Snet Speed Dating

[Sophisticate]

Thank you friends. I think I'll take a break with the combos for a bit.

Would any of you folks like to write the dialogue?

I'd love to see this...

[0sman]

Salool & MrKutiiriye aka Menace (O Lord)

[Given his horny nature & shameless hitting on every female he sets his eyes on, he tries his luck on Madam Salool, despite having his own doubts and fears regarding her tough & never-backing-down e-nature. This is how it went down]

Menace: Salool, what’s up? How is Ramadaan, sis?
Salool: Waryaa, stop there. Don’t try that ish on me, kiddo.

Menace: (Expected such reply from Salool) Wow! Relax, walaal. Just wanted to say hi. What’s wrong with that?

Salool: I know you & how your dirty mind works so don’t you ever try that again.

[Things seem to have stalled before they even started. Menace starts sweating & goes for another round].
Menace: Look, I know I have my not-so-good reputation around here but that’s not the real me in real life. Ask AbdiJohnson, he knows me. (Upon mentioning AbdiJohnson he realizes he’s shot himself in the foot).

Salool: Allah, AbdiJohnson aa? War kaa maxaa ku baray? Isn’t he Atheist or something? Noloshaad ku urtay. Akhas! Goor dambe hay ila hadlin, wax yahow dhintay.
[What she didn’t expect is, the more she called him names the more determined he was becoming. Once Kutiiriye always Kutiiriye).

Menace: Listen, first of all you don’t have to assume things & believe everything you read on the internet. Believe it or not, AbdiJohnson is wadaad and he’s fasting right now. And I am a decent, hardworking guy so think before you call people names. You might be missing an opportunity here.

Salool: Missing an opportunity? What is that supposed to mean? Do you think I would consider a guy like you? Keep dreaming, kid.

Menace: Girl, aren’t you full of yourself? I know you’re looking for calaf on Somalinet & I am capable of taking care of you so give a brother a chance, will ya?

Salool: Alla hoogay oo ba’ay! I would rather die single than share a bed with you even if you are the last man on earth. [And she tries to throw a cup of boiling tea on him ...……………………………..]


Ah, screw it. Can’t be bothered to write such long-ass dialogue since I don’t know a lot about the members in here. Plus, sophisticate's a comedian by nature so I think, Sophi, this is all yours, sis.

[StormShadow]

Not bad actually.

[YummyMummy]

should have inserted more jokes, but still, good literature

[SecretAgent]

Dr.Y: Qaldaans brought it to Walaaweynes
Evol: Excuse me?
Dr.Y: I heard the goats and sheep chew too.
Evol: What animal doesn’t chew food, except snakes
Dr.Y: No khat.

[ Evol decides to leave abruptly ]

[salool]

Osman, you dont know me that well xoolo yahow.
Delete that shit

[0sman]

PS: By the way, it's for LOL's so relax.

[Sophisticate]

Osman nice job.

[Sophisticate]

Sophisticate + NegroDamus + Perfect_Order


NegroDamus: Waste of time.
Soph: Excuse me?
NegroDamus: You’re meant to be alone.
Soph: Why?
NegroDamus: You have issues. We discussed this earlier.
Soph: Refresh my memory.
NegroDamus: You’re 28 and single.
And you find nothing wrong with that.
Soph: Happiness you can’t get from a man,
for everything else there’s MasterCard.
NegroDamus: So you’re going to buy a man?
Soph: I have three citizenships and some dollar bills.
NegroDamus: You want to drop visas on a fob.
All you need is an attitude adjustment.
Soph: My attitude is fine.
NegroDamus: You’re complicated, and faraxs are simple.
Soph: So, what do faraxs want?
NegroDamus: Feed him, Freak him and don’t fuss.
Soph: That sounds like an adult baby.
NegroDamus: And you can’t even do any of them.
Soph: So I have self-respect and no STIs, and that’s a problem.
Faraxs should be jumping up and down in jubilation.
NegroDamus: What woman can’t cook, talks back, and thinks
a v-card is all she needs to secure marriage?
Soph: I’ve got more to offer.
NegroDamus: A Masters doesn’t count.
A man would rather marry a perfume girl from Macys.
Soph: Not all men are down for that.
NegroDamus: As long as she’s nice, hot and doesn’t compete with him.
He doesn’t care about how much she makes, or what she does.
Soph: Fragile egos like to be stroked. I understand.
NegroDamus: That’s why successful men are turned off.
Who wants to give it to a she-man?
Change your attitude, get different results.
Soph: I’m not changing for anyone.
NegroDamus: Let Marques or Zubeir carry your bags,
But we both know you want a bad boy.
Soph: Sorry no daddy issues, so I’ll take a pass on
damaged goods.
NegroDamus: What you really need is a man…
that has your curvatures mapped out like Columbus.
Soph: If I’m not mistaken he didn’t make it to India.
NegroDamus: West Indies.
Soph: Is that where you’re from?
NegroDamus: Relax.
Soph: There’s a lady that wants to molest your ears.
NegroDamus: Where?
Soph: Table Three
[NegroDamus heads to Basra’s table]
Soph: Free at last.

