Love and Marriage

[Nabeela]

Lol, I never said I don't believe in it, it's just that it's over rated, I have seen alot of folks who were so in looooooooooove, got married, but after the romantic mushy, mushy time was over, realized they were never in love to begin with, only rare people find that great, unconditional, fulfilling, indescribable love, and lots of folks find that love like lust that you and I are both guilty of lol

[Shirib]

Nabs,

do u want to be in love with someone before u marry them? If not what would u make the foundation of your marriage?

[Nabeela]

Shirib, before we get into all of that, define love for me, what is love?

[gemini_snake]

i don't know how people can say love doesn't exist. so you don't love allah? you don't love your parents? you don't love your siblings? if you have any children, you won't love them? if love can exist in those forms, why can't it exist between a husband and a wife?

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." ( 30:21)


to the op,
i don't think you can really love someone if you don't know everything about them so, no, love before marriage is not real love and just because two people are married and say they are in love doesn't mean they actually are. to me true love = 20+ yrs of marriage. a marriage can't last that long if there isn't any love..

[Shirib]

Nabs,

According to my friend,

love is a feeling that u cant live without the person, ur constantly putting there needs over yours. you smile when u talk or think about them a person u can tell the world to be completely honest not feel embarrassed or shy from put ur trust in them completely and know they'll come thru for u its uncompromising and selfless

[Shirib]

i don't know how people can say love doesn't exist. so you don't love allah? you don't love your parents? you don't love your siblings? if you have any children, you won't love them? if love can exist in those forms, why can't it exist between a husband and a wife?

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." ( 30:21)


to the op,
i don't think you can really love someone if you don't know everything about them so, no, love before marriage is not real love and just because two people are married and say they are in love doesn't mean they actually are. to me true love = 20+ yrs of marriage. a marriage can't last that long if there isn't any love..

well oh hot damn, it takes 20 years of being with someone to fall in love?

[gemini_snake]

well oh hot damn, it takes 20 years of being with someone to fall in love?

that's not what i meant.

"falling in love" is a process, "being in love" is a state, and "true love" takes hard work and time. you can fall out of love or decide you're not "in love" anymore, but true love is life-long.

[Enlightened~Sista]

Caashaq baa ku helay miya Shirib?

[HELWAA]

HELWAA

Don't you think you can develop strong affection and attachment to your husband beyond just understanding each-other and mutual respect?

Affection? what kinda of affection are you talking about?

As for the attachment, if couples get attached to eachother, how come they walk away so easy from eachother when things get tough?

It all comes down to ur valus and believs and how you've been brought up.If you never wittnesed how a marriage should be like in ur childhood it's hard to have a succesful marriage.
Personally i think once you've children you should put ur selfishness, happines and needs aside and do everything in ur power to make ur marriage work.If there is no abuse, humiliation or addictions or a loser who doesnt want work aynu sheekada ku jirin.

We sure have a completely different outlook on love and marriage.

Trust me, you will come to the same conclusions later in ur life.



Xamud

Ma shaqesyte ayaa aduunka ugu daran.Ilaahyo mu wadooyenka so xaadho maanta dhan,he have my respect aslong he provids for his family.

[Executive]

Helwa

Your husband will cheat on you marka Love is a deterrent for that, if you don't love him and he doesn't love you waxa la mid tahaay habalaha kaale oo suuqa joogo. If he's imaan is low wax ka celina ma jirto. Love maintenance a marriage and if there is no love in your marriage you have got a problem.

[DisplacedDiraac]

Love = Lust, Attachment, romantance, journey *going through stuff 2gether*...

For Muslims its only possible through *after* marriage!!

[1nemansquad]

Love exist before marriage and it also exist after marriage, being in-love brings too people together, loving each other keeps them together

[S-D-M]

Shirib,

Take some note from an old man..... Love is not real and people marry just to produce KIDS, LUST, or they feel lonely and they want ROOMMATE .

[1nemansquad]

lol, everyone who said love doesn't exist is putting on an act and trying to seem like a bad ass who doesn't feel anything; instead of them saying it doesn't exist, they could be honest with themselves and say 'i haven't found the real thing yet'

because when you do, believe me you will know it does exist

also those of you who said, love only comes after marriage ; bullocks mate (not true) .. it can also come before marriage, as well as during marriage and after 20+ years of marriage

[GeoDesic]

Ok forum is dead and I'm sick of hearing about Osama and siyaasad so lets switch the subject

So topic is love and marriage. What's the relationship? Should one be in love before they get married? Does love only come after marriage? Does love even exist?

Lets discuss

- Marriage can be the result of love
- One doesn't get to choose to fall in love before marriage, it happens naturally without plan, you see her, you like her, you come to know her, then you want her, that is how it goes. For some, they take the traditional route of arranged marriage because of their upbringing or philosophical views developed after experience. For the latter group, those who willfully choose marriage before feelings, they develop love after marriage. Their marriage changes from one of tradition and culture to attachment and common interest. It can also fail miserbaly.
- Yes, love exists, it is chemical in nature, and human beings are created with such emotion. It is already there in their fabric.