Sex in the Somali community!

[DR-YALAXOOW]

water melon. is for singel men.. waryaa i have wife alxamdulilaah... laakiiin water melon sex is xalaal tooo.. maasha allah.. enjoy it..

[CaliQase]

Subxaanallah

[barbarossa]

ku dhufoo ka dhaqaaq

is the best sex ever ,,, i do it 2 times a day somethimes whit my xalaal xajiyo

Marmarka kalena with water melons somaha

[QaxootiWaaxid]

Who asks their parents if they are doing it.

walking in on your parents

worst thing ever

[AbdiWahab252]

Sex is like air. Doesn't matter much unless you ain't getting any.

[Kaafiye]

water melon. is for singel men.. waryaa i have wife alxamdulilaah... laakiiin water melon sex is xalaal tooo.. maasha allah.. enjoy it..

Having sex with a watermelon is halal? STFU you troll. And then you have the nerve to insist that you're Muslim.

[Rambie]

Somalis love to ignore this topic while they breed like rats. It's more sad than funny lol. Growing up, the only education we got about sex was "if you sit next to a girl, you'll get her pregnant".

Me: What's pregnant?
Parents:
me:

Somali couples have sex?


Since when ku dhufo ka dhaqaaq sex noqotay.

There's nothing to tell.

[DR-YALAXOOW]

Having sex with a watermelon is halal? STFU you troll. And then you have the nerve to insist that you're Muslim.

water melon story is from one of greatest salafi sheikhs IBN AL QAYIM ibn al jawshi. the student of ibn thaymiyah. sheikh ib Qayim said its halaal whit water melon..

Sunni ‘Ulama have ruled on the Permissibility of Having Sex with Watermelons
That was not a typographical error. Ibn Qayyim continues this discussion, which exemplifies the morals espoused by Sunni Islam:

“If a man makes a hole in a watermelon, or a piece of dough, or a leather skin, or a statue, and has sex with it, then this is the same as what we have said about other types of masturbation [i.e., that it is halaal in the same circumstances given before, such as being on a journey]. In fact, it is easier than masturbating with one’s hand”.

Comment
All the Muslims should certainly be grateful that Ibn Qayyim has offered this advice on the easiest way to masturbate, and clearly Ibn Qayyim has done a lot of personal research on this issue. This is the ruling of the “saved sect”: Contracting temporary marriage with a woman is haram, but contracting temporary marriage with a watermelon is halaal. In his defence, perhaps Ibn Qayyim only meant that it is allowed to marry a watermelon with the intent of divorcing it, for doing Mut’ah with a watermelon would clearly be an act of fornication.

Let us remember the words of Dr. Salamah quoted at the beginning of this book:

Mut’ah, on the other hand, is an open license for sexual pleasure with as many women as one can financially afford. The women who engage in Mut’ah are hired women; thus, it can be performed with all women irrespective of their age, character, conduct or religion. It requires no witnesses, nor is there any obligation on the man’s part to provide food and shelter to the woman.

Well, it seems that in the Nasibi logic having sex with as many women as one can afford is utterly immoral, but having sex with as many watermelons as one can afford is not. Based on this, let us ask him some questions about the Ahkam related to having sex with watermelons:Are there any conditions as to the age of the watermelon? For example, is it allowed to perform a marriage with the intent to divorce with a newly grown watermelon, or must one wait until the watermelon is nine years old?
Must it be a pious watermelon, or is it permissible to contract a marriage with the intent to divorce with a watermelon that is known to “get around”?
May a pious brother share his watermelon with another pious brother, or would the second man’s marriage with the intent to divorce constitute an act of fornication unless the watermelon observes proper ‘iddah?
Are witnesses required in the marriage with the intent to divorce of a watermelon? May other watermelons serve as witnesses in that marriage, since according to Sunni fiqh all marriages require witnesses? Applying the Sunni principle of Qiyas (analogy), we can strongly argue that if it is allowed to marry (with intention of divorce) a watermelon, than certainly it is allowed for a watermelon to bear witness to another watermelon’s blessed and chaste marriage.
What about oranges?
Really, we have to ask all reasonable Muslims: would you rather follow ‘ulama that rule on the permissibility of having sex with fruits and vegetables, or follow the pious path of the Holy Imams (as), of whom Allah (swt) has said:

[Rambie]

I kid you not wallahi I knew this Somali kid that didn't find out how kids were made until he was 17 or 18. He honestly believed when a couple got married that a kid was delivered like in cartoons the stork carrying the baby in their beaks.

