Divorce - Why are guys complaining?

[BlackVelvet]

Alimony is part of Islam. In the shafi'i madhab you have to support your ex I forget the conditions. somalis obviously heard it first in the West

It makes sense, at least for a time.

What is said and how you understand it...you are really shook breh

I read that in some states, if a man owns property and then gets married and raises his own kids in that property it can be taken away from him in the event of divorce. And it's HIS house, his name on it.

My pops friend is going through a divorce right now, and my dad went to court with him numerous times. Let me just tell you this......grown men break down in tears and cry like little babies after the court was done with them.

shyts purely demonic breh

Well let's break it down.

The kids should not be uprooted, therefore they live in the same house. The primary care taker therefore also lives in that house. You wanted her to be a stay at home mum (for argument's sake) therefore how is she supposed to afford the mortgage repayment? Mwahahahaha damn this is kinda evil. You pay the mortgage and your rent shit, LMAO well that's one to ensure you never get married more than once

To be honest it is unfair when taken to that extent however a single mother with X number of kids is also not a good look. Courts blatantly favouring one over the other is also not fair.

But I stick by my earlier assertion, not talking about what happens if you get divorced is a risk not worth taking, especially as a man it seems.

[Niya]

Hmmmm.....I wonder what AbdiWahaab thinks about the topic since he comes across as an expert in the field??

[Insomniac]

If I was a man, I'd be shook of divorce too. With regards to alimony, there's no reason to financially supporting your ex spouse. Who cares what sort of lifestyle they're accustomed to while married With custody, 9 times out of 10, full custody is given to the mother. Imagine seeing your kids 365 then after a divorce, you only get to see your kid(s) for a few hours in a week, and the occassional weekend sleep over? Child support is a must though Only problem is you can't guarantee that the money is being spent on the child

We shouldn't kid ourselves into thinking every mother is benevolent and have their children's interests at heart There are spiteful women who use the system against their exes.

TRUTH.

[Hyperactive]

Alimony is part of Islam. In the shafi'i madhab you have to support your ex I forget the conditions. somalis obviously heard it first in the West

just first 3 months , until 3edah ends, and you can hire her to breast feed your kid if she agrees. if she refuses you hire (another woman) to breast feed your child. that was old age there were no masaasad iyo formula. now you can feed the kid masasad.

she isnt obligated to take care of kids. you either pay for her to take care of them or you hire another woman, these days is nanny.

[FAH1223]

Well let's break it down.

The kids should not be uprooted, therefore they live in the same house. The primary care taker therefore also lives in that house. You wanted her to be a stay at home mum (for argument's sake) therefore how is she supposed to afford the mortgage repayment? Mwahahahaha damn this is kinda evil. You pay the mortgage and your rent shit, LMAO well that's one to ensure you never get married more than once

To be honest it is unfair when taken to that extent however a single mother with X number of kids is also not a good look. Courts blatantly favouring one over the other is also not fair.

But I stick by my earlier assertion, not talking about what happens if you get divorced is a risk not worth taking, especially as a man it seems.

Long story short, the man had to pay $74,000 to settle his case, plus child support which was $2,000 plus a month. He lost the house that was in his name that he paid nearly all the mortgage off.

The most messed up part though was when the judge told him he couldn't stay at the house anymore, and would therefore have to find a new place to live.

I'll never forget this.......The man asked the judge "where am I suppose to stay?"

The judge told him

"That's not my problem."

And then the man broke down.

My dad told me this and I was .. he worked his whole life and now all of that is gone cause of one woman.

Now he is still has to pay his mortgage and his wife will probably re-marry and that nigga will stay in his own crib. It is evil!

[BlackVelvet]

The man asked the judge "where am I suppose to stay?"

The judge told him

"That's not my problem."

Ok that's harsh

[Hyperactive]

fah as somalis we shouldn't even worry about that. maryooley, do not invest that much in the west. why takea morgage to begging with! rent property and once you divorce, just give notice and get hell out of it. quit your job and leave the whole place. easy.

[zulaika]

Finally, if I got a dollar for every time one of you said how you would expect your wife to stay at home, I would have made more than the 52 week saving thing. You can't have your cake and eat it too, if she (or he) stayed at home to take care of you and your kids then don't be a prick, you owe it to them to help them get back on their feet.

so u saying if she worked 52 weeks saved some money..come divorce.. he can use that money against her to wager what he can pay for child support? he's eating the cake huuno and more if it cuz she split the bill with him during the marraige by working

[FAH1223]

fah as somalis we shouldn't even worry about that. maryooley, do not invest that much in the west. why takea morgage to begging with! rent property and once you divorce, just give notice and get hell out of it. quit your job and leave the whole place. easy.

hyper, the thing is, rent is more expensive than 'owning' a property... plus landlords can jack up rents eventually.

In this economy, you could have a mortgage on a fixed rate which is half that of a rent... thats just the reality right now. But renting is more flexible.

[Keyblade]

Well let's break it down.

