Difficult experiences in life at a young age

[Sophisticate]

Typical GBs with their multiple disorders ....Waar Ilaaahay dhasha Aw-liyada sidan muu u dhaamo. When looked from afar, they all seem polished, together and somewhat intelligent/academician than the average skinny, yet the minute you scratch under the surface, they all seem to just wither like a bloody wet paper, yacni waa wada warqad qoyan oo waraaqahoodiina wada sita

..Nacalaa, mid GAD ka sheekeeya, mid eating disorder ka shekaysa iyo mid ilaahay idoorkii uun ku diray oo qaaq kaga wada siiyay, and may himself be suffering from what I have termed Idoor Syndrome ( Markay qabyaalad ka hadal iyo kaftankeed uun kaaga dhagto)

And here I thought this Jamacatul DNA with the outo-Somali credentials, even with his GAD was sent from ( GCHQ) by the brass to cover for the Agent for Xmas and the festive period, ilayn islaantii yarayd ee cadankii ee ree Scunthorpe ayaa na sugaysee

Being judgemental isn't helping the youth. Coming from a place of compassion and offering solutions does. As a member of Beesha, it's best I let you know that what you'll face with the next generation will be more complex than the fish and chip crowd of generation 1.5 and 2.0. If you thought the guur doon process was tough enough. Imagine them bringing home a hologram. FYI - Reer UK has chronically low vitamin D levels.

[smooth]

Your issues are all spiritual issues 90% of it, worries is a major sign of a lack of iman, the next phases are usually doubt then Kufr

To address this give up on all the major sins your currently committing, special attention to those hurting others (oppression) or disobedience to parents or breaking the ties of kinship, this is assuming you pray although worry and praying doesn't really go together, you know best the issues fix them first.

This will take away your worry, as you will internalise that only Allah provides rather, your self esteem will go up, and you will see opportunities from places you couldn't even imagine.

The insomnia is a symptom of a underlying issue, a lack of routine and wild sleeping patterns, to reverse this starve yourself for a day, then go to bed that night and keep that routine up, you get most stuff done in the early mornings, it has the most Barakah.

Eat as healthy as possible, go to the gym and make it a routine, don't even bother with the career or teaching yourself a skill, this is the whole source of your worries and subsequent down fall, leave that in the hands of Allah focus on getting your connection better, he will open those doors very easily.

The more you try to find paths other then the spiritual path (Not Sufi Stuff) and you have reliance on anything other then Allah for your outcomes as it relates to career or riziq, you will continue to wallow in this anxiety pit and never get out.

No Amount of self-help videos, or hours behind the computer will do you any good, he controls the motivation, the energy levels and the directions, the sooner you realise this and respond to it, the quicker you will get out of this.

That's my sincere advise to you as someone that struggled very hardcore when i got started decades ago with much worse then you and ended up in a path much different then what I had envisaged.

[Sophisticate]

Your issues are all spiritual issues 90% of it, worries is a major sign of a lack of iman, the next phases are usually doubt then Kufr

To address this give up on all the major sins your currently committing, special attention to those hurting others (oppression) or disobedience to parents or breaking the ties of kinship, this is assuming you pray although worry and praying doesn't really go together, you know best the issues fix them first.

This will take away your worry, as you will internalise that only Allah provides rather, your self esteem will go up, and you will see opportunities from places you couldn't even imagine.

The insomnia is a symptom of a underlying issue, a lack of routine and wild sleeping patterns, to reverse this starve yourself for a day, then go to bed that night and keep that routine up, you get most stuff done in the early mornings, it has the most Barakah.

Eat as healthy as possible, go to the gym and make it a routine, don't even bother with the career or teaching yourself a skill, this is the whole source of your worries and subsequent down fall, leave that in the hands of Allah focus on getting your connection better, he will open those doors very easily.

The more you try to find paths other then the spiritual path (Not Sufi Stuff) and you have reliance on anything other then Allah for your outcomes as it relates to career or riziq, you will continue to wallow in this anxiety pit and never get out.

No Amount of self-help videos, or hours behind the computer will do you any good, he controls the motivation, the energy levels and the directions, the sooner you realise this and respond to it, the quicker you will get out of this.

