Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

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Re: Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

Post by SultanOrder »

Get married get divorced live life
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Re: Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

Post by FAH1223 »

GAMES wrote:
DisplacedDiraac wrote:- Make sure you talk about everything, I mean everything from how many children you both want to what type of flooring you'd prefer.

- Make sure you know everything there needs to be known about his credit history!!
LooL credit history? Really?
:lol: :lol:
Perfect_Order wrote:Get married get divorced live life
niggas make things so complicated
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Re: Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

Post by DisplacedDiraac »

GAMES wrote:
DisplacedDiraac wrote:- Make sure you talk about everything, I mean everything from how many children you both want to what type of flooring you'd prefer.

- Make sure you know everything there needs to be known about his credit history!!
LooL credit history? Really?
yup. It's not number 1 but its in the top three deal breakers!
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Re: Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

Post by FAH1223 »

DisplacedDiraac wrote: yup. It's not number 1 but its in the top three deal breakers!
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Re: Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

Post by SolidCamel »

FAH1223 wrote:
DisplacedDiraac wrote: yup. It's not number 1 but its in the top three deal breakers!
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I've been looking for this gif lmao
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Re: Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

Post by BlackVelvet »

DisplacedDiraac wrote:
GAMES wrote:
DisplacedDiraac wrote:- Make sure you talk about everything, I mean everything from how many children you both want to what type of flooring you'd prefer.

- Make sure you know everything there needs to be known about his credit history!!
LooL credit history? Really?
yup. It's not number 1 but its in the top three deal breakers!
I came across this website with funny quotes on marriage and I realised something, all in all marriage will be a cold war, a poker game. You won't know and you can't know everything about the person you marry. You may go in with lovely ideas about love, soul-mates and forever but the reality of changing and potentially conflicting objectives. Faults that you find difficult to stomach, cracks that you can't conceal....it will be a test of your perseverance and ability to (in the midst of a storm) return back to hopefully core values that keep you anchored to each other

Just because your parents have had a long and happy marriage does not guarantee you the same

Marriage is the opposite of happily ever after. My conclusion on the subject is that it would be a case of cautiously and continuously communicating calculated chess moves and if you don't like chess well then you'll just keep getting divorced or figure that out and stay single

Makes you question if it's all even worth it. So West try as you may, there is no amount of preparation nor background checks that will give you any guarantee
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Re: Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

Post by Siciid85 »

My only regret:
Pissing away too much money. When we should have saved that money to get head start on future plans.

Pitfalls to watch out for; marrying someone who has criminal record. They can't find work easily so you will have to pick up the slack. Seen this one too many times
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Re: Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

Post by BlackVelvet »

Siciid85 wrote:marrying someone who has criminal record
I don't know a single person with a criminal record, wouldn't have even occurred to me :lupe:
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Re: Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

Post by MujahidAishah »

I have no regrets just should of left sooner.. If I listen to hoyo would still be stuck in a dead marriage stuck to my guns and found my happily ever after :blessed:
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Re: Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

Post by YummyMummy »

maa shaa Allah Aishah :clap:
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Re: Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

Post by DisplacedDiraac »

BlackVelvet wrote: I came across this website with funny quotes on marriage and I realised something, all in all marriage will be a cold war, a poker game. You won't know and you can't know everything about the person you marry. You may go in with lovely ideas about love, soul-mates and forever but the reality of changing and potentially conflicting objectives. Faults that you find difficult to stomach, cracks that you can't conceal....it will be a test of your perseverance and ability to (in the midst of a storm) return back to hopefully core values that keep you anchored to each other

Just because your parents have had a long and happy marriage does not guarantee you the same

Marriage is the opposite of happily ever after. My conclusion on the subject is that it would be a case of cautiously and continuously communicating calculated chess moves and if you don't like chess well then you'll just keep getting divorced or figure that out and stay single

Makes you question if it's all even worth it. So West try as you may, there is no amount of preparation nor background checks that will give you any guarantee

I agree. However I do believe that a successful marriage starts with a solid foundation with realistic expectations from both parties.

Romantic movies and novels have messed a lot of people up, I know marriage isn't all candles nor slow dances. It isn't an easy transition either but I do believe you can try and limit the damage or heartbreak by taking things slow and getting to know the whole person. By doing this I believe one will have less regrets.

Ruunti, I'm not even big on background checks I like to suss the person out myself through personal dealings with them or simply through observations (just to see hw he deals with his mother or those who can offer him nothing.).

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Re: Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

Post by BlackVelvet »

AishahWaqooyi wrote:I have no regrets just should of left sooner.. If I listen to hoyo would still be stuck in a dead marriage stuck to my guns and found my happily ever after :blessed:
:up:

Too many people stuck for too long in too unhappy. Takes courage to say enough :rose:


DisplacedDiraac wrote:I agree. However I do believe that a successful marriage starts with a solid foundation with realistic expectations from both parties.

Romantic movies and novels have messed a lot of people up, I know marriage isn't all candles nor slow dances. It isn't an easy transition either but I do believe you can try and limit the damage or heartbreak by taking things slow and getting to know the whole person. By doing this I believe one will have less regrets.

Ruunti, I'm not even big on background checks I like to suss the person out myself through personal dealings with them or simple through observations (how he deals with his mother or those who can offer him nothing).
All true but still....no guarantee. People show you what they want you to see

No matter what happens it won't kill you until you're dead :up:
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Re: Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

Post by yungnfresh »

DisplacedDiraac wrote: simply through observations (just to see hw he deals with his mother or those who can offer him nothing.)
I agree 100%.

People will always step into whatever light is the most impressive when they're trying to impress someone...to get a true sense of who someone actually is, watch how they treat people they have no obligation to be respectful towards (their server at a restaurant, employee at a store, receptionist, etc.). Also subtle things like whether they hold the door open for someone walking in behind them, take the time to glance at their watch/pull out their phone if someone they don't know asks them what time it is, give a lost stranger directions, etc.

It might not seem like much, but it speaks volumes to who someone is when no one's watching.
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Re: Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

Post by GAMES »

LooL so not only do you check their FICO credit score, but u also goto do a criminal background check?

LooL unbelievable.
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Re: Married or previously married people - in hindsight what would you have done differently?

Post by BlackVelvet »

yungnfresh wrote:
DisplacedDiraac wrote: simply through observations (just to see hw he deals with his mother or those who can offer him nothing.)
I agree 100%.

People will always step into whatever light is the most impressive when they're trying to impress someone...to get a true sense of who someone actually is, watch how they treat people they have no obligation to be respectful towards (their server at a restaurant, employee at a store, receptionist, etc.). Also subtle things like whether they hold the door open for someone walking in behind them, take the time to glance at their watch/pull out their phone if someone they don't know asks them what time it is, give a lost stranger directions, etc.

It might not seem like much, but it speaks volumes to who someone is when no one's watching.
Hey Yung, it's been quite a break you took. How's life been treating you?
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