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Re: Men Who Beat Their Wives!
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:19 am
by Leila2007
Koronto
[quote][/quote]In our culture, a woman would rather endure humiliation, mental & physical abuse then seek divorce, because of the stigma attached to being divorced. In addition, most breadwinners are the men and the only source of income for the wife comes from her abuser, by leaving she is afraid of not having that provision.
Very true and that is why Somalis should educate their daughters and faraxs should allow their wifes to work.
Re: Men Who Beat Their Wives!
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:19 am
by Koronto91
AW,
Did you ever hear the story about a Somali woman who got brutally murdered in Nairobi back in 1994 by her husband? Both she & her husband were Murusade, lived in Canada for over 20 years and decided to retire in Kenya. He was actually a relative of Qanyare and was never apprehended.
Re: Men Who Beat Their Wives!
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:20 am
by Somali_4Life
[quote="zulaika"][quote="Somali_4Life"]
@ the screw,if you dont do it she might go to a man who beats her ass.[/quote]
stupid farax...waryaa u was told to beat it up miyaa?..bacdan inantii feer iyo laad ku bilawdey miyaa? that's why she went to another farax miyaa?

[/quote]
I had two marriages. The first marriage failed because i was 'sweetboy' and nice. She left me for a man which every woman respects(it means,he beat their ass).I understand women now. Play the f u cking boss. Let them know who is tony montana.
Re: Men Who Beat Their Wives!
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:21 am
by Ashlee
[quote="Koronto91"]Ashlee,
Its not always that black & white, this issue has been researched & analyzed for decades and there still many unanswered questions as to why abused women remain with their abusers.
In our culture, a woman would rather endure humiliation, mental & physical abuse then seek divorce, because of the stigma attached to being divorced. In addition, most breadwinners are the men and the only source of income for the wife comes from her abuser, by leaving she is afraid of not having that provision.[/quote]
I guess it has a lot to do with the environment you grow up in. I'm not married, nor have I ever been married, so I can only go on the experiences of my relatives..And in my family, there's no shame/stigma associated with divorce.
I agree that men are the breadwinners of most families, but IMHO that isn't a good enough of an excuse (to stay in an abusive relationship). But, hey, what do I know...
Re: Men Who Beat Their Wives!
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:21 am
by AbdiWahab252
Koronto,
No. Never heard of that before.
But confirm this Old Wives tale:
"Ogaden women feel unloved if their husband doesn't beat them up."
Is this true or a false rumor ?
Re: Men Who Beat Their Wives!
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:21 am
by Leila2007
Abdi
Any man who lays a finger on my female relatives gets a visit from her male cousins for a through beatdown.
Most of them dont tell their relatives they get beaten in the first place.
Re: Men Who Beat Their Wives!
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:22 am
by HELWAA
Re: Men Who Beat Their Wives!
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:26 am
by Koronto91
AW,
Yh, probably back in my grandmother's time. She used to tell us tales about what it meant to be "Nin rag ah" in Ogaadeen culture. I hear in Hawadle culture, if a man doesn't beat his wife during the first night, then she leaves him and he is humiliated in front of his relatives.

@Helwaa,
Because they want to "safe the marriage", as if there is any marriage to safe!

Re: Men Who Beat Their Wives!
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:28 am
by Somali_4Life
[quote="Koronto91"]AW,
Yh, probably back in my grandmother's time. She used to tell us tales about what it meant to be "Nin rag ah" in Ogaadeen culture. I hear in Hawadle culture, if a man doesn't beat his wife during the first night, then she leaves him and he is humiliated in front of his relatives.

@Helwaa,
Because they want to "safe the marriage", as if there is any marriage to safe!

[/quote]
This beating is part of our culture.

We should be proud.
Re: Men Who Beat Their Wives!
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:29 am
by Hinda_Haldha
Dumarkan leh eritery itobiyan jamacain ayan jeclahay ee advice na siiya kuwa ayaa ku haboon in budh lalaa dhaco kudaafada
Re: Men Who Beat Their Wives!
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:30 am
by Gedo_Boy
I wouldn't beat her, but I hope she doesn't make me think of it.
Some women are just hell to live with. Hell I've seen some men get threatened and beat up themselves. Imagine talking to a male relative with bite marks saying: "I fell".....I have seen it
I would divorce her if I couldn't take it anymore or I would marry another wife. That might have the same effect as beating her

Just hope you don't get tested w/ an insane bij b/c that would be a hell on earth.
Re: Men Who Beat Their Wives!
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:31 am
by Hinda_Haldha
[quote="Gedo_Boy"]I wouldn't beat her, but I hope she doesn't make me think of it.
Some women are just hell to live with. Hell I've seen some men get threatened and beat up themselves. Imagine talking to a male relative with bite marks saying: "I fell".....I have seen it
I would divorce her if I couldn't take it anymore or I would marry another wife. That might have the same effect as beating her

Just hope you don't get tested w/ an insane bij b/c that would be a hell on earth.[/quote]
Gedo adigu maxad garaceeysa digsiigi ayadba kushiinka kula heysatayee allow yeeysan iyada ku garaciin
Re: Men Who Beat Their Wives!
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:31 am
by AbdiWahab252
Leila2007,
Ours do.
She places a call and 12 of us show up to give him a friendly warning.
We hung this dude over the balcony of his apartment after he hit my cousin.
From that day on, not even a harsh word was uttered by him.
Before any man marries my female relatives, we, the men sit down with him and tell him, "You don't own her. We don't abuse our women and we expect u not to do so."
Koronto:

Saxiib, I love these Old Wive's tales. Funny as shiid. There is one of my clan about women from each rer: one rer's women are like a house that you have a lease on but u never own, one rer has extremely aggressive women who are manly, another are like buffalo, u will see many of her relatives who will come over to live off you.
Re: Men Who Beat Their Wives!
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:32 am
by AbdiWahab252
Leila2007,
Ours do.
She places a call and 12 of us show up to give him a friendly warning.
We hung this dude over the balcony of his apartment after he hit my cousin.
From that day on, not even a harsh word was uttered by him.
Before any man marries my female relatives, we, the men sit down with him and tell him, "You don't own her. We don't abuse our women and we expect u not to do so."
Koronto:

Saxiib, I love these Old Wive's tales. Funny as shiid. There is one of my clan about women from each rer: one rer's women are like a house that you have a lease on but u never own, one rer has extremely aggressive women who are manly, another are like buffalo, u will see many of her relatives who will come over to live off you.
Re: Men Who Beat Their Wives!
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:34 am
by zulaika
[quote="HELWAA"]Horta what shocks me the most is back home when a man beat his wife and the women leave him the relatives comes back with her like nothing happend...cajiib.

[/quote]
helwaa,
nagaha back home when they go to their families after a serious beatdown session by their husbands, they are yelled at, beaten even at times for leaving their husbands and are returned back to their husband and he beats her again for running away to her family.
so what does a woman like that do? ....ah why yes.... the old boiling-pot method…works everytime. imisa jeer baa la gubey nin kibrey, korna ku kaadiyay. watchout now, hell hath no furry like a women scorned.