That's my sincere advise to you as someone that struggled very hardcore when i got started decades ago with much worse then you and ended up in a path much different then what I had envisaged.

I actually agree with you. However, this is a multi-faceted challenge that requires a multi-prong strategy. Spiritual health is one aspect, albeit, very important. However, I wouldn't downplay the self-help aspect and claim it won't help. It will help you if you act on it. The brother needs to improve his self-image too. Spirituality and a stronger connection with God will help to create content and gratitude. However, he also needs to reprogram himself. All that negative self-talk has accumulated over the years. And it won't change overnight. There needs to be a systematic and methodological approach to change that, too. Who is to say you can't be spiritual/religious, health-conscious, build your skills and improve your self-image. You need spiritual, physical, material and emotional health to live optimally.

[Veganista]

I'm sorry to hear about your set backs chin up brother everything will be alright. After difficult times comes ease no trial and tribulation is meant to stay in your life permanently. Start believing in yourself and your abilities I can tell that you are a smart person. You can achieve anything you want as long as you put your mind to it. Failure is part of success so never give up. Be glad that you found out while still young that money doesn't bring happiness. It takes others their whole life or the end of their life to realise that.

As for having never spoken to a woman nothing wrong with that your time will come. A diamond doesn't lose its worth and value just because no one buys it. You are like a diamond whos value and worth doesn't decrease because of not having haram interactions with women and people who are unable to see it. In this time we are living you are rare and unique.

I will include you in my prayers.

https://youtu.be/f1rDxFl86k0

https://youtu.be/SplxgG6rx5o

https://youtu.be/KoqhNz7wD3I

https://youtu.be/jyZjEhVaJcw

[QaxootiWaaxid]

Sophisticate:
I went to a psychologist and she said that I was a hard nut to crack. In over 30 years of experience she was sure my case was an anomaly. I don't fault her.
There is nothing wrong with failure, so long as it doesn't inhibit your self-esteem. Which is unfortunately what has been my story ever since.
Those questions you posed I've copied and pasted into my curriculum vitae. Any prospective job, I will pm you for advise and guidance. I hope you don't mind. I know I sound desperate. Because I am.

Bella18:
What are they saying about me. Tell me. Please.

Not a problem. Feel free to ask. Forget about the shrink for a sec. Pay attention to your words, sxb. You can change your "story". You don't have to let present results dictate future outcomes. Your story is ever changing. Like you, it should be evolving. Would you wear a hand me down from 10 years ago? Probably not, so quit judging yourself with the measuring stick of yesterday. Forgive yourself for falling short of your expectations. And make new micro-goals and catalog your daily, weekly, monthly and yearly achievements. Working on things incrementally will stop you from being overwhelmed by a macro-goal/large undertaking. And if you aren't feeling so well consider having new experiences to change, they will change your feelings. Also, being other-focused by being of value to others through helping them will improve your mood. You can do this by helping family and/or volunteering for a cause you care about. And you are not desperate. Omit self-defeating words from everyday use. You become what you say and think about most. And whatever you focus on grows. If you think in terms of lack, that's what you'll get back. Life won't get better from some future event. Just be happy now. You just need a couple things (1) changing your mindset, (2) cleaning up your diet and (3) increasing your level of physical activity and (4) getting proper rest. That will certainly improve your self-image.

I have to recommend this audiobook. It's called Psychocybernetics. It's a classic personal development book.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Il_jA0wJaIs

lmao holy shit Cybernetics. Ileen Sophisticate was a f-king a Scientologist this whole time

[Thanatophiliac]

Some of the replies in this thread are overwhelming. Where do I start?

Sophisticate:
Those words are really emboldening. I did a routine re-read of your posts at least 11 times to encompass everything and logged it into my online chronicle. It, effectively slapped me back into reality and galvanised my soul. You said stop judging yourself today with the measuring stick of yesterday. This was the first of many bouts which left me disorientated (in a positive way). Another one when you said: Omit self defeating words. This put me in a metaphorical stupor. And when you said: Working on things incrementally will help not becoming overwhelmed by a large undertaking. This was my restorative. From the first jot to the last, everything you said had an impact. I only highlighted a few for exemplification. I need not say more as I will not be able to afford your post the elevation that is inherently it's own. I will message you privately. Thank you.

