SNet daters and married lot, question

[BlackVelvet]

Meh, what is holding doors? I would expect a red carpet to be rolled under my feet so I would not have to touch the dirty ground with my shoes.

But all seriousness...

BlackVelvet you can't expect someone to do what they don't want. Somali men are missing the sensitive/emotional/caring chip. If a guy did this to you while you went out, I say call up a male relative and let them break his fingers (after Ramadan, of course). And why are you with a loser like that anyway? If a man doesn't pay you no mind and doesn't open the door, or treat you the way you should be treated, tell him all that talk is for the birds!

True that Somalis are generally not all that sensitive and no one can hold up an act forever so my point is that it shouldn't be an act. You learn to speak French and when you can speak it fluently you're not acting anymore you are a French speaker. Similarly Somali men should learn how to be gentlemen and find it okay to open car doors for their mothers and aunts and fiancées and wives, it shouldn't be seen as an alien emasculating thing because it's not.

And this is not about a date it's about chivalry and Somalis' thoughts on the subject.

[sadeboi]

Little girl, no one opens doors now except pansies.

Surely only an insecure man would say such a thing but since I doubt that you are one of those men I would like to assume that you are capable of treating a woman like a lady. Romance and chivalry does not come naturally to Somali men but surely if you could go to uni and become a lawyer you could learn how to open car doors, buy flowers and be a gentleman to your lady.

I am not talking about trying to seduce some silly school girl but your lady surely you can't argue with that.

It is when we try to categorize romance that we lose sight in true romance. If my affections are limited and judged by a mere custom of opening a door, then I rather not have it at all. If it is indeed a genuine gesture of love, why do you not ask if sons and daughters open doors for their mothers? Would a mother not be one to receive such a gesture before anyone else, say a women you just met? The reality is we except and expect certain things because we have be ingrained into believing that those things reflect emotions, when they really don't. Focus more on things that matter, when you are meeting someone instead of focusing on trivial things. Look at their character and the person they really are, if it so happens he opens the door for you, thats a bonus, but don't make it more than it is.

[BlackVelvet]

It is when we try to categorize romance that we lose sight in true romance. If my affections are limited and judged by a mere custom of opening a door, then I rather not have it at all. If it is indeed a genuine gesture of love, why do you not ask if sons and daughters open doors for their mothers? Would a mother not be one to receive such a gesture before anyone else, say a women you just met? The reality is we except and expect certain things because we have be ingrained into believing that those things reflect emotions, when they really don't. Focus more on things that matter, when you are meeting someone instead of focusing on trivial things. Look at their character and the person they really are, if it so happens he opens the door for you, thats a bonus, but don't make it more than it is.

So what is true romance then?

Ps Yes men should be gallant towards the females in their lives including mothers, daughters and wives that's what I have been saying this whole time.

[BlackVelvet]

It is when we try to categorize romance that we lose sight in true romance. If my affections are limited and judged by a mere custom of opening a door, then I rather not have it at all. If it is indeed a genuine gesture of love, why do you not ask if sons and daughters open doors for their mothers? Would a mother not be one to receive such a gesture before anyone else, say a women you just met? The reality is we except and expect certain things because we have be ingrained into believing that those things reflect emotions, when they really don't. Focus more on things that matter, when you are meeting someone instead of focusing on trivial things. Look at their character and the person they really are, if it so happens he opens the door for you, thats a bonus, but don't make it more than it is.

So what is true romance then?

.

Don't be chicken. You can't rubbish other people's opinions and not step up with your own. If you are smart enough to point out what romance is not then be brave enough to share what you think it is.

[SultanOrder]

^ the lil girl part got to you eh?

Sadebois idea of true romance nah Perfect_Order's idea of true romance is thus: Ok so, it is the weekend and I go to the local dugsi where I teach the lil kids such things as adab, love of deen, how to have a positive attitude, and generally influence them in a good way more than just having them memorize something, I go home for lunch, something light and easy ( I hate heavy and fancy foods), I tell her some muslim awareness community event is going, and we should go, so I tell her go shopping, while i go to sleep, afterwards we go to it, there is some money being raised for a very important cause but she notices I'm hesitant but she ofcourse being very sympathetic and loves the next world over this one urges me quietly with her looks until I have no choice but to give, but right after that we sneak out and we go to this small restaurant where we reminisce on how we met and how hard it was getting together, and how dorky she use to be before I came along, after that we go on a nice quiet stroll with the stars and the moon out, we go home pray isha and we have a deep satisfying sleep, until fajr.

And it's just another weekend in the life of Perfect_Order and His beloved wifey