Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

[BlackVelvet]

My Uncle told me: Never get lazy with your wife. Don't be complacent. Always do what's good for her, be romantic with her even 10 Years into the marriage, and make sure you have good communication with her.

MashaAllah

I don't even mean it in a terrible way, but it's no one's place to stalk me, let alone my wife. Any sane person would go ballistic, and that is one sure way to end a relationship, because it just goes down hill from there. And yeah, you insane.

Anyone can "people watch" you. Why are you denying your wife her legal right, what are you hiding

[SultanOrder]

Either you are trolling, or you have lost your mind.

[SummerRain]

She crossed the rubicon

BV

[SultanOrder]

She crossed the rubicon

BV

[COOL-MAN]

She is Definitely trolling

[Jugjugwacwac]

BV

Got a question for you.

Would you let your husband go out with his friends on the weekends (guys n girls)?

Ninyahow a man doesn't need permission from his wife to go out. In fact if we're gonna get technical islamically speaking it's the wife who needs permissions from her husband. Luckily for Somali women Somali guys are easy going and not controlling like the Arabs, Afghanis, Pakistanis and others. With that said, both the man and the women in the marriage should balance their social life with their family life and make sure they spend quality time with their spouse. The day my wife dictates my comings and goings is the day I castrate myself and hand my 'alaab' over to her lol.

[BlackVelvet]

Fiiriya, call it quality control and unscheduled safety checks. You need to apply these things


There is no need to get so worked up about it

If he's legit then you have evidence to support the trust you bestow upon him, if he's not you have evidence to support the shitstorm you will wreak on him


Win-win

[COOL-MAN]

BV

Got a question for you.

Would you let your husband go out with his friends on the weekends (guys n girls)?

Ninyahow a man doesn't need permission from his wife to go out. In fact if we're gonna get technical islamically speaking it's the wife who needs permissions from her husband. Luckily for Somali women Somali guys are easy going and not controlling like the Arabs, Afghanis, Pakistanis and others. With that said, both the man and the women in the marriage should balance their social life with their family life and make sure they spend quality time with their spouse. The day my wife dictates my comings and goings is the day I castrate myself and hand my 'alaab' over to her lol.

Wish it was as plain as that.

Sometimes you have to tell her as where you are going to put her heart at rest.

[Jugjugwacwac]

Wish it was as plain as that.

Sometimes you have to tell her as where you are going to put her heart at rest.

Saaxiib, telling her where ur going, which is fine, is very different from asking for her permission to go out.

[COOL-MAN]

Wish it was as plain as that.

Sometimes you have to tell her as where you are going to put her heart at rest.

Saaxiib, telling her where ur going, which is fine, is very different from asking for her permission to go out.

Why not if it makes her happy

[Jugjugwacwac]

Why not if it makes her happy

lol, trust me it won't.

[TheblueNwhite]

Aniga habeenkii in la i yiraahdo "I tired" ama la is hurdosiiyo markaan qolka soo galo ma rabo. Danteyda waa aqaan.

[TheblueNwhite]

given your response to Blue, your premise is on a partner you don't quite know. You would have these thoughts only if the relationship has a rocky foundation, you are unsure of him given previous events that made you highly suspicious and/or lastly you're paralyzed by boredom. Besides we can't corroborate disinterest on his side of he leaves the toilet seat up etc....that never should warrant a stalkerish behavor from a spouse. Some men are by design forgetful and lack the capacity to understand little things that matter to women.

I feel like I am coming across like a crazy person

This really makes sense when you think about it.

If a woman has a reason, whatever it may be (no matter how solid or shaky a foundation) to doubt her man, then she should find out for sure before she goes off accusing him or throwing tantrums. If you have a hypothesis, go ahead and prove it. No need for drama.

Also a man who doesn't pay attention to the little things will eventually make a mess of the big stuff. That's why I rate people on little things that they don't realise they're doing, good or bad. IMO that's what it comes down to.

BV
Xaajiyada never asks me where I'm going or who I'm with. I have never given her a reason to doubt my commitment to her.

Tii hore, was just like you. lol...j/k

[COOL-MAN]

Jugjugwac,

trust me too sxb. Women are very delicate and emotional beings. U can give her that power without losing your raganimo. It shows to her that she realy counts and is valued. And value and respect she should be given. Ilaahey Qeyr fara badan ha siiyo dumarkeena.

I was married before to a person I didn't show a lot of respect to, as in not puting too much considerations into her thoughts. It ended up in a disaster. Left after 8months. To this day, looking back I regret alot. Not for losing her but I could give her bit of respect. Wish I could have put just that little bit more effort.

The more you show her care the more productive and encouraged they are. At the end of the day it's to your benefit too. She is your family and family comes first.

[Jugjugwacwac]

Jugjugwac,

trust me too sxb. Women are very delicate and emotional beings. U can give her that power without losing your raganimo. It shows to her that she realy counts and is valued. And value and respect she should be given. Ilaahey Qeyr fara badan ha siiyo dumarkeena.

I was married before to a person I didn't show a lot of respect to, as in not puting too much considerations into her thoughts. It ended up in a disaster. Left after 8months. To this day, looking back I regret alot. Not for losing her but I could give her bit of respect. Wish I could have put just that little bit more effort.

The more you show her care the more productive and encouraged they are. At the end of the day it's to your benefit too. She is your family and family comes first.

Thanks for the advice bro. And may ur next marriage be a fruitful and long lasting one. Aamiin.