Non Somali, wanting to Marry a Somali Girl

[DANGIRL]

I will give you sincere advice brother. Marry her. If you and the girl are happily in love, marry her. The father will eventually accept since the mother has accepted. The mother is the head of the household in Somali homes. They have the final say over the fathers in what happens. The mother will convince the father to accept.

ALSO, the father has no right to refuse you. It is not Islamic what he is doing. If you a good practicing Muslim, he can't refuse you to his daughter. This is cultural nonsense. It has nothing to do with Islam. He will come to terms to the marriage and he will eventually accept it.

I hope you BURN in hell.

[Advo]

I appreciate the Islamic knowledge brother zamindawari is dropping

[zamindawari]

I will give you sincere advice brother. Marry her. If you and the girl are happily in love, marry her. The father will eventually accept since the mother has accepted. The mother is the head of the household in Somali homes. They have the final say over the fathers in what happens. The mother will convince the father to accept.

ALSO, the father has no right to refuse you. It is not Islamic what he is doing. If you a good practicing Muslim, he can't refuse you to his daughter. This is cultural nonsense. It has nothing to do with Islam. He will come to terms to the marriage and he will eventually accept it.

I hope you BURN in hell.

I both understand and agree with your previous sentiment resenting any outside influence that may cause unnecessary damage to or strife within a family. However, wishing jahanum upon another Muslim falls into a category far beyond acceptable and demonstrates horrible adab in the least and demonstrates a grave violation of Islam at the worst. In Islam we are expected to maintain a certain level of etiquette or adab when dealing with other Muslims, no matter the level of disagreement. And really, it is only in times of disagreement that we even need to remember to watch our adab. Certainly we have no reason to exercise proper adab when everyone's in agreement and everything is great. But there is a hadith that I can't remember it's location but it is sahih that depicts a sentiment to the effect of, "to curse a believe is no different than killing him." In my view, cursing a believer is at least similar to killing him with respect to prohibition, guilt and deprivation. This is because cursing a momin is deprivation of the mercy of Allah azawajal, and killing is deprivation of life. In my view wishing jahanum upon a Muslim is the worst form of curse.

I appreciate the Islamic knowledge brother zamindawari is dropping

Thank you brother.

[Titanium]

Racists shouldn't be reasoned with zamindawari.

I am not for generally disobeying your father's wishes but you have to do what is right sometimes. It's against Islam. Plain and simple. If your parents become non-Muslims and force you to follow their ways, will you follow them? No. So why should you follow them when they engage in non-Islamic nonsense? If you give in to his demands, you are basically accepting racism. Racism is not allowed in Islam. It has more to do with standing up for the religion and less to do with disobeying the father.

zamindawari, here is one quality you should know about Somalis. Many like to pick and choose parts of the religion, for example exhibited here on this thread. People against interracial marriages. But 5 minutes later, you will see them supporting or rejecting something that islam also supports or rejects. Whatever suits them.

[InoCabdi]

this might be the same guy who asked this on ummah forum.......

[InoCabdi]

@ the OP

I would advise you not to ask advice here on somalinet. most of the people here are knuckleheads.

[zamindawari]

zamindawari, here is one quality you should know about Somalis. Many like to pick and choose parts of the religion, for example exhibited here on this thread. People against interracial marriages. But 5 minutes later, you will see them supporting or rejecting something that islam also supports or rejects.

To be honest, I would say this applies to all groups of Muslims that I have inner knowledge of. The masses are either completely Islamically illiterate or partially deficient and treat Islam as a build-your-own-plate buffet and use it to serve their own purpose when needed. In my personal experience and observation, anyone who at least makes an honest attempt not to engage in this is exceptional.

[Titanium]

Zamindawari,

It's great to have a debate on whether it's better to elope or if you should follow your fathers wishes. But for them it's not really about the father's wishes. They are just not interested in seeing mixed babies which explains the "burn in hell" comment. They hide behind "the father's wishes".