Smooth:
Thanks brother. Although I'm not really committing any major sins. I pray my daily prayers alhamdullilah. I fulfill my obligations to Allah. I give unto Caesar that which is Ceasar's and I give unto God that which is God's. I am actually quite fit, I work out regularly. I'm handsome, tall and all of that. I actually have no reason to feel the way I did. But you are right. Perhaps my relationship with Allah is not in sync and requires rectification. A specialist in the field once told me that some of the most courageous, affluent, intelligent, generous, chivalrous men have all sipped that cup, pretty much. I'm already better now thanks to Allah.

Vegansista:
I have achieved more than all my peers in life. I am super qualified without exaggeration, I have to be really humble lest you entertain the idea that I'm being superficial. But everything you said applies to my life.
Your words are too much for me. Wow nobody ever called me as valuable as a diamond. I feel a bit girly now lol. You made me blush, seriously. My God! You have ravaged the inner most depths of my being with that statement. My brown skin has reddened, sweating profusely. Lol.

Thanks for those vids. I will watch them without trepidation. Jazakumullah kheyran. Ameen.

[theyuusuf143]

I overstepped my boundaries on more than one occasion. In my short life, I've tried to find a point beyond infinity which severely impacted my regularity of thought. The only other man who ever attempted such a feat was put in a straitjacket. Corporations were afraid to employ me because they felt an overqualified employee knows no loyalty. Entrepreneur-ism didn't work well for me as EVERYTHING I ever invested in plummeted. My self-esteem took a nose dive. Insomnia became my lot in life. I didn't have a home for over 5 months.
I turned to Sufism and joined the Qadiriyah tariqah for spiritual development. I became the first young black Somali pir-saab renowned in the Indo-Pak community. It became quite lucrative but couldn't sustain it after a while.
I developed a stress disorder and constantly worry about everything. I've never spoken to a woman. I fear the prospects of the future. All my numerous qualifications (including my degree) are theoretical. So I really have no skills. All this and Im still really young.

Should I be worried?

I Suffered Insomnia nearly two years, God sent me to borama and I found my cure. I advise you to take a holiday far away from your current destination, I recommend The mother land especially Borama.

[Thanatophiliac]

I overstepped my boundaries on more than one occasion. In my short life, I've tried to find a point beyond infinity which severely impacted my regularity of thought. The only other man who ever attempted such a feat was put in a straitjacket. Corporations were afraid to employ me because they felt an overqualified employee knows no loyalty. Entrepreneur-ism didn't work well for me as EVERYTHING I ever invested in plummeted. My self-esteem took a nose dive. Insomnia became my lot in life. I didn't have a home for over 5 months.
I turned to Sufism and joined the Qadiriyah tariqah for spiritual development. I became the first young black Somali pir-saab renowned in the Indo-Pak community. It became quite lucrative but couldn't sustain it after a while.
I developed a stress disorder and constantly worry about everything. I've never spoken to a woman. I fear the prospects of the future. All my numerous qualifications (including my degree) are theoretical. So I really have no skills. All this and Im still really young.

Should I be worried?

I Suffered Insomnia nearly two years, God sent me to borama and I found my cure. I advise you to take a holiday far away from your current destination, I recommend The mother land especially Borama.

I'm from Borama myself. My father is going in the summer. I will go with him Insh'Allah.

[Veganista]

Some of the replies in this thread are overwhelming. Where do I start?

Sophisticate:
Those words are really emboldening. I did a routine re-read of your posts at least 11 times to encompass everything and logged it into my online chronicle. It, effectively slapped me back into reality and galvanised my soul. You said stop judging yourself today with the measuring stick of yesterday. This was the first of many bouts which left me disorientated (in a positive way). Another one when you said: Omit self defeating words. This put me in a metaphorical stupor. And when you said: Working on things incrementally will help not becoming overwhelmed by a large undertaking. This was my restorative. From the first jot to the last, everything you said had an impact. I only highlighted a few for exemplification. I need not say more as I will not be able to afford your post the elevation that is inherently it's own. I will message you privately. Thank you.