[Perfect order steps in and asks if the vacant seat is taken]
Soph: No.
P_O: I heard you have no life skills.
Soph: Come to rub it in?
P_O: No I’m prepared to teach you.
Soph: Is that why you have an apron on?
P_O: Nah, I’m ahead of the curve.
Soph: Is that a metrosexual thing.
P_O: It’s just a wearable
placement napkin.
Soph: It looks like an oversized bibe for your crotch.
P_O: Nayaa you’re the one in need of help.
Soph: What did you say?
[Perfect_Order starts running]

[Julkimi]

Sophisticate + NegroDamus + Perfect_Order



[Perfect order steps in and ask if the seat is taken]
Soph: No.
P_O: I heard you have no life skills.
Soph: Come to rub it in?
P_O: No I’m prepared to teach you.
Soph: Is that why you have an apron on?
P_O: Nah, I’m ahead of the curb.
Soph: Is that a metrosexual thing.
P_O: It’s just a wearable
placement napkin.
Soph: It looks like an oversized bibe for your crotch.
P_O: Nayaa you’re the one in need of help.
Soph: What did you say?
[Perfect_Oder starts running]

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

[YummyMummy]

NegroDamus meeting = spot-on

PO's one is missing some sass, I always imagined you and PO would have had riveting & sizzling conversations, for real.

[Sophisticate]

Thanks Julkumi. Glad you liked it.

Really YummyMummy. It's the first time I've heard that . Perfect_Order is charming, perhaps he'll say something redeeming *next time*.
I didn't want it to be too long and risk putting you guys to sleep. Thanks though.

[ZubeirAwal]

[jamal9]

no time to talk or date

[Sophisticate]

I was bored and decided to bring back this thread.

[During this round Idman is seated with Bandit]

Idman: Young, short and broke. Bye!
Bandit: I’m 180 cm.
Idman: [Takes a sip of her green tea] That’s short for a Dhulbahante.
Bandit: I’m still growing.
Idman: That's funny. Let’s cut to the chase, what do you do?
Bandit: Ummm….
Idman: Speak up.
Bandit: I put in overtime karbashing samosas on snet.
Idman: And you consider that a job? Do you at least go to school?
Bandit: About that…I forgot to go to classes for a month. Now, Mama Dukes is shipping me off– dhaqan celis style.
Idman: That’s horrible. Why don’t you apply yourself?
Bandit: I’ve got a backup plan.I’m going to be a chief back home.
Idman: You’re kidding, right?
Bandit: Nah, I’ll be living the life. Free money from the tol and kicking it all day at the xaafad with my four wives.
Idman: Keep this up and the only garad you’ll be is a welfare king, if you continue with this foolishness.
Bandit: Every man needs his queen.
Idman: Perish the thought. That will never happen.
Bandit: Can’t blame a guy for trying.
Idman: Aren't you leaving?
Bandit: Yeah, tonight.
Idman: What are you still doing here?
Bandit: I need a lift.
Idman: Don’t you have a car?
Bandit: No, it got repoed.
Idman: So call hooyo or a taxi.
Bandit: Here's the problem - I have no money on me. I don't remember hooyo's car, but I know she drives a van.
Idman: So does half of MN. Don’t you at least know the make and model?
Bandit: No.
Idman: Why don’t you ask OriginalDervish for a ride, he’s over there -> [Points to table 3]
Bandit: I just wanted some alone time.
[Idman gets up and leaves]
[Rambie steps in to take her place]
Rambie: I think we have some unfinished business.