So my mother is finally back.

Theguardian · Post by **Theguardian** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 12:18 pm

Inaayah wrote:Do men just turn up unannounced at the girls house with their dad ama brother when they are asking for her hand in marriage? (Considering labada qof already talk and wada tashaday?)

Like that's mad weird.

I'd tell my Hooyo, like Hooyo macaane inan ban is baranay oo an is lee yahay waa inan wanaagsan oo guur iyo mustaqbal rajaynaya (tell him a little about the guy and his background) ka dib I'd tell her they want to meet with Abo on so and so day so they can sit down and all talk so can you tell Abo.

I don't see any ceeb in that, besides waa wax lagu farxo.

Did I say they were gonna turn-up unannounced - or was this directed at someone else?

Obviously I have to tell my mum first, then he will tell his family and then they call my mum and arrange date and time (that's what he just told me)
I am still struggling breaking the news to my mum.

Cherine · Post by **Cherine** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 12:21 pm

Mabruuk guardian. Tell your Mum, and your Mum will tell ya what the next step will be.

Theguardian · Post by **Theguardian** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 12:26 pm

AGENT447 wrote:Masha allah your mother must be a strong woman. I understand what you mean, your mothers say and blessing is invaluable in this situation. But I am just detecting a hint of uncertainty in your tone. You have to already assume that your mother will like the fella and give you her blessings. I mean your mother trusts your judgment after all and knows that u would not go for a guy that she wouldn't like or approve of.

Anyway just go ahead then and introduce them but in a different setting.
Good luck, congrats and insha allah hope it all goes to plan

She very strong and opinionated.

I am quite nervous about her meeting him because I think she will think he is not religious enough (my mum is not overly religious but she always advised us to choose for religion above all).
Or that he is too westernized - and not into the Somali cultured - (am not -she tried but I rebelled)
so I am hopeful but worried - thanks though. Appreciate it.

Theguardian · Post by **Theguardian** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 12:28 pm

Cherine wrote:Mabruuk guardian. Tell your Mum, and your Mum will tell ya what the next step will be.

Thanks

Waiting for few people to leave and I will get it over done with -

Cherine · Post by **Cherine** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 12:32 pm

You're welcome

Sumubaridi · Post by **Sumubaridi** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 12:49 pm

Guardian,

What do you mean he is not religious? Does he not pray the salah? if he does not pray the salah, ofcourse he cannot marry you because nikah on tarik kusalah is not valid. its like Zinah. If he prays the salah, all you need to tell him is to dress up like he is going for an interview. Make sure he prays atleast one salah that day in your mom's house. Don't remind him to pray let him ask your mom if he can get a masalah. In the somali society, if he pray salah, he is religious, if he wears khamiis, he is sheikh.

If he is Habargidir, he needs to bring caano geel, if he is mareexaan he needs to bring khuule, if he is abgaal, he needs to bring Bun iyo daango, and if he is isaaq, Khat is fine if you have a chewing relative. If he is Ogaden, caano boore is enough

Post by **FAH1223** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 12:52 pm

Sumubaridi wrote:Guardian,

What do you mean he is not religious? Does he not pray the salah? if he does not pray the salah, ofcourse he cannot marry you because nikah on tarik kusalah is not valid. its like Zinah. If he prays the salah, all you need to tell him is to dress up like he is going for an interview. Make sure he prays atleast one salah that day in your mom's house. Don't remind him to pray let him ask your mom if he can get a masalah. In the somali society, if he pray salah, he is religious, if he wears khamiis, he is sheikh.

If he is Habargidir, he needs to bring caano geel, if he is mareexaan he needs to bring khuule, if he is abgaal, he needs to bring Bun iyo daango, and if he is isaaq, Khat is fine if you have a chewing relative. If he is Ogaden, caano boore is enough

all around

Inaayah · Post by **Inaayah** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 12:55 pm

Theguardian wrote:
Inaayah wrote:Do men just turn up unannounced at the girls house with their dad ama brother when they are asking for her hand in marriage? (Considering labada qof already talk and wada tashaday?)

Like that's mad weird.

I'd tell my Hooyo, like Hooyo macaane inan ban is baranay oo an is lee yahay waa inan wanaagsan oo guur iyo mustaqbal rajaynaya (tell him a little about the guy and his background) ka dib I'd tell her they want to meet with Abo on so and so day so they can sit down and all talk so can you tell Abo.

I don't see any ceeb in that, besides waa wax lagu farxo.

Did I say they were gonna turn-up unannounced - or was this directed at someone else?

