When polygamy goes right

[LiquidHYDROGEN]

Nobody forced them to sell their coochie for half an apple. Somali men may have a lot of problems, but 'cheap and clean' isn't one of them and you have no right to blame them for your lack of self-worth. I mentioned xabashis because you'll never hear of them running off to cadaans and madows (at least I have never heard of such a thing). You only have to read the revenge stories of xabashi maids in the middle-east to see these women have fierce pride as opposed to Somali chicks who are all talk and then are willing to drop their knickers for a basket of fruit. I am generalizing because it might not be the overwhelming majority, but it is Somalis women in general. Their level of qooq and sexual appetite must be unreal.

What makes it even more annoying is their excuses about "marrying for the sake of Allah SWT". I know you just can't keep your knickers up, don't pretend like you are more pious than arab, paki, Chinese muslim girls.

[wiyeer]

Nobody forced them to sell their coochie for half an apple. Somali men may have a lot of problems, but 'cheap and clean' isn't one of them and you have no right to blame them for your lack of self-worth. I mentioned xabashis because you'll never hear of them running off to cadaans and madows (at least I have never heard of such a thing). You only have to read the revenge stories of xabashi maids in the middle-east to see these women have fierce pride as opposed to Somali chicks who are all talk and then are willing to drop their knickers for a basket of fruit. I am generalizing because it might not be the overwhelming majority, but it is Somalis women in general. Their level of qooq and sexual appetite must be unreal.

What makes it even more annoying is their excuses about "marrying for the sake of Allah SWT". I know you just can't keep your knickers up, don't pretend like you are more pious than arab, paki, Chinese muslim girls.

Hold your horses there mate, I think you got some insecurities about somali women and by making a dumb generalisation like this you feel like a big man. Every community has good and bad folks, so stop the BS. Futhermore, whats with all this policing? Do you see other people police their women? no because they don't believe their women's coochie is sacred and only for them. A woman (or a man for that matter) who's inclined to do bad will do it in any case, so put down the binoculars and get on with your life sxb.

[MissFiora]

L.H Xabashi women are prostitutes haa ii faanin. If you have ever been to Ethiopia u will find them running around with white middle aged men, here in the UAE u see them with fat Arabs. I agree with you when it comes to saying that some Somali women lack self worth beenta ma'ahaa but don't put Ethiopian women on pedestal. Ethiopian women in the Middle East are treated like animals, any women who works as a maid and is constantly raped, tortured and abused would at some point break down, and seek revenge so I don't think that's a good example of this 'fierce pride' u speak of.

Some Somali women see marriage as a way out, the reality is that they live in broken homes where they are treated like shidh. They are disempowered, they live in homes where a mother is too busy collecting caydh money and using it for hagbad,they live in homes where they are treated like live-in maids instead of a daughter, they live in homes where their fathers are absent. Ultimately, the fault lies with the head of the household (the father). Some have qooq issues I agree but most are just desperate to get out of the situations that they are in, and that I can't blame them for that.

[zumaale]

Those habashis in the Middle East are doing it out of gaajo but in the West, they mainly stick to their own and do not suffer from the inferiority complex that plagues some of our Somali women.

You hit the nail on the coffin in regards to how the lack of a father figure and ignorant mothers breed wayward Somali females. The problem stems from the breakdown of our traditional social order after Civil War and the inability of some men to be responsible fathers when they immigrated to the west. Some men who were employed in positions of authority became disillusioned with having to start from nothing. As for the Somali mothers, they are not traditionally as docile or obedient as women from other ethnic groups such as Arabs and Pakistanis, so when the opportunity arose in the West to challenge their husbands, some did at the detriment of the children.

As for your friend that dropped out of uni and got married, MashAllah. Who are we to judge her for being a second wife. From an Islamic perspective, she also acted with dignity by refusing to carry on with her studies due to the haram entailed in it. A lot of sisters are led to live a lie by their parents. They are pushed to be successful academically and professionally at the expense of their deen, and they end up being confused as to whether they can cope with being a housewife or submitting themselves to a man. It's like they are expected to live double lives; be a good Muslimah whilst simultaneously earning their bread in situations where there are forced to sacrifice their Islamic principles by mixing with non-Muhram men or travelling long distances etc.

[LiquidHYDROGEN]

Hold your horses there mate, I think you got some insecurities about somali women and by making a dumb generalisation like this you feel like a big man. Every community has good and bad folks, so stop the BS. Futhermore, whats with all this policing? Do you see other people police their women? no because they don't believe their women's coochie is sacred and only for them. A woman (or a man for that matter) who's inclined to do bad will do it in any case, so put down the binoculars and get on with your life sxb.