When I was growing up, I was always around older kids so I knew about sex pretty early, but I was adamant my parents never had sex. So, when I was about 9, I told my friends that my parents never had sex with a straight face. They didn't roast me or anything but they just kept repeating that that was impossible.

So, guess what I did? I went home and asked Hooyo if she and Aabbo had sex to have me. You would've thought I cursed her dead relatives or something the reaction I got. That's probably the scariest I've ever seen my mother.

Nigga, I don't watch tv with my folks in fear
from a kissing/sex scene coming out of the blue.


You sure where a naive and innocent kid.



@ Qaxooti Waaxid

[HayWire]

Having sex with a watermelon is halal? STFU you troll. And then you have the nerve to insist that you're Muslim.

water melon story is from one of greatest salafi sheikhs IBN AL QAYIM ibn al jawshi. the student of ibn thaymiyah. sheikh ib Qayim said its halaal whit water melon..

Sunni ‘Ulama have ruled on the Permissibility of Having Sex with Watermelons
That was not a typographical error. Ibn Qayyim continues this discussion, which exemplifies the morals espoused by Sunni Islam:

“If a man makes a hole in a watermelon, or a piece of dough, or a leather skin, or a statue, and has sex with it, then this is the same as what we have said about other types of masturbation [i.e., that it is halaal in the same circumstances given before, such as being on a journey]. In fact, it is easier than masturbating with one’s hand”.

Comment
All the Muslims should certainly be grateful that Ibn Qayyim has offered this advice on the easiest way to masturbate, and clearly Ibn Qayyim has done a lot of personal research on this issue. This is the ruling of the “saved sect”: Contracting temporary marriage with a woman is haram, but contracting temporary marriage with a watermelon is halaal. In his defence, perhaps Ibn Qayyim only meant that it is allowed to marry a watermelon with the intent of divorcing it, for doing Mut’ah with a watermelon would clearly be an act of fornication.

Let us remember the words of Dr. Salamah quoted at the beginning of this book:

Mut’ah, on the other hand, is an open license for sexual pleasure with as many women as one can financially afford. The women who engage in Mut’ah are hired women; thus, it can be performed with all women irrespective of their age, character, conduct or religion. It requires no witnesses, nor is there any obligation on the man’s part to provide food and shelter to the woman.

Well, it seems that in the Nasibi logic having sex with as many women as one can afford is utterly immoral, but having sex with as many watermelons as one can afford is not. Based on this, let us ask him some questions about the Ahkam related to having sex with watermelons:Are there any conditions as to the age of the watermelon? For example, is it allowed to perform a marriage with the intent to divorce with a newly grown watermelon, or must one wait until the watermelon is nine years old?
Must it be a pious watermelon, or is it permissible to contract a marriage with the intent to divorce with a watermelon that is known to “get around”?
May a pious brother share his watermelon with another pious brother, or would the second man’s marriage with the intent to divorce constitute an act of fornication unless the watermelon observes proper ‘iddah?
Are witnesses required in the marriage with the intent to divorce of a watermelon? May other watermelons serve as witnesses in that marriage, since according to Sunni fiqh all marriages require witnesses? Applying the Sunni principle of Qiyas (analogy), we can strongly argue that if it is allowed to marry (with intention of divorce) a watermelon, than certainly it is allowed for a watermelon to bear witness to another watermelon’s blessed and chaste marriage.
What about oranges?
Really, we have to ask all reasonable Muslims: would you rather follow ‘ulama that rule on the permissibility of having sex with fruits and vegetables, or follow the pious path of the Holy Imams (as), of whom Allah (swt) has said:

dryalaxoow WAS THIS FROM A SHIA WEBSITE BY ANY CHANCE?

[EvolSyawla]

Applying the Sunni principle of Qiyas (analogy), we can strongly argue that if it is allowed to marry (with intention of divorce) a watermelon, than certainly it is allowed for a watermelon to bear witness to another watermelon’s blessed and chaste marriage.
What about oranges?

[CigaalSHiiDaaDCFC]

Who asks their parents if they are doing it.

walking in on your parents

worst thing ever

And why would you share this with us??
Have some respect for your parents nadal yahow

[CaliQase]

Dr. Yalaxow Dr. Xabeeb aas u baahan yahay!

[Rambie]

What is other words in Somali for sex?

I only know about the word in the popular Somali insult "Abaha/Hoyaada wxxxx"
and the rape word in Somali "Kxxxx"

What's the other 2 ?

[grandpakhalif]

Dr yalaxoow is promoting shia twelver idealogy and is spreading doubt, Do not be fooled, Sheikh Ibn Jawzee never wrote this