Fear of Commitment

[kambuli]

Fah,

I said "Most of the other guys" I didn't say "All the other guys"...So you can be one of the small group that didn't see it

[Basra-]

gurey25 is your real name 'Ahmed'? Do u know Feisal from the uk? Just curious.

[ShArEeFa*x*]

Cawar you really do seem to have a Problem on your hands, that i can relate to.........

I was in a relationship not so long ago with a wonderful guy who was everything i ever wished for in a man........... when i come to think of it now i want to kick myself in the teeth........ he was dating me hoping it would lead onto marriage but as soon he discussed this issue with me i took the first exit out of the relationship i didnt have no valid reason to leave him and the worst feeling i had was that.......... when he asked me WHY i was breaking up with him i couldnt giv him an answer and i didnt want to say 'it's not you it's me' you know i didnt want to sound so cliche so i left him racking his brain wondering what he did wrong.............5 months later i bumped into him at a new years party with his new patner the feeling i felt when i saw them together ..........
But all am saying to you Babii Boi is losing out on someone who could've have been you ideal partner but you gave up on that and later realise your insercurities and fears stopped something so beautifull happening between you is the most DEPRESSING feeling ever you know........... so take a gamble if you feel strongly for her and she feels strongly for you then thats all that matters.........as long as theres love there you can work everything else out.............Gd Luck

[SahanGalbeed]

I have got a clear objective, with the hepl of God I intend to "overrun" that objective as soon as logistics catch up with me !
Cawar=Coward

[HELWAA]

Fear of commitment at age 33.....subxanallah

[Firefly]

Cawar=Coward

I have to disagree with that. I think we're all scared of letting ourselves down or others down. It's part of human nature. However, I think Cawar is being a bit too hard on himself.

Cawar,

It's all about your frame of mind. Don't go looking for problems when there are none. There's no such thing as perfection - you've got to take the good with the bad - and that's wholesomeness. Trust in Allah (swt) and trust in yourself - and make sure your intentions are good (I'm sure they are). If your intention is to marry this potential partner - then Allah (swt) will make it easy for you. So put your trust in Allah (swt) and trust in yourself too. Always hope for the best, but also prepare for the worst - this way you're on equal footing & won't be caught of guard if it the relationship doesn't work out.

I'm not an expert but that's just my two cents worth.

I wish you all the best, Insha-Allah.

Ps: Making Salaatul Istakhiraah also helps.

[sadeboi]

Cawar, we're pretty much the same, I have the same problem...don't think too much about it...actually wait how old are you? If you are over 24, and your still running away from relationships then you got grow up a little bit man. But I understand you can date 100 girls and none will be your match, just keep dating more and be more open no one is perfect, thats what relationships are about to help each other grow.

See I can say all this but will never do it myself. Don't know why

[Basra-]

Firefly

Applause. Applause. I am curious to read, WHAT do u think of me. 8)





PS: guys, guys, guys--Allow me to demystify this entire blown out Cawarism! Cawar made this thread in an sporadic impulse to get my attention, y'all have run with it wild. Well, it really does not speak of Cawar but all of you here.Each one of u above sadly displayed and outlined your internal fears and reservations.That does not mean i didn't enjoy reading them.

[gurey25]

gurey25 is your real name 'Ahmed'? Do u know Feisal from the uk? Just curious.

close but no,
and i know several faisals none of them live in the UK?


stop trying to qarxis me,
i am very a few SNET'ers have even met me.

[yawle]

'when i am most needed'????? This quote is condescending. Cawar-- maybe u haven't found the right guy.

LOL

[Cawar]

Woow. This has gone way out of proportion..


Basra...wishfull thinking..


Fire, Thanks dear.


Foxxy, you maybe right in some..but wrong in other issues abt me..and yes I have been heard the word "NO" few times ..
Actually waxa saan ii foolxumeyay waa sidii layku daadinaaya.


The rest of the contributers..I will either reply to you or I wont..the fact is that I am one lucky guy Alhamdulilah.

[SummerRain]

I dont see it as fear of commitment. I see it as though you simply have not met the right person yet. Take your time and dont rush into anything.

[MJ-Pride]

Cawar,
Keep in mind that you can always get another one if the first one doesn't work, and perhaps a third or forth if you want to. The first marriage is failure most of the time anyway. Almost half the people that I know who got married, get divorced within three years, unless of course you get the perfect match and in that case you hit the jackpot. Just pick up the closest chick and just plan with your marriage and don't have kids for the first year, because in that year, you will learn if the girl is one for the future

[studente]

umm...let me summarize: in relationships that are going really really well, you suddenly end up running away; you experience extreme curiosity and worry; you don't feel at ease with most women; you cannot sustain a relationship for any sort of period of time.... Cawar, given that none of the above behaviors result from any sort of suppressed homosexualality, which I'm totally sure they don't because you're not gay , your problem is quite clear: you have a borderline personality disorder.

people w/ a borderline personality disorders can't sustain emotional commitment, they completely and totally change emotions in midstream and have difficulty holding on to feelings of lovy doviness. If your mother was cruel, abusive, indifferent, narcissistic, and beat you regularly than that also weighs in favour of this conclusion.


hope that helps !! byeee

p.s. loool. I totally forgot, you asked for advice.. I don't believe in self medication, so I suggest you pray, 5 times a day, everyday.

[Cawar]

"your problem is quite clear: you have a borderline personality disorder:


Sure B, ops I meant studente,,

Isnt that what I called Basra just few days ago?? talk about being obsessed with some nutty professor..

PS. Your attempt to be someone we already know...but different only in your mind is just pathetic..

but I give a C for the effort..