Smooth:
Thanks brother. Although I'm not really committing any major sins. I pray my daily prayers alhamdullilah. I fulfill my obligations to Allah. I give unto Caesar that which is Ceasar's and I give unto God that which is God's. I am actually quite fit, I work out regularly. I'm handsome, tall and all of that. I actually have no reason to feel the way I did. But you are right. Perhaps my relationship with Allah is not in sync and requires rectification. A specialist in the field once told me that some of the most courageous, affluent, intelligent, generous, chivalrous men have all sipped that cup, pretty much. I'm already better now thanks to Allah.

Vegansista:
I have achieved more than all my peers in life. I am super qualified without exaggeration, I have to be really humble lest you entertain the idea that I'm being superficial. But everything you said applies to my life.
Your words are too much for me. Wow nobody ever called me as valuable as a diamond. I feel a bit girly now lol. You made me blush, seriously. My God! You have ravaged the inner most depths of my being with that statement. My brown skin has reddened, sweating profusely. Lol.

Thanks for those vids. I will watch them without trepidation. Jazakumullah kheyran. Ameen.

Nah don't think your being superficial. You have opened your heart to us and shared your fears, worries, successes, life journey and thus showed us your authentic self. It takes courage to open up and be vulnerable.

Aww that's nice to know my words touched you deeply. It puts a smile on my face to know I had a positive impact on you

Ps welcome newbie. What does your name mean?

[theyuusuf143]

That's great then, Just stop taking Sleeping bills when you reach there, Avoid any thing that worries you, eat portions of camel meat every day, drink the local Orange, mango and guava juices every day, And walk a lot. Try to even chew khat a couple of times every week it's fatigue may make you fall to sleep . That's all I did for 2 months I am not still sure if it was the diet, the climate, the khat or the activities. Or may be my feelings changed from being poor to being rich, I used to surprise poor strangers by giving them something they didn't ask or expected from me , may be qofbaa Ii duceeyey. Weligay kuma tashan inay hurdadu igu soo laaban doonto quus baan ka joogay, waan u qaadan waayey markii aan iska arkay anoo lulo la rukuucaya , alla maxaan farxay .

[AgentOfChaos]

I've never spoken to a woman.

Well, you came to the right place, Snet is the home of basement dwellers. You'll fit right at home here.

[Sophisticate]

[
lmao holy shit Cybernetics. Ileen Sophisticate was a f-king a Scientologist this whole time

Did the word 'cybernetic' have an effect, on you? I fail to see what it has to do with Scientology, an ideology I know little about. Do you mind explaining it to me?

Some of the replies in this thread are overwhelming. Where do I start?

Sophisticate:
Those words are really emboldening. I did a routine re-read of your posts at least 11 times to encompass everything and logged it into my online chronicle. It, effectively slapped me back into reality and galvanized my soul. You said stop judging yourself today with the measuring stick of yesterday. This was the first of many bouts which left me disorientated (in a positive way). Another one when you said: Omit self-defeating words. This put me in a metaphorical stupor. And when you said: Working on things incrementally will help not becoming overwhelmed by a large undertaking. This was my restorative. From the first jot to the last, everything you said had an impact. I only highlighted a few for exemplification. I need not say more as I will not be able to afford your post the elevation that is inherently it's own. I will message you privately. Thank you.

Happy to help, bro. Glad to hear that it had an impact. Thank you for sharing your story (which was well-written). It takes a considerable amount of strength to brush your ego to the side and speak authentically from experience. Veganista said it well, that's a rarity. There are a lot of good and well-meaning people here, so enjoy your time.

[Veganista]

Sophisticate, you are a wise woman. I like your sophisticated great answers. We think alike after all they say great minds think alike.

[PanSomaliNationalist]

Dugsi was the only hard thing I experienced as a kid my macalin suffered from severe autism and would keep me with him from 6 in the morning until 4 in the afternoon

[Hyperactive]

my only advice to you just change your thinking. majority of our anxieties comes from our negative thinking. think positive and will attract positive things. that is role of universe.

reach out your parents. family are best in times of uncertainty. talking to my old man and his elder brother makes me feel better.