Obviously I have to tell my mum first, then he will tell his family and then they call my mum and arrange date and time (that's what he just told me)
I am still struggling breaking the news to my mum.

It wasn't directed at you love.

Theguardian · Post by **Theguardian** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 1:04 pm

Sumubaridi wrote:Guardian,

What do you mean he is not religious? Does he not pray the salah? if he does not pray the salah, ofcourse he cannot marry you because nikah on tarik kusalah is not valid. its like Zinah. If he prays the salah, all you need to tell him is to dress up like he is going for an interview. Make sure he prays atleast one salah that day in your mom's house. Don't remind him to pray let him ask your mom if he can get a masalah. In the somali society, if he pray salah, he is religious, if he wears khamiis, he is sheikh.

If he is Habargidir, he needs to bring caano geel, if he is mareexaan he needs to bring khuule, if he is abgaal, he needs to bring Bun iyo daango, and if he is isaaq, Khat is fine if you have a chewing relative. If he is Ogaden, caano boore is enough

You're so funny!! Not a chewer.
He prays but he looks/dresses like a banker and his afSomali is little bit better than mine. She wants someone who can "better me" in that sense. I don't want him to change his personality for the meeting- I want her to like him as he is like I do.

Would you believe me if I told I don't know what his clan is?
I have to tell him mine because he told his mum about me and his mother asked him to find out last week I think - but I don't think he is issaq.

PharaohLiban · Post by **PharaohLiban** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 1:05 pm

is the guy a bitch nigga? it is Somali culture for the male to properly ask the father or male relative for the hand in marriage, your mom is irrelevant in this matter. Learn the culture and stop being gaalo.

Theguardian · Post by **Theguardian** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 1:10 pm

PharaohLiban wrote:is the guy a bitch nigga? it is Somali culture for the male to properly ask the father or male relative for the hand in marriage, your mom is irrelevant in this matter. Learn the culture and stop being gaalo.

In your world maybe but not in my mine -
Thanks for the colourful input though

salool · Post by **salool** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 1:15 pm

Theguardian wrote:
Sumubaridi wrote:Guardian,

What do you mean he is not religious? Does he not pray the salah? if he does not pray the salah, ofcourse he cannot marry you because nikah on tarik kusalah is not valid. its like Zinah. If he prays the salah, all you need to tell him is to dress up like he is going for an interview. Make sure he prays atleast one salah that day in your mom's house. Don't remind him to pray let him ask your mom if he can get a masalah. In the somali society, if he pray salah, he is religious, if he wears khamiis, he is sheikh.

If he is Habargidir, he needs to bring caano geel, if he is mareexaan he needs to bring khuule, if he is abgaal, he needs to bring Bun iyo daango, and if he is isaaq, Khat is fine if you have a chewing relative. If he is Ogaden, caano boore is enough

You're so funny!! Not a chewer.
He prays but he looks/dresses like a banker and his afSomali is little bit better than mine. She wants someone who can "better me" in that sense. I don't want him to change his personality for the meeting- I want her to like him as he is like I do.

Would you believe me if I told I don't know what his clan is?
I have to tell him mine because he told his mum about me and his mother asked him to find out last week I think - but I don't think he is issaq.

You dont know his qabiil and you're about to marry this guy...

Theguardian · Post by **Theguardian** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 1:22 pm

^^^ what difference does it make? I love him not his clan- I don't care.

Post by **FAH1223** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 1:23 pm

salool wrote:
You dont know his qabiil and you're about to marry this guy...

Is this still a thing?

Theguardian · Post by **Theguardian** » Mon Aug 24, 2015 1:24 pm

Inaayah wrote:
Theguardian wrote:
Inaayah wrote:Do men just turn up unannounced at the girls house with their dad ama brother when they are asking for her hand in marriage? (Considering labada qof already talk and wada tashaday?)

Like that's mad weird.

I'd tell my Hooyo, like Hooyo macaane inan ban is baranay oo an is lee yahay waa inan wanaagsan oo guur iyo mustaqbal rajaynaya (tell him a little about the guy and his background) ka dib I'd tell her they want to meet with Abo on so and so day so they can sit down and all talk so can you tell Abo.

I don't see any ceeb in that, besides waa wax lagu farxo.

Did I say they were gonna turn-up unannounced - or was this directed at someone else?

Obviously I have to tell my mum first, then he will tell his family and then they call my mum and arrange date and time (that's what he just told me)
I am still struggling breaking the news to my mum.
It wasn't directed at you love.

Thanks sis I was bit confuse about that bit rest of advice is helpful and will be using some of it.

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