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Otherbrother wrote:

sophisticate wrote:[
Heavens no. The problem lies in them thinking you are their peer. They target you because they assume you are the same age, not older than your own age but significantly younger. If father time is unkind in your youth, then chances are you are cadaan.

How old do people normally think you are?

Normally, early 20s. People think I'm younger than my younger brother who is 4 years my junior. I think this is the norm with Somali girls. They tend to look younger than their age. Unless they experience constant sleep deprivation, rapid weight gain/loss, drug use and/or severe trauma. The only thing I've noticed is my cheeks are less puffy now then when I was younger. That's the only change. And I'm not complaining.

Itrah wrote:

sophisticate wrote:

Itrah wrote:Women age faster than men, especially when it comes to skin.

It does not make any sense why men would prefer older women.

Masha'Allah Somali women are blessed in that department, when they adequately take care of themselves they reap the rewards. I sincerely doubt women look older than men of the same age cohort.

It is universal. Women have lower collagen production than men especially passed their prime.

Must be something evolutionary to keep men away from women who are older than them.

Itrah unless you bring validated proof I'm not buying it. You cannot speak universally for all people. Especially those with darker skin.
I have yet to find a Somali man and woman of the same age, where the woman looks older.

sophisticate wrote:

Otherbrother wrote:

sophisticate wrote:[
Heavens no. The problem lies in them thinking you are their peer. They target you because they assume you are the same age, not older than your own age but significantly younger. If father time is unkind in your youth, then chances are you are cadaan.

How old do people normally think you are?

Normally, early 20s. People think I'm younger than my younger brother who is 4 years my junior. I think this is the norm with Somali girls. They tend to look younger than their age. Unless they experience constant sleep deprivation, rapid weight gain/loss, drug use and/or severe trauma. The only thing I've noticed is my cheeks are less puffy now then when I was younger. That's the only change. And I'm not complaining.

Sounds good to me Nah I'm kidding, as I always tell people. Its good to look Young as we ain't getting any younger.

Until facial hair started growing, I looked like a baby with my puffy cheeks and baby face.
At least I don't have a Somali forehead and buck teeth. Alhamdulillah.

Honestly can't see my self with a woman younger than 17 and older than 30 atm. I'm 23 turning 24 in july.

Lillaahiya wrote:

Perfect_Order wrote:You didn't reply back to my pm and yet you making topics boo.

@sophi i don't know why you entertain these nonsensical creatures...what man debates about light vs dark skin? most somali men I've seen are brown to dark blue lol. forget these fools.

i am not into old farts..I prefer a man same age as me..or two-three years younger than me..something attractive about innocent wadad guys.

Smile-LiKe-SuN-RiSE wrote:i am not into old farts..I prefer a man same age as me..or two-three years younger than me..something attractive about innocent wadad guys.

Something about a young hip wadaad.. Who also have degrees and is modern.

Don't like older guys you can't share certain jokes with them coz they're too old to get it.

Present wrote:A younger man would be like 22 or something and barely out of university? Ciyaal

Tbh, our dhaqan is harsh when it comes to this; I know a girl who married someone about 3-5 years younger his family was upset and tried to sabotage the wedding...but it all worked out alhamdulilah.

It's harsh indeed. Thankfully, the Somali culture isn't alone on this one.

With regards to the study: if this study examined "short-to-medium-term relationships" while excluding "marriage relationships" then I can totally see why a younger man would be interested in a slightly older woman, and why an older woman would be interested in a younger man. When we're not talking long-term relationships, all things matter very little except the physical.

Generally speaking, men prefer younger women and women prefer older men. But on too many occasions, I've seen 30-40+ folks (men and women) behave and think like grade school children. On the flip side, I've come across kids just out of high school that exude maturity and wisdom. We've all come across these phenomena at one time or another. Maturity, wisdom, and a good heart are so important to me, so on the rare occasion that a woman combines these three traits, I've got no qualms about breaking with our cultural norm, she can be years older than me. Somali women are gorgeous and tend to age well anyway. But all things being equal, I prefer a younger woman, as do most men. And most women prefer older men.

Perfect_Order wrote:

Lillaahiya wrote:

Perfect_Order wrote:You didn't reply back to my pm and yet you making topics boo.

PO making his rounds smh

Kareem99 wrote:

Present wrote:A younger man would be like 22 or something and barely out of university? Ciyaal

Tbh, our dhaqan is harsh when it comes to this; I know a girl who married someone about 3-5 years younger his family was upset and tried to sabotage the wedding...but it all worked out alhamdulilah.

