Yemeni-Somali marriages

[TheMightyNomad]

Besides, marrying a Somali man doesn't guarantee that you won't have a controlling, abusive husband. I know Somali men who beat their wives and oppress them, one of them ended up divorcing the guy. But the bigger problem among our people is neglect. Men who up and leave their family and live elsewhere. Cajeeb wallaahi.

Better the devil you know. Than the devil you dont know. If you have to choose between a familiar but unpleasant situation and an unfamiliar situation, choose the familiar one because the unfamiliar situation may turn out to be worse.

At least you know where you stand when it comes to Somali men. Its not a Somali costum or culture to be abusive or possessive, nor is it a culture to abondone kids, you could categorize that as a fringe anomaly something outside the norm, Infact the stereotype in the Muslim and African world is quite the opposite some reports say we are the most responsible husbands.

Tribes whose men make good husbands in Kenya
http://venasnews.co.ke/2015/10/07/tribe ... -in-kenya/

The Somali men have been described as the most responsible men in the entire country. Though Islam allows them to marry more than one wife, these men know how to treat their women regardless of the number.

It’s hard to find a Somali man leaving his kid suffering without taking responsibility.

Why do they rank so high? Because men of other ethnic groups are no better. They just seem that way to you and other Xalimo's because of this romantic notion of '''Grass is greener on the other side'', it is ignorance you see all the vices of your own but not with others. Most other Muslim and African men are crappy family men compared to us in a generality. (had to be frank with this one.). Because within our culture family and community values are heavily enforced. If marriage fails or something bad happens, the whole community takes responsibility especially the family of the spouse in question. Remarriages are easily arranged.

We all have issues, but at the end of the day we pray to Allah (Swt) to protect us and bless us with a good spouse. You may be running from one thing and you end up running into it or maybe even something worse.

Allah gave you a brain you need to use it. Marriage isn't a ladi dii daa kind of thing. It is a serious life long spiritual and social contract. You certaintly don't leave it up to chance and then pray to Allah to grant you the winning lottery. As you know gambling is haraam.

I dont wake up in the morning thinking i am going to act on an inclination or fetish of marrying Malay Muslimah without a second of thought.

People marry their own race for a reason such as familiarity and compatability as it creates less conflict and less complexity. People should never marry outside their race solely based on seeking different type of race or ethnicity , but rather to the most fitting in terms character, values commitment, etc. Do you know the person? do you know his culture or family? Does he have a job and a backbone?

If your standard is limited to only the person being Yemeni. Then good luck waking up to the harsh reality.

[Estranged]

Besides, marrying a Somali man doesn't guarantee that you won't have a controlling, abusive husband. I know Somali men who beat their wives and oppress them, one of them ended up divorcing the guy. But the bigger problem among our people is neglect. Men who up and leave their family and live elsewhere. Cajeeb wallaahi.

Better the devil you know. Than the devil you dont know. If you have to choose between a familiar but unpleasant situation and an unfamiliar situation, choose the familiar one because the unfamiliar situation may turn out to be worse.

At least you know where you stand when it comes to Somali men. Its not a Somali costum or culture to be abusive or possessive, nor is it a culture to abondone kids, you could categorize that as a fringe anomaly something outside the norm, Infact the stereotype in the Muslim and African world is quite the opposite some reports say we are the most responsible husbands.

Tribes whose men make good husbands in Kenya
http://venasnews.co.ke/2015/10/07/tribe ... -in-kenya/

The Somali men have been described as the most responsible men in the entire country. Though Islam allows them to marry more than one wife, these men know how to treat their women regardless of the number.

It’s hard to find a Somali man leaving his kid suffering without taking responsibility.

Why do they rank so high? Because men of other ethnic groups are no better. They just seem that way to you and other Xalimo's because of this romantic notion of '''Grass is greener on the other side'', it is ignorance you see all the vices of your own but not with others. Most other Muslim and African men are crappy family men compared to us in a generality. (had to be frank with this one.). Because within our culture family and community values are heavily enforced. If marriage fails or something bad happens, the whole community takes responsibility especially the family of the spouse in question. Remarriages are easily arranged.

