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Beans wrote:

Alphanumeric wrote:

Beans wrote:Every case should be assessed indivdually.

But yes Beans, there is a trend. Sisters who just started practicing the deen because of a few SalafiPublications lectures they've come across online run off and marry the most "Salafi" guy they can find, who isn't Somali. And yes, these guys boast about it.

People will always make bad choices.It is up to her,the family to provide the necessary advice and hope the naive chick makes the right choice.

Somalida can be very very involved in ur personal for all the wrong reason.If there was such a good community involvement and people worked together to better their ties,we would have young naive girls running off to the first dude that shows them some attention.

I view the problem stemming from lenient family values. Rules and obligations are screamed at the children, but rarely is their any actual communication, emotional support, and cultural or religious development at home. If these people running off for marriage actually had a sense of what "family" means and could picture themselves in such a position realizing the responsibilities and dedication required for it work, they wouldn't make such foolish decisions.

I believe, regardless of the situation of the diaspora, Somalis inherently place for more importance and value on "community" than "family". Being a nomadic people, this makes sense. This results in family ties becoming a responsibility rather than a desire. There is no connection between family members that goes beyond the needs. In the diaspora, the family unit is in tatters. This only compounds the problem.

The only reason Somalis get involved with situations in other families is to criticize. The community should uphold a particular standard, and anyone who strays must be chastised. "Community" in the diaspora doesn't exist. We are still fighting off qabiilism, even here. Even our masajid are divided along these lines. There is no "community". And when a Muslim comes to ask for you daughter's hand, you only have two options: either chase him away or let him in. If you allow your daughter to marry a newly reformed ex-con, you'll be insulted. If you chase away a new Muslim, you'll be insulted.

No one wins in this mess.

Beans, if she's getting married without the consent of her father/wali, it is zina.

Murax wrote:Beans,


No offense, but I think its because Somali girls come off as desperate when it comes to marriage. Take Your time, be patient, make dua, and marry a good dude Ajanabi or not.

all those bad boys / saaqaajaans / gangisteer .. needs a wife too

teeda kaale .. shibirbaa shibiirkiisaa buu la duulaa ... U know all women/girls are not angels

there is a wife / husband for everyone out there

There's an insanely rapidly growing female Muslim population in South America. Spread the word.

Beans wrote:Murax Is that such a bad thing? If a girl has reached adulthood and knows she wants to get married,for whatever reason be it to avoid zina,where is the harm in that?

If its a guy who all his life, had issues with drugs, drinking, didn't have a stable job, education, life and isn't at all established then yea, I do view it as a bad thing. 99/100 the guy simply spends 2 weeks with the girl and divorces her. Is it not better NOT to get married then to marry someone like that?

qoraxeey wrote:

Murax wrote:Beans,


No offense, but I think its because Somali girls come off as desperate when it comes to marriage. Take Your time, be patient, make dua, and marry a good dude Ajanabi or not.

all those bad boys / saaqaajaans / gangisteer .. needs a wife too

teeda kaale .. shibirbaa shibiirkiisaa buu la duulaa ... U know all women/girls are not angels

there is a wife / husband for everyone out there

You're right a lot of times those girls have their own history. Some times though the girl doesn't have a history, is clean but just very naive and dumb.

Dont waste your time in lamenting you can do nothing about it and by the way dont take the somali thing too personal.

So I tell you respect who ever respects themselves.

Alpha I believe we are on the same page markaas. U have summed it up nicely.

If girls/boys were very much connected and had a great relationship with their parents a) They wouldnt hesitate to let their parents know when/who they wish to marry. b) They would know the expectations of their parents and wouldnt bring someone that would displease them. etc

I dont think anyone Muslim person can call it a marriage if the Wali`s consent is missing? Who does the nikaax for that?


Murax I think u have misunderstood my post. I am not in any way advocating for those temporary good Muslim who could easily be hooked on drugs with a rap sheet to support it.All i am saying is,there is nothing wrong for a young Somali girl to desire marriage.

When said girls are naive and dumb,it falls on the family of hers to bring back some sense into her.

Murax wrote: Some times though the girl doesn't have a history, is clean but just very naive and dumb.

laakiin those so called naive and dumb girls .. now that they cant really change a man


but they need sex walaal

they dont care if he does drugs . khat . khaamrii ,,, been with 1ooo women .....

as longs as he can perform at habeenkii they stay married to that loser

qoraxeey wrote:

Murax wrote: Some times though the girl doesn't have a history, is clean but just very naive and dumb.

laakiin those so called naive and dumb girls .. now that they cant really change a man


but they need sex walaal

they dont care if he does drugs . khat . khaamrii ,,, been with 1ooo women .....

as longs as he can perform at habeenkii they stay married to that loser

this is part of a larger problem which is Somali girls have become cheap flower these days, from the age of 17 these girls lose their virginity and from that point on they get handed around from one guy to the next, part of the blame is us Somali guys because we are their default partner but we have failed to keep them inline walahi. i have witnessed a Somali girl cursing the shit out of a Jareer guy and as he was about to knock her out i stopped him, literately days after i see them snogging in the middle of the street, i can't say shit because her brother is a hardcore gangster i don't even want to get involved.

girls who date or marry outside of their race need to be exposed, humiliated and shunned. this has to be done until we get this epidemic under control.

Beans wrote:

qoraxeey wrote:

Murax wrote: Some times though the girl doesn't have a history, is clean but just very naive and dumb.

laakiin those so called naive and dumb girls .. now that they cant really change a man


but they need sex walaal

they dont care if he does drugs . khat . khaamrii ,,, been with 1ooo women .....

as longs as he can perform at habeenkii they stay married to that loser

waan ruun hee

qoraxeey in that case, iney iska sooman ba looqatey sideydo kale. lol

Adali wrote:girls who date or marry outside of their race need to be exposed, humiliated and shunned. this has to be done until we get this epidemic under control.

I commend your act in defending the girl, but this is an idiotic comment.

Beans,

Oh, I def didn't mean it like that. Sure, a girl should def desire marriage and hopefully it should be to a guy who's reasonable. As far as hte family goes, one case I know in particular the Dad of the girl, mom, etc. all said absolutely no, the dude pulled out some fake fatawas, got a shady imam and she ran away and married the dude. He divorced her in about a year after she got a daughter.



Qoraxeey,


Dee after he divorces her in a couple of months there will be no more sex even markas maxay falayaan

hyperactive wrote:qoraxeey in that case, iney iska sooman ba looqatey sideydo kale. lol

hyper babe ... imaan daaroo .. so mahaan

Murax wrote: Qoraxeey,

Dee after he divorces her in a couple of months there will be no more sex even markas maxay falayaan

then at least they got to enjoy him for a couple of months

they can marry miid kaale markaas ..LOOL