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I don't blame him.....she need to get a job.

Bal waxa ay naagahaan iska dhaadhicinaayaan Maqal shit fowqal shit baad tihiin. Ninka lacagta maadinkaa udhiibtay mise waajib uga dhigay? reerka gabar ayuu kaguursaday ayada ayaana waajib kasaaran yahay. walaalkeey biil kulahaa walaalkeed maxaa iga galay aniga. Wallaahi walaalkeed is like Muslinka kale oo sadaqada lasiiyo. hadii aan haayo oo u awoodo waan siinaah like other muslims.

walaalkeey lacag udir hadii idhahdo ama ifur, walaalkaa anigaa waso aan dhahaa.

he is not responsible for her relatives, as long rerkisa ka adagyahay.
but as courtesy , he should help his waife`s relative, if he could.
or se nahares ah ugu sheego ino wah hada haynin.

she should safe from masrofka for her needy family if she wants to send money.

walllahi that is too sad!! shit ayadaa ka'daran for marrying nin deegsi aheen!!!

Gacalisa wrote:walllahi that is too sad!! shit ayadaa ka'daran for marrying nin deegsi aheen!!!

naa xagee iga urisay?!
that's what i said....must b an Ohio thing

naa ohio'nimo ma'hee is basic somali cutlure!! somaalideena gabdhaha all we want is nin deegsi ah!!

mahdi01 wrote:So, some of you said “if he is not willing to send the money every month she should ask divorce” is that a solution or you just exacerbating it? Which one the Islam gave priority the spouse or the relatives?

First of all $200 or even $1000 that is given to brother inlaw is not a problem, but when it becomes routine every month, and it starts effecting my budget, yes I will raise a question and that will be simply “we will send to your brother whatever our budget allows for”

You have to remember after all there is no hadith or verse in the Qur’an says you have to give such and such your inlaws every month or year, this is Somali culture thing and even our closest people the Arabs and muslim Africans don’t resort it. It is not gacan adeyg, So adinkana Gabdho bal nimanka u aayara, dhibkii ayaad ka badiseene kii fiicnaa ee shaqeysanaayey ee ilmihiisa iyo reerkiisa dhaqanaayeyna ma waxaa dusha laga saarayaa howl uusan awoodi karin

exactly, once in a while is no big deal... but every single month...i was not aware that you suddenly become responsible for every single person of a chick's family when you marry them

talk about unrealistic expectation

Gacalisa wrote:

naa ohio'nimo ma'hee is basic somali cutlure!! somaalideena gabdhaha all we want is nin deegsi ah!!

people on snet consider this gold diggin

^nah its putting all your eggs in one basket

smh @ relying on a man, hes supposed to take care of you, but relying on him 100%? smh

or a man relying on a woman smh

the purpose is to be self-sufficient

FAH1223 wrote:^nah its putting all your eggs in one basket

smh @ relying on a man

or a man relying on a woman

the purpose is to be self-sufficient

how? cuz a woman should not rely on a man for anything??

suga_n_spice wrote: how? cuz a woman should not rely on a man for anything??

nope, her existence should not be relying on a man

smh @ you putting all your eggs in one basket

FAH1223 wrote:^nah its putting all your eggs in one basket

smh @ relying on a man, hes supposed to take care of you, but relying on him 100%? smh

or a man relying on a woman smh

the purpose is to be self-sufficient

TRUE..U SHUDNT BE TOTALLY DEPENDENT ON HIM INCASE THINGS GO WRONG

hyperactive wrote: he is not responsible for her relatives, as long rerkisa ka adagyahay.
but as courtesy , he should help his waife`s relative, if he could.

hyper you dont know somalis saaxib, this not a specific incident where family needs money.
this could also mean like sending permanently 200 USD or more monthly for years to come....thats fuked up man.

Not to be rude but I've noticed its the weakest dumbest , lowest educated Farahs who often gets arranged marriage back home with a local girl.
There are of course exceptions for this stereotype.. but if you are marrying a local girl from perhaps clan or exstended family.
You should take this into your calculations that her family might also depend on you later..

microfinance would not probably work in Somalia in practice.
Unless it involves poultry , livestock , farming , sewing machine and simple stuff like that.
But Somalia is not Bangladesh, 25 USD is nothing there... perhaps minimum loans of 500 , 1000 , 2500 USD , 5000 USD is much more needed.
And hits the target better.

example A family father who buys a car so he can be taxidriver or private chauffeur , transport business .

A rural family in Gabiley can import some 100 chickens to their farm for 500 USD loan.
sell the eggs & chickens etc

Anybody agree?

We who are students could for example put together a fund and raise 20 000 USD

How can people start saying: "Why should that women rely on her man" if the only thing he did was refuse to send money to her side of the relatives.
Don't get me wrong, in his shoes I would have probably done it but this man's responsibility is to his kids AND his wife.

When he married her, did he promise to carry her whole family on his back? That's not right to call him stingy b/c we don't know the whole story.

1. Does he have the money to send her brother?
2. Is there legitimate need or does he want to buy qaat and a mobile?
3. Does he do this all the time? It's more embarrassing for a man inuu talo gashto walaashiis ninkeeda wuxuu u soo diro.

^Gedo boy I've heard circulated similar rumours .... many men get burned on this issue lol.
imported wifey expects him to support her large family back home...


Dont marry a girl back home from miyiiga or poor family Unless you take into account
that you may have to support her family as well later.
And yes in Hargeisa this could mean = qaat and mobile for brothers and uncles....