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Re: Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 5:38 pm
by jalaaludin5
Euphoriia wrote:LiquidHYDROGEN wrote:I like how xaliimos are like "If he ain't providing for me his bitch ass can keep walking bla bla bla" when the man is a faarax. But if he's an ajnabi on welfare and no qualifications, they are the most obedient and respectful wives.
No nigga that aint true fxxk outta here with that bs.You people are obsesses with ajanabis. This topic had nothing to do with them, why bring them up?
Ajanabi aa nigu waasa 
Abaayoo rephrase that noh...
Re: Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 5:44 pm
by LiquidHYDROGEN
Looks like I struck a nerve.
Re: Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 5:45 pm
by Amira143
Re: Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 5:48 pm
by sahal80
Marriage is about commitment and dedication so if one of them can do better in such situations is great
I don't think a real man will let his wife feed him but this guy may has some new problems such as depression or low-self esteem so she should help him to come over it meantime let him do all the house work until he gets better.
Re: Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 5:51 pm
by zulaika
BeyondQabil wrote:I think the problem with us is that we've become extremely materialistic. Of late, I've come to see that plenty of the things that we do in this life are all vanity. The women like to compare themselves with others. What I think is important is that both the man and the woman should be living their calling.
I believe that both should work towards providing necessities and basic comforts for their families. Beyond that, what matters most is the vision of the couple.
The guy should work - so long as his heart is in his vision. Not necessarily have a job, but he should work to provide for the family. So long as he meets the basic needs. Beyond that, his calling is most important. Your husbands calling may be to run a children's home/orphanage. This will require more giving than receiving. Unfortunately, women generally tend to think so much about comparing themselves with others. Was recently talking to a 12-year-old Congolese girl, and she was saying how much she wants her husband to be a doctor, lawyer and Engineer. Already, she's limited her future to "form" that was probably provided by her mother.
All in all, life is too short to worry about superficial things like money/job (for women) and beauty (for men.)
He gives more than he receives, he is selfless and charitable. What a catch! Seems to me a man like that will tirelessly effort to sustain the material(not superficial) as well as spiritual wellbeing of his wife & children.
As for a wife providing for her husband.. If she is happy to do this and they are in agreement, then bravo! There are some women who live in reverse role households where the husband stays at home taking care of the kids while wife works.
I personally cannot be happy with such state of affairs in my house, but I also strongly object to interfering, critically or otherwise, the means to which a couple choose to "sustain" their marriage, so long as it's within legal framework.
Re: Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 6:15 pm
by sahal80
They can find some solution
One of my relatives has a wife who works full time
He works only on the week end and is responsible for paying the bills while they save her money
He looks after her parents, takes to and brings the kids from the schools
They share the house work
In the weekend she looks after the house
They r very happy with it.
Re: Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 6:25 pm
by SiennaEarth
jalaaludin5 wrote:Euphoriia wrote:LiquidHYDROGEN wrote:I like how xaliimos are like "If he ain't providing for me his bitch ass can keep walking bla bla bla" when the man is a faarax. But if he's an ajnabi on welfare and no qualifications, they are the most obedient and respectful wives.
No nigga that aint true fxxk outta here with that bs.You people are obsesses with ajanabis. This topic had nothing to do with them, why bring them up?
Ajanabi aa nigu waasu
Abaayoo rephrase that noh...
omg so embarrassing.
It's too late to edit, anyways you know what I meant.
Re: Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 6:26 pm
by SiennaEarth
.
Re: Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 6:40 pm
by Idman702
At the end of the day love won't buy me diamond ring, love won't take me to exotic places. A man has to provide in order to marry me.
Re: Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 6:58 pm
by 1nemansquad
EvolSyawla wrote:People get married because they have aspirations of having a family, sustaining love etc. But in some circumstances, it ends up being only the woman working.
For women out there, would you be willing to stay in such a marriage? Considering you love him alot - he speaks the local language fluently, he is educated, can drive and all things considered, can do well for himself. But just isn't motivated to help out financially? He expresses love, is polite and sweet to you and takes care of the house with you. Is your love for him enough to overlook this? And for how long?
Men - Would a woman with such expectations of you bringing a paycheck to the household be considered a 'gold digger'?
i've never seen such circumstance where only the woman works in a marriage, my family, friends and people i know everyone works including the women and that is how i prefer. no man should stay home while his wife is out working, there is no honor in that.
Re: Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 7:52 pm
by Smile-LiKe-SuN-RiSE
That type of guy is less of a man.
If u want to live off ur wife's check..drop ur effing balls and wear a skirt.
Re: Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2015 8:06 pm
by HorseedS
Re: Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 1:55 am
by EvolSyawla
I think it's a Somali ideal, no one could fathom their sisters/daughters marrying a man who wouldn't step up for them, but reality is, there are ALOT of sisters going through this.
I think the divorce rates in Somali communities are ever increasing though, because women are realizing that they want to move forward in life...and most faaraxs just aren't willing to do the work with them.
Marrying a woman with financial goals on her mind ... does that intimidate you?
Re: Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 1:57 am
by LobsterUnit
nah.80 percent of somalis in the diaspora were raised on caydh. god bless aabo benefits. he was there when nobody else was.
Re: Should it be conditional for a man to have a job to sustain marriage?
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 2:05 am
by EvolSyawla
sahal80 wrote:They can find some solution
One of my relatives has a wife who works full time
He works only on the week end and is responsible for paying the bills while they save her money
He looks after her parents, takes to and brings the kids from the schools
They share the house work
In the weekend she looks after the house
They r very happy with it.
Nice.
He pays the bills with his weekend paycheck? MashaAllah. They comprimise...but that means her paycheck is the real breadwinner. Or else he would insist on working during the week. When do they get time together? Waxaas nolol maha..
1nemansquad wrote:i've never seen such circumstance where only the woman works in a marriage, my family, friends and people i know everyone works including the women and that is how i prefer. no man should stay home while his wife is out working, there is no honor in that.
I think you have. Why would a couple broadcast their financial status? Knowing some people consider an unworking man (even if he does everything else - doesn't that count for something?) to be less of a man? lol as
Smile said,, it's looked at as being feminine generally.
