want to divorce my pregnant wife

[DonCorleone]

waan ka xumahey sxb wixii kugu dhacey......my advise is saxiib give her a taste of her own medicine...

BIG BIG BIG mistake never and ever apologise thinking you will get sex and food in return, secondly you need to change your whole attitude........ waa inaad u naqantid sidii odaay yaashi hore nolaa 1800 1900 up to 1960. be cold cold hearted...thirdly you don't need to ask her for your right ....the rights of the husband upon his wife for instance sex and food in the table when you get home.....if she doesn't do it......smack her hard sxb ......

....

I don't think that's a good idea beating a pregnant lady


they should talk to eachother and sort it out



or else the husband should go to the girls mom and plead his case nicely because that is the last straw.[/quote



Don, pregnant or not, no man should put his on a woman, period.

You right, only a fool would beat his wife, like if he hated her why marry and beat her up

those kinda guys are f-king psychos for real

[zulaika]

There is 3 sides to every marital problem..his/hers/the truth..no one knows your situation better than u and her..you have asked not to judge so in all fairness i will extend it to your wife not pass any judgements..Allah knows best. Divorce should not be considered before exhausting all possible avenues to resolve your issues.. Please consult those that know u both and your situation best. I don't think advice from strangers will help make this any easier.

Good luck and may Allah grant His mercy to both of u and your children!

[Alphanumeric]

Those sort of people exist. You have nothing to ask forgiveness for, given what you said is true. I got no advice, but hope it works out.


I needed to read this.

[ElfRuler]

You're an amazing man. Her behavior or lack of is not good for the marriage or your kids. If you know for certain that you want to divorce her, then at least wait till she gives birth. And not because of what "people would say", but due to her overall health that has a direct effect on her unborn child. Till then try having a close relative to drop in and help her out or keep her busy.


If your wife's behavior is much different from when you got married or after the first 2 yrs of marriage, then she might be going through something else. Double check just to see that isn't that case. Communication will save both you two the headache.

[SimplySerene]

If discussing these issues with your wife is difficult then Perhaps consider taking your wife, sitting down and discussing it with a people you trust. Such as local imam, family counselor, close friends, family members etc Maybe they can help advise.

[Leftist]

OP,

Ilaahay haa kuu sahlo, you're in a tough spot. The ideal situation would be no kids, then divorce would be a easy and positive fix for both of you.

But with 2 kids....the mom will most likely get custody..and if she is who you say she is, she'll subject the kids to (made-up, exaggerated) stories of what a shitty person you are.

Start documenting the abuse, the qaylo, the madax-wareer so that you can at least stand a chance when it comes to custody, something to convince the judge that you're the more suitable care-taker of the children.

Don't even think about divorce now. Think about how you can build a strong case to win custody when divorce happens.

Forgot about "what ppl would say". Focus on you & yours: caroortaada. In other words, don't think like a Somali(dadka maxay iga sheegaayaan), think like a cold-blooded capitalist(what do I need to do to ensure the most profitable outcome for me)

[Cunaaye25]

Maxaan ra'yigayga dhibtaa "I want to divorce my pregnant wife" ma wax lagu hadlaa?

Waa qof uur leh oo inuu u dhulqaatuu ku khasbanyahay. Naagtii wanaag loo muujiyo si kasta ey u qalafsantahay wey dabcaysaa, mindhaa uma afmacaaneeyo oo intaa wuu la tirsadaa. Yaa inaga og.

walaaley dhulqaatuu? maxaad ka wadaa ma waxaad ka wadaa inuu dhulka qaato? Bal ii fasir ama Dhulqaatuu= ma waxaad ka wadaa dulqaato

Ra'yigaa mid xun mahan. lakiin runtii gabdhaha somaaliyeed oo dhaqanka reer galbeedka qaatey khayr maleh runtii. Taasna waa igula raacsantahey simahan.

Rag aan la tirin karin aan aqaano, qoomiyad aan la aqoonin ayey guursadeen, sida Indians, Chineese,Japanase, Cadaans, waxaa ku kaliftey dumarkii oo dhaqankoodi ka tagey.......abkey iyo awoowgey dhaqan ma'aanan u laheen inaanu dadkaas guursano mafahantey!!!

