed.
Since monogamy is the ideal for social cohesion, allot of men like me, will keep it in their pants and stick with one woman.
but there is an ever present drive to bang as many women as possible.
Its a matter of willpower.

Women are the opposite, they prefer one mate.

It would be difficult for a women to understand the difference between a man who cheats on them and the one that stays loyal
is discipline and willpower.
It does not mean that he doesnt love you, its just that he is weak willed.
Now your loyal husband that never looks at another woman, looks perfect
but he may not even love you that much he just has more willpower.
While the cheating husband could be more loving and devoted, but lacked willpower.

So a man can love a woman but still desire intimacy with another one? Yeah, it's really hard to understand.

I feel uncomfortable asking this but, doesn't intimacy mean much to a man? He can be intimate but emotionally removed?

I told you that it would be difficult to understand, but I see that you want to
The best way is to imagine yourself in a man's shoes and think of having the ever present desire always running in the background.

You asked about intimacy, thus is not intimacy it's a physical desire. You see men's sexuality is more physical than women. Women require a stronger emotional connection to enjoy sex, dating courtship, marriage etc.

Another way at looking at things, consider this thought experiment.

There is this man for example, he is the most attractive man you have ever seen, but he is dirt poor, and has a menial job. Would you still find him attractive?
His status has a big impact on desirability.

Now let's say I come across a janitor cleaning toilets and her dress is covered in stains, but she is physically attractive.
Her status will have zero bearing on the vast majority of straight men, and I would definitely sleep with her if given the chance.

Not true. Even in the Qur'aan, there's the story of Zuleikha and Nabi Yusuf (as). He was a slave at the time, and she was married to a powerful, influential man. Still, she desired him and even when she invited the upper class women of Egypt, they all desired him. And they were wealthy and noble women, and he was a slave.

[Estranged]

45-55% of married women engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their marriage

It's not a male/female question. It's a decent human being/prick question


http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1 ... 8v01n03_03

But I've heard over and over again most men desire polygyny. Even if they love their wife they still have this desire. And this is backed up by the fact that polygyny is in Jannah (from what I know, every man will have more than one wife).

There is no equivalent for women. Neither is polyandry halal (or practical) in this world, nor is there anything in Islam that suggests it will exist in Jannah.

[smartyt]

Gurey is a funny guy

[Futurist]

45-55% of married women engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their marriage

It's not a male/female question. It's a decent human being/prick question


http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1 ... 8v01n03_03

But I've heard over and over again most men desire polygyny. Even if they love their wife they still have this desire. And this is backed up by the fact that polygyny is in Jannah (from what I know, every man will have more than one wife).

There is no equivalent for women. Neither is polyandry halal (or practical) in this world, nor is there anything in Islam that suggests it will exist in Jannah.

I think it's difficult to to draw direct inferences about human nature from 'Jannah', mainly because we know so little about it and because it means something different to every person (hence my putting it in inverted commas). Take another example: Jannah is said to to be abundant with wine, gold and by the sounds of it other examples of opulence and excess. Yet this kind of hedonistic and materialistic lifestyle is not encouraged in the Dunya. Just an observation.

Speaking more generally, I think men definitely have an attraction to more than one woman, at least speaking from my experience. We are a lot less pickey, less emotionally vested and more fickle than women. This doesnt make us any less good or bad on an individual level, it just is what it is.

[BVSNet]

45-55% of married women engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their marriage

It's not a male/female question. It's a decent human being/prick question


http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1 ... 8v01n03_03

But I've heard over and over again most men desire polygyny. Even if they love their wife they still have this desire. And this is backed up by the fact that polygyny is in Jannah (from what I know, every man will have more than one wife).

There is no equivalent for women. Neither is polyandry halal (or practical) in this world, nor is there anything in Islam that suggests it will exist in Jannah.

All that says to me is that men are more likely to be motivated by sex and offering sex to women as a reward for good behaviour does not have the same effect, especially not 1400 years ago.

Consider this also - it takes two to tango, for each man who wants to...

[Khalid Ali]

one siiiil is very boring habeen walba waad ka xiiso dhacaysa in the begining its oke laakin in a while a man desires more woman he would not even love her but just was her and no affection just ask ur self why are there woman whores because of the desire there are less male whores. men want sex its a feeling to wanting to dominate as many woman as possible

[smartyt]

I am living a country where its legal to fuck a 15 year old blond haha

[COOL-MAN]

What is polygyny?

[Gaashaanle1000]

That's dishonest. You make it sound as though it's women's deviant sexual desires that resulted in them forming the majority of the inhabitants of hell. When the Prophet (Saw) was asked why they formed the majority, he answers because of their ingratitude (towards their husbands). (Ref: Bukhari, 1052)


Gartey, but it's not that relevant to the topic at hand. You're just discussing the potential men have for having many offspring. This is evident, but polygyny (in Islam) involves being committed to each women. Not just reproducing like rabbits.

