HOTEL BOSASO PART II: THE JOURNEY

[Kamal35]

Really well written, AW. But there's a big failure in the story: The brave journalist Kamal35 doesn't appear starring the story and leading all the characters...

[Padishah]

I'm not sure what to make of it.

[Basra-]

Abdi


Ok here is my two cents. The writing obviously is excellent, i like your dialogue structures, and your grammar constructions. I also like that you write about a subject you are familiar with--colonels and the war in xamar obviously is something you like-- and can write about better than anyone. But to me--it was not so captivating. For me-- i need to be captivated, immediately after i read the first sentence or paragraph. Also i always suggest one to have an edge in their creative writing. My edge is to be purposely funny, specialize is satirical comedy with a twist of psychological insight.(in plain English, create a mischivious image in the readers mind, while bawling with laughter) Thats why i think my readers call it- 'riveting' when reading my work. LOL The adjective 'riveting' is poignant for every writer to hear- it literally rewards the writer with all scholarlistic accolades.



Overall i thought the story was pedantic and charming.

[michael_ital]

While on the subject of critique. I find with your works, My Dear Basra, I usually skim through, looking for my name. If it isn't there...

But Abdi, he has me hanging on every word. My 2 Somali shillings. : )

[Basra-]

Meeeeeeeeeeeeuuuwwwwwwwwwww Mikey! Scratch! Why are u being catty? Shame on u!

[michael_ital]

@ "catty" just an honest assessment, My Dear Basra

[PragmaticGal]

Where's part 1 so I can catch up?

[michael_ital]

[quote="PragmaticGal"]:lol:

Where's part 1 so I can catch up?[/quote]

viewtopic.php?f=18&t=96497