We all have issues, but at the end of the day we pray to Allah (Swt) to protect us and bless us with a good spouse. You may be running from one thing and you end up running into it or maybe even something worse.

Allah gave you a brain you need to use it. Marriage isn't a ladi dii daa kind of thing. It is a serious life long spiritual and social contract. You certaintly don't leave it up to chance and then pray to Allah to grant you the winning lottery. As you know gambling is haraam.

I dont wake up in the morning thinking i am going to act on an inclination or fetish of marrying Malay Muslimah without a second of thought.

People marry their own race for a reason such as familiarity and compatability as it creates less conflict and less complexity. People should never marry outside their race solely based on seeking different type of race or ethnicity , but rather to the most fitting in terms character, values commitment, etc. Do you know the person? do you know his culture or family? Does he have a job and a backbone?

If your standard is limited to only the person being Yemeni. Then good luck waking up to the harsh reality.

Good post. Baarak Allah feek. I agree with what you have written, but it is a red herring. You have debated something that wasn't on the table. But I appreciate the rational and measured way in which you responded, as opposed to the emotional and unnecessary comments others have made.

In order to respond to your post, I think it's necessary to admit my gender as it now does seem relevant (although y'all pretty much got it right). Alhamdulillaah I am a sister.

Firstly, the post you quoted wasn't me reasoning why I don't want to marry Somali men. I was responding to a poster who made it sound like Somali men were flawless and other men are the ones with issues and abusive tendencies. So I responded as you quoted, pointing out that our men aren't angels. We have problems too.

With this said, there are many good Somali men who will make great husbands and fathers; the reason why I said I prefer a Yemeni man is not because I have despaired of my own men. Why do I want to marry a Yemeni? All I can say is that it's just a preference I have. And I obviously know they have their bad apples and there are abusive men among them, I am not delusional as to assume otherwise.

People marrying from their own race is very reasonable and has a lot of benefits. Especially for women. You see, I agree with a lot you have said. But does this mean all interracial marriages are doomed to fail? All women who marry out will inevitably end up with an abusive, monster of a man? No, this is just cultural propaganda and fear mongering.

If my only criteria for a husband was that he be a Yemeni, or even a Muslim Sunni Yemeni, then there would be something seriously wrong with me. Likewise if my only criteria was that he a Somali man. I obviously have more on the list, lol, I don't know why you'd assume marrying out means lowering your standards.

Like I said in another post, if a good man who has taqwa, good character and an attractive personality were to propose to me, I would have to be deranged to turn him down just because he wasn't Yemeni. As far as I know, I am a sane and reasonable person alhamdulillaah.

So have I explained myself well? Is what I'm saying reasonable? Or do you feel I'm missing something?

I honestly appreciate good advice. So if anyone were to discuss this with me; advantages/disadvantages, problems that may arise, etc.; I would take it on board.

Jazaak Allah kheyr

[gegiroor]

Qofku haddii ay dhab ka tahay inuu guursado, wuu sameeyaa ee dadka sanka kama marmariyo. Waxaad doonaysid guurso gabadheey laakiin jooji ku xoqxoqidan aad sanka naga marmarinaysid. Waryaa yaa Alle yaqaan, bal anaga maxaa naga galay wixii kugu aasaya?

[Estranged]

Hmm... I think I should've went about this thread a different way. It's too late now.

Mods can delete this thread if they want.

[SahanGalbeed]

[Jugjugwacwac]

You still haven't answered why u prefer Yemeni man over a Somali man. What are your reasons?

[Cherine]

^ This.

I don't understand this Yemeni or bust fetish you have.

[Raganimo]

^ This.

I don't understand this Yemeni or bust fetish you have.

People like this person are extremely immature. Their marriages rarely ever last because they get married for all the wrong reasons.

[BVSNet]

What's wrong with having a fetish? If that's what rocks her boat who are we to judge?