The kids should not be uprooted, therefore they live in the same house. The primary care taker therefore also lives in that house. You wanted her to be a stay at home mum (for argument's sake) therefore how is she supposed to afford the mortgage repayment? Mwahahahaha damn this is kinda evil. You pay the mortgage and your rent shit, LMAO well that's one to ensure you never get married more than once

To be honest it is unfair when taken to that extent however a single mother with X number of kids is also not a good look. Courts blatantly favouring one over the other is also not fair.

But I stick by my earlier assertion, not talking about what happens if you get divorced is a risk not worth taking, especially as a man it seems.

Long story short, the man had to pay $74,000 to settle his case, plus child support which was $2,000 plus a month. He lost the house that was in his name that he paid nearly all the mortgage off.

The most messed up part though was when the judge told him he couldn't stay at the house anymore, and would therefore have to find a new place to live.

I'll never forget this.......The man asked the judge "where am I suppose to stay?"

The judge told him

"That's not my problem."

And then the man broke down.

My dad told me this and I was .. he worked his whole life and now all of that is gone cause of one woman.

Now he is still has to pay his mortgage and his wife will probably re-marry and that nigga will stay in his own crib. It is evil!

What is this "marriage" you all speak of?

[Insomniac]

After a divorce;

Men
-Lose car
-Lose house
-Lose fulltime contact with kids
-Live out of a suitcase in a motel
-Probably some other man seeing your kids more than you.

Women
-Gain a car
-Gain a house
-Deprive the dad of his kids and tell them stories about how shit he was.
-Get paid to maintain lifestyle
-Get paid to whore herself out to other niggers.

Kids
-Fatherless kids
-Become niggerised and gangsters but it is ok, nothing some dhaqan celis can't fix.

Bitches are running a racket. Marriage is a scam and anyone who falls for it, deserves it. Want lessons on how to treat family and women? Watch the Jamaicans. Anything less than a Jamaican lifestyle, in the west, means you will lose. Bitches are home wreckers. Spiteful creatures that don't deserve an inch.

[Hyperactive]

then put the contract both names. so you wont stuck with it alone if any thing went wrong. no question you have to pay for your kids, (what you can) after your expenses. and i believe if after you pay what is rightful and dont agree more. well, i would run for my life.

[Hyperactive]

in Islam each rights after divorce is clear in surat altalaq: 6,7

أَسْكِنُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ سَكَنْتُمْ مِنْ وُجْدِكُمْ وَلَا تُضَارُّوهُنَّ لِتُضَيِّقُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ وَإِنْ كُنَّ أُولَاتِ حَمْلٍ فَأَنْفِقُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ حَتَّىٰ يَضَعْنَ حَمْلَهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَرْضَعْنَ لَكُمْ فَآتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ وَأْتَمِرُوا بَيْنَكُمْ بِمَعْرُوفٍ وَإِنْ تَعَاسَرْتُمْ فَسَتُرْضِعُ لَهُ أُخْرَىٰ
Let the women live (in 'iddat) in the same style as you live, according to your means: Annoy them not, so as to restrict them. And if they carry (life in their wombs), then spend (your substance) on them until they deliver their burden: and if they suckle your (offspring), give them their recompense: and take mutual counsel together, according to what is just and reasonable. And if ye find yourselves in difficulties, let another woman suckle (the child) on the (father's) behalf.

لِيُنْفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِنْ سَعَتِهِ وَمَنْ قُدِرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقُهُ فَلْيُنْفِقْ مِمَّا آتَاهُ اللَّهُ لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا مَا آتَاهَا سَيَجْعَلُ اللَّهُ بَعْدَ عُسْرٍ يُسْرًا

Let the man of means spend according to his means: and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. After a difficulty, Allah will soon grant relief.

most muslim men dont even do that , leave alone that western child support.

[BlackVelvet]

Let the women live (in 'iddat) in the same style as you live, according to your means:

Is this saying to maintain her lifestyle i.e. as it was while she was married to the man?

so u saying if she worked 52 weeks saved some money..come divorce.. he can use that money against her to wager what he can pay for child support? he's eating the cake huuno and more if it cuz she split the bill with him during the marraige by working

Yes, she would be more capable of looking after herself and therefore need less from him. On the other hand if she'd stayed at home, let him pay the whole bill then of course she'd need and probably demand a heck of a lot more. The irony here is that there's a lot of men who want the stay at home wife and yet don't want to pay up when it goes south. It's one or the other. To be honest if a woman's life re. her ability to look after herself wasn't adversely affected after the end of marriage then I don't see any reason why she should claim alimony.

[Hyperactive]

Let the women live (in 'iddat) in the same style as you live, according to your means:

Is this saying to maintain her lifestyle i.e. as it was while she was married

same lifestyle he lives while she is in "iddah" if she is not pregnant is 3 months ( 3 monthly cycle) to make sure she is not pregnant. if she is pregnant is until she gave the birth.

so in islam not allowed to kick her from the house until iddah finishes both pregnant until she had the baby, and none pregnant, 3 female monthly cycle , if she gets it , young woman. or 3 month the old women that do not get monthly cycle.

the aayah says; let her live where you live.

they used to kick out the house , the minute they divorce her. now i guess in the west is opposite, guy who kicked out the house.