We do not marry those people....

[BlackVelvet]

I prefer not to marry with in my so called qabiil due to obvious reason

Obvious?

[PrinceDaadi]

I prefer not to marry with in my so called qabiil due to obvious reason

Obvious?

When you marry out side of your so called clan/tribe you are creating a bridge/bound which connects communities.
when you marry out side of you clan you help your kids to have abtis and adeers instead of adeers only which will help them in business and politics in the future.

You reduce the risk of the offspring getting inter family marriage caused deceases.


If different communities in Somalis inter marries it creates more cohesion and integration .

[Osob101]

@BlackVelvet - It doesn't strike you as ignorant to limit yourself to a specific pool based on a supposed shared ancestor? Why not limit yourself to at least a region? Or someone from a similar socio-economic background as that of your family? Geographical proximity? Similar in dialect, customs and food? Age?

Are you inbred?

Somali's and Somalia are not the place you grew up in my dear Anarchist. I use to be an Idealist such as urself but things have changed. My parents have never bluntly told me to avoid any Tribe but have given me hints as to what they approve of and what they don't. Avoiding Drama and conflict with my family will always outweigh love or that bullshit in my book andif that means to avoid all Clans other than my own than so be it. It is much easier for boys than for girls.

[Anarchist]

@PrinceDaadi - Well, said.

By marrying outside of your clan, you also expose your children to various perceptions and instill in them tolerance for others outside of their own clan. Not to mention that it will give you and your children a chance to call more than one place home. Instead of being confined to your clan's little villages alone, it'll give you a reason to visit other regions & expose your children to their customs and ways. Which in return causes the child to have a richer culture and become more ccepting than if he/she were an inbred who never knew beyond his/her immediate family. Also, from a biological aspect, it's the equivalent of being suicidal to stick to the same genome pool. You're not only exposing yourself to immunodefiencies, but you're also exposing your future offspring to all sorts of heredetiray traits and diseases common within a certain family.

[BlackVelvet]

I prefer not to marry with in my so called qabiil due to obvious reason

Obvious?

When you marry out side of your so called clan/tribe you are creating a bridge/bound which connects communities.
when you marry out side of you clan you help your kids to have abtis and adeers instead of adeers only which will help them in business and politics in the future.

You reduce the risk of the offspring getting inter family marriage caused deceases.


If different communities in Somalis inter marries it creates more cohesion and integration .

say no to marrying your cousin.

[Anarchist]

@osob - You're absolutely right that I'm still stuck on a Somalia that probably no longer exists, but I feel safer there. Call it my coping mechanism. And although I agree that it is easier for men than women, getting stuck up on someone's clan alone strikes me as pointless. We're not in Somalia, this isn't a hundred years ago where clans had as much value and belonging to one was worth it. Maxaa u heynaa qabiiladeena? Iyagana maxeey noo haayaan? Waxba. Besides, what guarantees are there about these things anyway? You honestly think that a man will have any more respect for you because you're of the same clan? The worst offenders I've met were men married to their own female cousins and it led to family feuds, sisters turning on each other because their messed up children whom they decided to wed to each other were fighting. Nothing uglier than families feuding over sour marriages. At least if your daughter is wronged by some other man, you can cut him and his whole clan off, but when it's your own, how do you do that? My point is there are no guarantees about anything here. You ladies are better off sticking to men your families know, someone similar to you either in age, religion, education, region or socio-economic background.

[grandpakhalif]

I can careless about clan, as long as me and the girl are right for each other and she's a somali I don't care. I will marry her. If she happens to be part of my clan I will marry her too.

[igotkatzngingersnapz]

stone age problems

[Osob101]

Anarchist

You are not a female and will never understand the dilemma we face. I have spoken to men from different clan's than mine but it always falls back to the same question. Will my parents accept it? Parents I believe have multiple personalities and even confuse their children more. On one hand they tell you just bring someone Who is Somali,Muslim and comes from a known place and yet at the same time they slightly hint to you as to what people they approve of. In my case my Grandmother who can sometimes bluntly be very honest states hadaad ducaa rabtiid Cidaada Haa ka fogaan . I have seen a girl who married a man against the wishes of her family and her family cut her off only to get divorced in 4 years and come back to that same family and they still refused to acknowledge her. Her own father had a heart attack when he found out who she married. So when I say I will never marry someone that my parents don't approve of, I have first hand witnessed what issues come with trying to marry someone or people your family does not approve of. As for marrying other just to expose your children to different regions is just too cute. We do have Airplanes and a whole world for our children to see so why just confine them to Somalia. For me personally I will make sure that I will never Marry someone who has lived all their adult life in Somalia because we will not be compatiable.

[Anarchist]

@osob - Why d'you think parents insist on their daughters and even sons marry from their own? Out of being hateful or is it because they want to shield their kids from the hatefulness of whatever clan they're marrying in to? In a messed up way, are such parents trying to do what they think is the right thing, but going about it the wrong way or are they really that qabiilist to the core? As for my statement about having a chance to call more than one place home, I meant it as in having roots there. Not just visiting, but actually having ties to such places. Ma fahantay? You ladies have more to worry about than a man's clan, trust me on that. And it feels very surreal to be having this discussion with people so much younger than me. It's obvious anigaa wareersan.

[Osob101]

My parents are reer Xamar and have never lived out in the Baadiyo so it really has nothing to do with being tribalist if or anything. For them it's just that they prefer we marry people that we know which basically is another code word of your own Tol. My parents don't care about the boys heck one of my brothers is married to a Djiboutian and that's why I said you boys will never understand the dilemma we face as women. Parents always look out for the interest of their children and me personally I don't have it in me to go against the wishes of my parents.

[Tanker]

Fuck Qabil! If I loves a man and his personality I will marry him even if his father is General Aideed!

[Anarchist]

My parents are reer Xamar and have never lived out in the Baadiyo so it really has nothing to do with being tribalist if or anything. For them it's just that they prefer we marry people that we know which basically is another code word of your own Tol. My parents don't care about the boys heck one of my brothers is married to a Djiboutian and that's why I said you boys will never understand the dilemma we face as women. Parents always look out for the interest of their children and me personally I don't have it in me to go against the wishes of my parents.

I'm sure it's not easy, walaashiis. Ilaaheey ha idin sahlo, amiin.

Remember though that once you become a mother, you'll have the chance to break off from this vicious cycle and rear children who can become cultured, confident and tolerant i.e. productive members of a society.

[greenday]

Ive not been told this and i do not know one single person refused to be given away based on qabiil! but i do think people should be honest with themselves, you might like the person but if you can not respect their family then stay away. Majortity of people will marry from their qabiil not because they actively seek it but that just happens like Londoners will marry Londoners

I would personally marry anyone but he would have to be willing to make Xamar his home and this might rule out some people, men naturally expect that you buy home where they are from

Something funny happened recently, wiil aa gabar loo diide and his brother gets angry and says "ma boon aa nahay" this really made me laugh because he wants his qabiil to be respected yet he does not respect other qabiils? would he be fine with the rejection had he been boon?

[Based]

You lot are just being politically correct now. PO how would you feel about marrying a Sacad girl who thought Caydiid was a noble liberator or an Isaaq one whose blood would boil at the mere mention of MSB?

Wallahi I would divorce her on the spot.