It's harsh indeed. Thankfully, the Somali culture isn't alone on this one.

With regards to the study: if this study examined "short-to-medium-term relationships" while excluding "marriage relationships" then I can totally see why a younger man would be interested in a slightly older woman, and why an older woman would be interested in a younger man. When we're not talking long-term relationships, all things matter very little except the physical.

Generally speaking, men prefer younger women and women prefer older men. But on too many occasions, I've seen 30-40+ folks (men and women) behave and think like grade school children. On the flip side, I've come across kids just out of high school that exude maturity and wisdom. We've all come across these phenomena at one time or another. Maturity, wisdom, and a good heart are so important to me, so on the rare occasion that a woman combines these three traits, I've got no qualms about breaking with our cultural norm, she can be years older than me. Somali women are gorgeous and tend to age well anyway. But all things being equal, I prefer a younger woman, as do most men. And most women prefer older men.

However, women still prefer men their age or a bit older. Marrying considerably older men isn't something they would prefer, and many do so, mainly for financial security. The study in question focused on dating relationships. It wasn't exhaustive enough to include marital ones. You must realize that they aren't quite as ridge about age gaps as we are. A man in his 20s wouldn't object to marrying a woman slightly older than him. However, Somalis make a huge deal out of this. Even 2-years is considered a travesty. This has more to do with the opinions of others. Most people can't tell the age of a Somali woman in her 20s. Unless time has been unkind to them. Even in their 30s they look the same, provided they don't gain weight. However as hooyo once said its probably her reproductive life cycle they are more concerned with, not her young looking face.

sophisticate wrote:

Kareem99 wrote:

Present wrote:A younger man would be like 22 or something and barely out of university? Ciyaal

Tbh, our dhaqan is harsh when it comes to this; I know a girl who married someone about 3-5 years younger his family was upset and tried to sabotage the wedding...but it all worked out alhamdulilah.

It's harsh indeed. Thankfully, the Somali culture isn't alone on this one.

With regards to the study: if this study examined "short-to-medium-term relationships" while excluding "marriage relationships" then I can totally see why a younger man would be interested in a slightly older woman, and why an older woman would be interested in a younger man. When we're not talking long-term relationships, all things matter very little except the physical.

Generally speaking, men prefer younger women and women prefer older men. But on too many occasions, I've seen 30-40+ folks (men and women) behave and think like grade school children. On the flip side, I've come across kids just out of high school that exude maturity and wisdom. We've all come across these phenomena at one time or another. Maturity, wisdom, and a good heart are so important to me, so on the rare occasion that a woman combines these three traits, I've got no qualms about breaking with our cultural norm, she can be years older than me. Somali women are gorgeous and tend to age well anyway. But all things being equal, I prefer a younger woman, as do most men. And most women prefer older men.

However, women still prefer men their age or a bit older. Marrying considerably older men isn't something they would prefer, and many do so, mainly for financial security. The study in question focused on dating relationships. It wasn't exhaustive enough to include marital ones. You must realize that they aren't quite as ridge about age gaps as we are. A man in his 20s wouldn't object to marrying a woman slightly older than him. However, Somalis make a huge deal out of this. Even 2-years is considered a travesty. This has more to do with the opinions of others. Most people can't tell the age of a Somali woman in her 20s. Unless time has been unkind to them. Even in their 30s they look the same, provided they don't gain weight. However as hooyo once said its probably her reproductive life cycle they are more concerned with, not her young looking face.

When I said women generally prefer older men I meant just a few years, not the significantly large age gap that we see from time to time (10 + years). And yes, we as Somalis make a big deal about a woman even slightly older than her man. The reason why I asked about the parameters of the study is because the age preferences change depending on the type of relationships.

I know our culture is harsh when it comes to this, but it's an otherwise amazing one. I live my life caring very little about what others have to say, and the only people whose opinions I value (my family) are amazing people who wouldn't make a big deal about this. If she's a gem of a person, and she's cute, I'm a fool to turn her down because she's 2 years older than me.

Everyone should be able to marry whoever they like. As long both are consenting adults, then it shouldn't matter. And don't worry about what Somalis or anyone else thinks. Just do you.

Perfect_Order wrote:

Lillaahiya wrote:

Perfect_Order wrote:You didn't reply back to my pm and yet you making topics boo.

Wahagaag