Rehabilation centre for girls from the west (dhaqan celis)

[MissFiora]

Seriously? What happened to the days, u sat under your ayeeyo and she related tales of Dhegdheer and Diin iyo dawaco. Or listening to your mother paint a picture of what life was like back home in the old country as she braided your hair on a Sunday afternoon to prep you for school? Or having abti introduce you to Ahmed Gacayte with a wad of khat in his cheek chillin in his macawiis with his shah bigeys on the side? What happened to the good ol' days where abo use to do subciis with you to get you ready for dugsi on Saturday morning? What happened to getting sent to your relative who just had a baby..so you could help out with umul bixinta ...and the afartan bax? What happened to hooyo throwing mahmah Somaliyeed when you do something to upset her? And having her tell you the meaning of the proverb after she calmed down? Bro that's how culture was transmitted to me.

[gedo_gurl]

Fiora, what is afartan bax? I've heard of todobobax (after nikaax) but never afartanbax (after a baby).

[LiquidHYDROGEN]

Fiora, what is afartan bax? I've heard of todobobax (after nikaax) but never afartanbax (after a baby).

I thought everyone had afartanbax after they're born? What the hell is Todobabax?

[gedo_gurl]

No...we just give sadaqa on the day they're born, ari baa loo qalaa, quraan ayaa la aqristaa...I never heard of 40 days celebration.

Todobobax (seven days of being indoors with the husband) ends on the day of shaashsaar...a week after the bride's wedding day/nikaax, you have a big girls party for her, almost like a second wedding day but only close relatives led by her mum come prepare it for her and give her a shaash each to cover her head, symbolic that her days as 'foodley' (food is a fringe) are over. She also gets more wedding presents that day and some people give money too. I know they don't do this in the North because I have a friend from there and she'd never heard of it. Basically, no-one interrupts you for seven days after your wedding night, and then they throw a party for you when its over.

[MissFiora]

"Actually, the real reason for afartan bax is the convalescence of the mother after nine months of pregnancy – often complicated and labour (often painful). In the good old baadiyo days, the mom would become a queen during the afartan bax; she will be nourished ( a lot of stew, ghee, meat and much more). She will be attended to by many women. It was not unusual that female relatives arrived from afar just to make sure that the umul is fed and cherished. During these 40 days, she will not venture outside her house and there is a sense of raising her to the skies. If nature calls, she will have a walking stick. Since most somalis are muslims, the mother is not obliged to fast and thus sexual intercourse is avoided. After 40 days, the baby is taken out and introduced to the world; this is a ceremony (sometimes combined with waqlal (baptised) and the mom goes back to performing her duties. The dhaahir part comes with the package."

Source: Abti Lamagoodle

[gedo_gurl]

This is all very familiar/normal to me....but I had no idea it had a name...and forty day limit.

Horta do you guys have this bun ceremony? When I was back home, bun and daango were friend for me and warm saliid from bunka ayaa raaska/madaxa dhexdiisa la iigu shubey...do you guys have that too? What is it called?

Ms Fiora...do you know about shaashsaar/todobobax?

[MujahidAishah]

Yes in waqooyi we do todobobax its an outing to near by toolos where you have a party unfortunately its a thing of the past now

We dont do the masaar saar like reer xamar

[gedo_gurl]

When/why did it end?

Not everyone from the South is from Xamar. We call it a shaash and its different to a masar, which can be anything, shaashka has different patterns and a different material.

[Somaliman%]

Chains

Dhaqan celis used to be about learning your abtiris from your eedo, or learning about diinta by listening to advice (all damn day) and being a total burden on your family who have to teach you vocab and edeb just for you to get by without embarrassing them....what was wrong with that? I know one kids who went back to Somalia because he was obese. He came back 5 stones lighter after less than a year just by walking around with his cousins and eating at appropriate times....if he was chained until meal times he would develop an eating disorder.

I'm guessing the people who are tied up are not even mentally ill....this reminds me of that film 'The Magdalene Sisters' , its about an institution run by nuns in Ireland which was only shut down in the 90's. They took everyone in from girls who winked at boys through the school gates to girls who were raped and got pregnant. They were forced to wash the whole town's clothes and were imprisoned for life, all thanks to their families. In one scene, a priest was exually abusing one of the girls...I can't see the difference here...I thought it was a day centre...when I heard chains and a fence...I knew it would be something not xalaal.

I dont think its as bad as we'r making out, although i heard of stories were parents bring back kids that were really wild, ciyaalsuuq, these kids are rebels, and its hard to teach them anything, so the parents lock them up, otherwise they would run away. Not everyone accepts dhaqan celis willingly.

[MujahidAishah]

When/why did it end?

Not everyone from the South is from Xamar. We call it a shaash and its different to a masar, which can be anything, shaashka has different patterns and a different material.

Around 2009 i think they stop wadads had a lecture to stop the extragravent wedding as the mens could not afford it there is no more todobobax xedho party nothing just meher and wedding.

The shaash is the silk masar tradition worn by reer KONFUUR