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Ismahan,

The whole marriage talk never came up until this past fall. We were taking things day by day and not planning to rush into things. She did like the Somali culture and met a few of my extended family who for mistook her for being Somali based on looks alone.

I think that she might have been spooked at how recently I have become more active in Somali life and the fact her new Somali friend told her about how Somalis tend to do arranged marriages . So her suspicions became hightened when I started going out of town a lot & would be visiting more Somali families.

I don't consider it a waste of time to date someone at all. its a waste when you go into a relationship with the expectation of guur & not discuss it with the person.

Converting anyone is not my job. I believe it is better for her to become a Muslim because she wanted to do it & not cause of me. I know some really lovely Latina converts at the Masjid who found Islam on their own & others who converted cause of man. Guess which ones lasted longer in their faith, the ones who converted prior to meeting any Muslim man.

I definetely agree with you that its not waste of time to get to know someone. But it seems like you are not too concerned about her faith, like she is about yours. But again we have different views about interracial dating or marriage. I simply don't like it.

BTW, when you marry a non muslim,it become the reponsibility of the husband to convert her if he can. IF not, then their marriage is not legal.

I wish you all the best dear.

Ismahan,

Thanks for the well wishes.

I do get rather annoyed when sisters say, "You wasted my time."

WTF ! Is getting to know someone more a bad idea ? I think its great to get to know a person well before you jump into something & figure out that you are not compatible at all.

ABout the whole interracial thing, its just a matter of choice. As I get older, I do see the importance of being among your own hence my rekindled interest in Somali sisters esp. Sacad ones.

As I am now playing for guur, my outlook has changed from when I was playing to play.

AW

I agree getting to know a person is very important before you commite, and if thing don't work about than its betta find out sooner than later. I don't consider that a waste of time. Hopefully you will find someone that will share the struggles and the good time with you again.

Thanks Ismahan,

I am sure I will.

Btw: Why are u single ?

I'm a very difficult person to date...psych. I don't know, I broke up with someone like 5 months ago and just got busy with school.

Ismahan,

If u don't mind me asking why did you break up with him ?

1st of all let me tell you that I'm a very persistant person, and somali men don't seem to like that. He was S/land and we had different views on alot of things in life...including how to raise our kids and where to raise them. We also want to establish a business somewhere in Somalia , he suggested that we move to northside and I said hell no. Long story short, we were very different. So I said Ciao.

Ismahan,

How old was he ? Wasn't premature to be talking about going to Somalia, raising kids and what not ? After all, you are still young ?

SLand folks are weird. I got plenty of them as friends and their culture is very different. I do like their "realism" especially among their women. They are very liberal when it comes to personal relationships but there is only so much I can stand from the

HE was 28, just finished his MBA. He was the biggest supporter for S/land and wanted me to go with me to their occasions. It just felt it wasn't for me man. I don't like their culture, its too weird for me. Anyways, I was betta off this way. I used to have nightmares, about living in Hargiesa with all these qaldan folks that I dont understand and my kids being qaldans.

Ismahan,

So ever been with a Sacad man ?

AW

NO, never. I did have marriage proposals, that I didn't accept.

Cool...

So what is it about Sacad men that drove u away from them ?

I just did meet someone who I'm compatible with. The ones I knew just thought like "oh, she is educated and seems nice, I will ask her to marry me". They don't seem to be interested in the person in me or if we had mutual interests.

ismahan,

Was this back in MPLS or where u are now ?