[LiquidHYDROGEN]

What's wrong with having a fetish? If that's what rocks her boat who are we to judge?

Because it's demeaning to the people being fetishised as well as the person with a fetish, as they are openly saying they have lower standards when comes to a particular race/ethnicity.

Also you will never hear the opposite, i.e. Arab women chasing foreign, particularly Somali, men. It seems to be a xaliimo-only phenomenon. Maybe due no self-esteem, bad upbringing or the fact that Somali woman are not seen as highly valuable by their male counterparts - there are no other excuses for the amount of "ajnabii ayaan dooneya" threads started by Somali females on the internet. What is this, like the 1millionth topic regarding the issue started on this forum alone?

Quite frankly, it pathetic and annoying. If you wish to marry a blue Martian it is up to you. Lakiin, why constantly parade it in our faces like you've won the lotto. Like I said before, this forum and other Somali forums must be such a huge ego boost for cadaans and carabs, even Yemeni who are the Midgaan of arabs.

[Raganimo]

What's wrong with having a fetish? If that's what rocks her boat who are we to judge?

Because it's demeaning to the people being fetishised as well as the person with a fetish, as they are openly saying they have lower standards when comes to a particular race/ethnicity.

Also you will never hear the opposite, i.e. Arab women chasing foreign, particularly Somali, men. It seems to be a xaliimo-only phenomenon. Maybe due no self-esteem, bad upbringing or the fact that Somali woman are not seen as highly valuable by their male counterparts - there are no other excuses for the amount of "ajnabii ayaan dooneya" threads started by Somali females on the internet. What is this, like the 1millionth topic regarding the issue started on this forum alone?

Quite frankly, it pathetic and annoying. If you wish to marry a blue Martian it is up to you. Lakiin, why constantly parade it in our faces like you've won the lotto. Like I said before, this forum and other Somali forums must be such a huge ego boost for cadaans and carabs, even Yemeni who are the Midgaan of arabs.

Many of them do it for the attention. But there are those who post this same kind of BS on ajnabi forums. It makes them look desperate and pathetic.

[Kudo]

Lol@ how everyone automatically assumed this desperado is a girl. This is a guy 1000000%.

In order to respond to your post, I think it's necessary to admit my gender as it now does seem relevant (although y'all pretty much got it right). Alhamdulillaah I am a sister.

[TheMightyNomad]

With this said, there are many good Somali men who will make great husbands and fathers; the reason why I said I prefer a Yemeni man is not because I have despaired of my own men. Why do I want to marry a Yemeni? All I can say is that it's just a preference I have. And I obviously know they have their bad apples and there are abusive men among them, I am not delusional as to assume otherwise.

People marrying from their own race is very reasonable and has a lot of benefits. Especially for women. You see, I agree with a lot you have said. But does this mean all interracial marriages are doomed to fail? All women who marry out will inevitably end up with an abusive, monster of a man? No, this is just cultural propaganda and fear mongering.

If my only criteria for a husband was that he be a Yemeni, or even a Muslim Sunni Yemeni, then there would be something seriously wrong with me. Likewise if my only criteria was that he a Somali man. I obviously have more on the list, lol, I don't know why you'd assume marrying out means lowering your standards.

Like I said in another post, if a good man who has taqwa, good character and an attractive personality were to propose to me, I would have to be deranged to turn him down just because he wasn't Yemeni. As far as I know, I am a sane and reasonable person alhamdulillaah.

So have I explained myself well? Is what I'm saying reasonable? Or do you feel I'm missing something?

I honestly appreciate good advice. So if anyone were to discuss this with me; advantages/disadvantages, problems that may arise, etc.; I would take it on board.

Jazaak Allah kheyr

If this is all true sister, then why do you prefer Yemeni men in specific? I'm kind of missing the point of this.

[Cherine]

What's wrong with having a fetish? If that's what rocks her boat who are we to judge?

So if your husband said he had a fetish for golden showers, that'd be alright with you?

[Sauron]

you guys haven't seen what some Somali women write in ajanabi forums...I just wana