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Really well written, AW. But there's a big failure in the story: The brave journalist Kamal35 doesn't appear starring the story and leading all the characters...

I'm not sure what to make of it.

Abdi


Ok here is my two cents. The writing obviously is excellent, i like your dialogue structures, and your grammar constructions. I also like that you write about a subject you are familiar with--colonels and the war in xamar obviously is something you like-- and can write about better than anyone. But to me--it was not so captivating. For me-- i need to be captivated, immediately after i read the first sentence or paragraph. Also i always suggest one to have an edge in their creative writing. My edge is to be purposely funny, specialize is satirical comedy with a twist of psychological insight.(in plain English, create a mischivious image in the readers mind, while bawling with laughter) Thats why i think my readers call it- 'riveting' when reading my work. LOL The adjective 'riveting' is poignant for every writer to hear- it literally rewards the writer with all scholarlistic accolades.



Overall i thought the story was pedantic and charming.

While on the subject of critique. I find with your works, My Dear Basra, I usually skim through, looking for my name. If it isn't there...

But Abdi, he has me hanging on every word. My 2 Somali shillings. : )

Meeeeeeeeeeeeuuuwwwwwwwwwww Mikey! Scratch! Why are u being catty? Shame on u!

@ "catty" just an honest assessment, My Dear Basra

Where's part 1 so I can catch up?

[quote="PragmaticGal"]:lol:

Where's part 1 so I can catch up?[/quote]

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