How is what I put dishonest?

I just quoted a hadith, but it was not in any context, so to claim what I put is dishonest is illogical.

So to add a context now! ingratitude towards a husband fits into many different categories. Cheating on your husband with the good looking unattached thug down the road is the ultimate ingratitude. Again this goes back to my previous point about cuckolding and how many women desire a dependable simple man for financial support. Whereas she really secretly desires the pretty boy for mating, so that he can pass on his superior genes at the same time duping the unfortunate simpleton that ends up raising the children thinking that they are his. It is a win win situation for the woman without morals, and indeed worthy of Jahanam.

Consider the varying statistics of men raising children that are not theirs. With the advent of modern technology and DNA, it is becoming clearer how this trend has been happening all throughout human history.

As for your second point. Allah is the most merciful and he designed humans in their respective gendered bodies. It was not a mistake that men can reproduce far more offspring than women, and that they often have higher desire for mating (not necessarily higher desire when the act of intercourse itself is taking place, it can be considered that women have the potential to reach far greater arousal levels than men). Why would these inherent differences exist, if there was not a reason and outlet for them?

You seem to be missing large chunks of what I wrote, misinterpreting the information I am presenting. The human being is formed of a physical shell along with the soul that inhabits it. In terms of the body, the male body has far higher capacity to reproduce, and the tendency to be of greater physical strength. Biology plays a huge role in our motivations in life and how we go about doing things believe it or not, for example the fact that we need to eat and drink. Males and females have different brains and capacities for different roles. Of course there are individual variations among people, but the exception does not make the rule. For this reason Allah has deemed it that males are the providers and protectors of females. So a man that can fulfil his reproductive desire of polygyny whilst adhering to all the rules attached to it should be welcomed. Of course if he cannot handle the burden of more than one woman, and is indeed struggling with his only wife, then he should never consider it and have the self control not to go for it.





“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allaah is All-Mighty, All-Wise”

[al-Baqarah 2:228]

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allaah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allaah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity and their husband’s property). As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34]

[Estranged]

Speaking more generally, I think men definitely have an attraction to more than one woman, at least speaking from my experience. We are a lot less pickey, less emotionally vested and more fickle than women. This doesnt make us any less good or bad on an individual level, it just is what it is.

So does this mean that for the majority of men it's impossible to desire only one woman, be she his beloved wife?

And attraction is different. Women can also be attracted to more than one man.

[Estranged]

All that says to me is that men are more likely to be motivated by sex and offering sex to women as a reward for good behaviour does not have the same effect, especially not 1400 years ago.

Consider this also - it takes two to tango, for each man who wants to...

*Scratches head*

Well, if a man has multiple wives and all those wives only have him...

[Estranged]

How is what I put dishonest?

I just quoted a hadith, but it was not in any context, so to claim what I put is dishonest is illogical.

So to add a context now! ingratitude towards a husband fits into many different categories. Cheating on your husband with the good looking unattached thug down the road is the ultimate ingratitude. Again this goes back to my previous point about cuckolding and how many women desire a dependable simple man for financial support. Whereas she really secretly desires the pretty boy for mating, so that he can pass on his superior genes at the same time duping the unfortunate simpleton that ends up raising the children thinking that they are his. It is a win win situation for the woman without morals, and indeed worthy of Jahanam.

Again, no. The Prophet (Saw) explained what he meant by ingratitude.

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “I was shown Hell and I have never seen anything more terrifying than it. And I saw that the majority of its people are women.” They said, “Why, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Because of their ingratitude (kufr).” It was said, “Are they ungrateful to Allah?” He said, “They are ungrateful to their companions (husbands) and ungrateful for good treatment. If you are kind to one of them for a lifetime then she sees one (undesirable) thing in you, she will say, ‘I have never had anything good from you.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 1052)

Please stop giving it your own interpretation to suit your agenda.

You seem to be missing large chunks of what I wrote, misinterpreting the information I am presenting. The human being is formed of a physical shell along with the soul that inhabits it. In terms of the body, the male body has far higher capacity to reproduce, and the tendency to be of greater physical strength. Biology plays a huge role in our motivations in life and how we go about doing things believe it or not, for example the fact that we need to eat and drink. Males and females have different brains and capacities for different roles. Of course there are individual variations among people, but the exception does not make the rule. For this reason Allah has deemed it that males are the providers and protectors of females. So a man that can fulfil his reproductive desire of polygyny whilst adhering to all the rules attached to it should be welcomed. Of course if he cannot handle the burden of more than one woman, and is indeed struggling with his only wife, then he should never consider it and have the self control not to go for it.

Yes, a man is responsible for looking after and providing for his female relatives and his wife. I'm not disagreeing with you on this, I don't know why you thought to spell it out for me. I was just discussing the polygyny part.

[smartyt]

Oh shut up this is not a phd explaination

[Estranged]

Oh shut up this is not a phd explaination