If we can't follow even the basic teachings of the religion, why follow it at all?

[zamindawari]

They are just not interested in seeing mixed babies which explains the "burn in hell" comment. They hide behind "the father's wishes".

They don't necessarily do a great job hiding behind a moral imperative. The more they speak, the more their agenda becomes obvious. Combine this with their behavior and treatment of other Muslims and it becomes clear what motivates them and it isn't Islam or a genuine moral imperative.

If we can't follow even the basic teachings of the religion, why follow it at all?

I agree.

[BlackVelvet]

There's an Afghani on SNet?

[salool]

There's an Afghani on SNet?

Ma hadaad ogaatey ..xita sawirkiisa runta ah ba avatar oo ahaan jiray.He is full of xikmah mashallah, always injoy reading his posts.

[BlackVelvet]

Anaga wax aragney. Haye, so Oromos were the usual, we have Kenyan, White, African-American and now Afghani.


Hashac

[waryaa]

try to get the Imam of the Masjid get involved a head of time and show him how good of a muslim you are. The day to meet her parents, Take the Imam with you and your father. It should go Kheir Insha allah.

Fight for your woman and add ^ to your arsenal :mrgeen: The biggest gun u need is her mother.

[Chinaman]

Brother this place is filled with trolls and is one of the worst places to come looking for "advice" from Somalis loool

[X.Playa]

Hi

My name is Yusuf I am a Half Arab half Cadaan guy that lives in Wales, I want to Marry a girl that is Isaac I am deeply in love with her but on a few occasions she has told me that it would be quite hard for her Father to accept me. I speak fluently Somali and I only learned the Language so I could communicate with her family in somali in the future. I really want to Marry her for the sake of all Allah and I know my Family will accept her as my mother already loves her to bits. I want to make it Halal can you guys give me you're view on this I would appreciate it.


Thanks

Firstly, it is important that I state that I am not Somali and therefore my views do not represent those of Somalis and may possibly even drastically contrast from Somalis in cultural worldview. (end disclaimer)
Secondly, this is none of my business but since you have chosen to make your private life a public affair by means of the internet and I read it, well... I do not know all of the details but I can affirm, based solely on what you have written here, that you are, at the very least, walking in and out of haram territory! While I am impressed and intrigued at your devotion in learning their language, this nonetheless, does not excuse an almost certainly illegal relationship. I am concerned and curious in how it is that you have managed to establish any form of relationship with someone's daughter whose father does not accept you?! In my culture, you do not speak to, look at, see the faces of, or come to know in ANY way our women until you first go through the men of the family and a meeting is arranged with both famalies in attendance. Yet here you are, and you've known her for such a time period that you have learned Somali and still her father does no accept you? Something in this picture is off and I'm not sure what it is. Does the father know that you communicate with his daughter? Or is this something that only occurs in the shadows? I will give you one thing, you have a lot nerve to publicly admit your continued relations with a Somali girl on a Somali forum, even behind the perceived safety of the internet. There's a word used in Dari, "sharm", that's something you would do well to acquire. It means shame.

Lay off this extremist drivel no wonder in your country you have the Dancing Hairless Boys, with this "flower guarding Arab obsession" no wonder your hairy sister cant find a man unless her daddy find for for her. There is no shame in a woman going out in the world finding here mate, or a man. This Salafi craze of yours doesn't work in the real world. In Afghanistan its obvious this women-watching-guarding culture impeded the progress of your womenfolk , so its obvious its n't working.

So what if you take a woman to lunch , 99% of human relations begins with secrets , no man goes to the father without seen the daughter and says i want your daughter , unless you are living in 5th century Arabia, even in Arabia what you read in these Salafi books is further from the truth, most men and women meet somehow and after lengthy relationship decide to marry or go apart. Not seen the woman , not talking to her , and not even hearing her voice is not a healthy culture, and thats why in Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia bacha bazi is almost cultural.