AmalJaber wrote:Teamo, no offense, but i think it would be ok to follow AW advice. Why do you want to get married? Loneliness? Sex? Children? I'm a Christian but i understand, doctrinally, divorce is much easier in Islam than in Christianity; however that doesn't make it any less painful.
Your desire to get someone who's spiritually mature when you have not matured half as him presents a problem..why haven't you been able to learn your deen? Is it because you don't have the resources? Iguess not. I Think it's because you've not had the passion and you think (wrongly in my opinion,) that this Sheikh will push you to learn. It may work in the first few months but after you stay with him and realize that he's not what you expected from a sheikh, you may get frustrtaed to realize that he can be cross, selfish, and as carnal as any somalinetter. Furthermore, it can be very difficult for him to run with you, when you are moving like a car and he's moving like a jet on spiritual matters.
Another very important question; why do you want an older man? If it's men grow slower than women so i nid someone who's mentally mature to measure up with my high mental age, then i think that's ok. But if you want an older man so that you can be the baby and cry on his chest, you're gravely mistaken. You may crave that when you are 19, but what happens when you're 26?
Let me ask you, how angry do you get? If you are the angry, angry type, you're probably still immature and the sheikh will get tired of you within three months. The kind of nonsense that a 16 year old boyfriend can tolerate is very different from what a 25 year old man can take, especially if he knows that he can divorce and come to Africa and pick a "well-bred" somali woman.
My .2
mashallah, inantan aqli badana! amal nin fi'an Allah ko sahlo adigaga.
for this powerful post? 
