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This is like a typical Somali arrangement. I had a friend who just did it and I tried to talk Him out of it because I was just confused. He wanted to do it for 'career reasons'. Finally though I figuired maybe the Men who do this are simply not happy in the marriage and just want a break instead of a divorce.

Murax wrote:This is like a typical Somali arrangement. I had a friend who just did it and I tried to talk Him out of it because I was just confused. He wanted to do it for 'career reasons'. Finally though I figuired maybe the Men who do this are simply not happy in the marriage and just want a break instead of a divorce.

Ditto

BlackVelvet wrote:
Pat, tafadhali kaka kwangu hii ni wrong namba.

Kwani ulidhani nita kula anit depresants eti nilim ditch

Sasa hata humake sense yaani, cheki yule chali ame changanyikiwia kila time nikipita ananiangalia, jokes you know you're my favourite sijui

BlackVelvet wrote:Sasa hata humake sense yaani, cheki yule chali ame changanyikiwia kila time nikipita ananiangalia, jokes you know you're my favourite sijui

Truce.
Sijui niweke maua nyekundu au bendera nyeupe.

BV

What happend to Qoroxeeys topic about young girls who are getting married, last night when i left it was here in the W-section?

Helwaa it was moved to this section then moved back to generals. I don't know what happened to it after that.

I searched for it with no luck, i guess is deleted..i wonder why

salool wrote: If a guy want onther woman he will get what he wants in way or onther..no contract will guarantee his faithfulness.

I think you misunderstood what I was trying to explain to you. A contract is an agreement and can be in writing or a verbal agreement. In almost all cases when a mehr/nikaah happens, the marriage contract (read agreement) is a verbal agreement (with witnesses). Verbal though it may be, it is still a contract. That is why a man divorcing a wife is known as "giving her her paper [contract]" i.e. "waraaqdeeda sii".

As part of the marriage agreement (i.e. mehr ceremony) the woman is fully within her [islamic] rights to stipulate or include a 'clause' that if he marries another woman, their marriage will be null and void. The point of such a clause is that there shall be no polygyny in the relationship, it is not about faithfullness per se. Your comment to which I responded insinuated that polygyny was a man's 'right' and there was nothing a woman could do about that. I wanted to point out that this was not the case and that often Somali women choose not to exercise their god-given rights but instead whine and complain later. It is also often portrayed in western media that muslim women are powerless when it comes to polygyny (an ignorant view that unfortunately some muslims also hold) when in fact this is not the case.

salool wrote: Marriage should't be a jail, if he want someone els it's better to just let him go and move on with ur life.Maxa qof aana ku rabin ay naagiba isugu qasbi.Intaana la is guursan ina waxan oo dhan laga wada hadlo aya fiican.

salool wrote: Maxaa waraaq saxeex iyo buuqas oo dhan keenay.Ur husband or wife should trust you enough to tell you his
feelings and doubts.No need to go behind eachothers back and sneak around.

The use of such a clause does not to make a marriage 'jail' in any sense of the word and nor does it prevent a man from marrying another woman; it just means that if he does, the first marriage is null and void and because that was stipulated in the 'contract' of that first marriage, it is a harsh but effective way of delivering the message 'waan ku furay' or in your words "aana ku rabin". In fact, such a clause makes the situation extemely simple ... so far as polygyny is concerned.

BlackVelvet wrote:Would you allow your husband to move to another country to work for a year or more without you?

How the hell did I miss this thread?!

BV, I am both oddly curious and frightened as to what may be in your contract.

What if what you specify in yours conflicts with what he proposes?

Then we are not a suitable match.

BlackVelvet wrote:Then we are not a suitable match.

Which is exactly why you want him, eh? eh?

Why would I want someone I was not a suitable match with? End up divorced with 2 kids who never get to know their father because he lives in another continent. No thank you.

So you're only a suitable match with someone who completely agrees with and submits to your demands?

for the spineless.