[FarhanYare]

op,
you do realise majority of snetters still live in their mother's basement room? sii fiicaan baad usuuge getting a rational solutions from these folks but to get back to the topic. i would say the fault lies in you even though you didn't do any wrong based on what you said, you see women respect niin aan asxaan ufaliin so i suggest you stop helping her around the housework , since she is pregnant ask if any of your female relatives can step in and help her around till she delivers the baby.. i think the fault arisen as soon as you took the mommy role sxb am not saying abandon the kids on her but keep the house work you are doing at most minimum for her own sake!

[FarhanYare]

teeda kaale qofta quraan saar waa maxay this yelling and abusing that got to stop!

[DonCorleone]

op,
you do realise majority of snetters still live in their mother's basement room? sii fiicaan baad usuuge getting a rational solutions from these folks but to get back to the topic. i would say the fault lies in you even though you didn't do any wrong based on what you said, you see women respect niin aan asxaan ufaliin so i suggest you stop helping her around the housework , since she is pregnant ask if any of your female relatives can step in and help her around till she delivers the baby.. i think the fault arisen as soon as you took the mommy role sxb am not saying abandon the kids on her but keep the house work you are doing at most minimum for her own sake!

Dafuq?

[salool]

Salool: judging from what the brother posted though it is one sided story the wife was supposed to be divorced before she even give birth the 1st child forget second pregnancy that is why i always says couples should take one or two yrs to get to know each other before trying to have babies.

Horta anigu i dont believe a word of what this guy posted, i've hard time to believe a couple in their 30s can act like children.At that age pple should be mature enough to handel their problems without resorting to insults and disrespect eachother, esp when kids are involved in the pic.Hadi wuxu ino sheegay run tahay waaba arin culus.Waqtigan la joogo cidna qaylo uma adkaysan karto walle.

[Colonel]

BIG BIG BIG mistake never and ever apologise thinking you will get sex and food in return

[despairedmaskiin]

dear fellow Somalis

thank you all for your messages the good and the bad

im not joking and this is real. i just to make sense of what im going through and why i deserve this. you dont understand how much i want to have a happy family. even though i dont love my wife anymore i still remember the first 3 months when she was good to me. i thought i could change her but i cant. i think she took my softness and compasion for family as weakness and she exploited it. and this really hurts me. i sometimes think if i was strict and harsh in beginning she wouldn't pull this. it hurts to know my children will grow up in a divorced home.

now im confident about my decision. i cant live a life like this even though it hurts too much to break my family but i deserve someone who appreciates me. i dont beat her, never touched her, will drop everything for her, spend all my time with her and in return i get disrespect and violence.

for the person who said, it's cause she's pregnant.pregancy has 20% to do with it. she was like this before her pregnancy.

[SelfD]

op,
you do realise majority of snetters still live in their mother's basement room? sii fiicaan baad usuuge getting a rational solutions from these folks but to get back to the topic. i would say the fault lies in you even though you didn't do any wrong based on what you said, you see women respect niin aan asxaan ufaliin so i suggest you stop helping her around the housework , since she is pregnant ask if any of your female relatives can step in and help her around till she delivers the baby.. i think the fault arisen as soon as you took the mommy role sxb am not saying abandon the kids on her but keep the house work you are doing at most minimum for her own sake!

Dafuq?

I agree, dafuq?
Dont give this stupid advise...you should treat your wife well and help her around the house, as did our Nabi.

why is it when wives are bad, they're told to divorce her lakin when a husband is bad, they're told to be patient and endure?
Stupid dbl standards!

[FAH1223]

dear fellow Somalis

thank you all for your messages the good and the bad

im not joking and this is real. i just to make sense of what im going through and why i deserve this. you dont understand how much i want to have a happy family. even though i dont love my wife anymore i still remember the first 3 months when she was good to me. i thought i could change her but i cant. i think she took my softness and compasion for family as weakness and she exploited it. and this really hurts me. i sometimes think if i was strict and harsh in beginning she wouldn't pull this. it hurts to know my children will grow up in a divorced home.

now im confident about my decision. i cant live a life like this even though it hurts too much to break my family but i deserve someone who appreciates me. i dont beat her, never touched her, will drop everything for her, spend all my time with her and in return i get disrespect and violence.

for the person who said, it's cause she's pregnant.pregancy has 20% to do with it. she was like this before her pregnancy.

you should wait till the kid is born and in the meantime document all her abuses (voice record, video record, etc) against you so you can get custody of the children