Spoken like someone who has never been outside their front door. When you see more Somali and non-Somali women, then we can talk, until then go out and observe.

L.H Xabashi women are prostitutes haa ii faanin. If you have ever been to Ethiopia u will find them running around with white middle aged men, here in the UAE u see them with fat Arabs. I agree with you when it comes to saying that some Somali women lack self worth beenta ma'ahaa but don't put Ethiopian women on pedestal. Ethiopian women in the Middle East are treated like animals, any women who works as a maid and is constantly raped, tortured and abused would at some point break down, and seek revenge so I don't think that's a good example of this 'fierce pride' u speak of.

And there are no Somali prostitutes? Forget prostitutes, I'm talking about the average Somali and xabashi woman and I have seen some big differences. I don't know what's happened to Somali in last decade or so but they have become desperate and horny. Maybe they were always like that and they just hid it well before, I don't know. Do you how embarrassing it is for some smelly arab grinningly to say to you that all his friends are married to Somali chicks?

Some Somali women see marriage as a way out, the reality is that they live in broken homes where they are treated like shidh. They are disempowered, they live in homes where a mother is too busy collecting caydh money and using it for hagbad,they live in homes where they are treated like live-in maids instead of a daughter, they live in homes where their fathers are absent. Ultimately, the fault lies with the head of the household (the father). Some have qooq issues I agree but most are just desperate to get out of the situations that they are in, and that I can't blame them for that.

I agree whole-heartedly here. Somali parents are largely failures, 60% of the fault lying on the father's door. At the same time, human beings are given an innate pride and self-worth regardless of upbringing and I just don't see it in a lot Somali chicks. It's sad these are all potential mothers and your child's mother should have self-respect and dignity.

[Hodan94]

I dont tend to generalise, I grew up in a good home with both of my parents, only negative side was they both worked, and throughout my childhood I had less time to spend with them and more time being spent im after school clubs and friends house before bring picked up in the evening. My older bro and sis are all married to nice folks and live comfortably. All im saying is dont generalise, if ur speaking of ur experiences then fine but dont speak for everyone just because you've seen other men or women or parents do these things that everyone is the same

[Keyblade]

We're not talking about some teenage girl here, this is a 41 year old woman who's being judged on here like she was some type of prostitute, simply because she chose to be the third wife of a non-Somali.

[Amira143]

I actually agree with your last comment, LH. Somali girls are more brazen nowadays. Just look around the shiid they type or utter in social media and other places, It's about daqan and xishood as long as they lack those expect anything.

Lakin not all of us are cut from the same cloth. We all have our own faults like with any other community.

[LeJusticier]

I didn't read except few cross talk between yummy and lady Basra. However, this shid practice is stressful and will lead you early death.

https://www.opendemocracy.net/5050/masj ... ous-family

[Tuushi]

We're not talking about some teenage girl here, this is a 41 year old woman who's being judged on here like she was some type of prostitute, simply because she chose to be the third wife of a non-Somali.

There is nothing we do better than directing people how to live.

Why we exert more energy on these issues when our personal lives arent ideal amazes.Really,how does this have any affect on our lives.

[STARKAST]

Its counter productive in insulting Somali women.

[SecretAgent]

20,000 polygamy marriages out of 2-3 million muslims

[Cherine]

Nobody forced them to sell their coochie for half an apple. Somali men may have a lot of problems, but 'cheap and clean' isn't one of them and you have no right to blame them for your lack of self-worth. I mentioned xabashis because you'll never hear of them running off to cadaans and madows (at least I have never heard of such a thing). You only have to read the revenge stories of xabashi maids in the middle-east to see these women have fierce pride as opposed to Somali chicks who are all talk and then are willing to drop their knickers for a basket of fruit. I am generalizing because it might not be the overwhelming majority, but it is Somalis women in general. Their level of qooq and sexual appetite must be unreal.

What makes it even more annoying is their excuses about "marrying for the sake of Allah SWT". I know you just can't keep your knickers up, don't pretend like you are more pious than arab, paki, Chinese muslim girls.

Haven't you ever picked up a book on basic psychology? It's amazing what damage a deadbeat dad can do to a daughter's self esteem. You see it in other communities like cadaans, afro carribeans etc etc. Alhamdullilah we are Muslims, otherwise these same girls would have been the biggest porn stars, glamour models, prostitutes insteadof seeking 'tufaax' marriages.
If I had a daughter i'd rather tell her your dad is dead than tell her your dad abandoned you.

[LobsterUnit]

The z.i.i.l police again.

[Lillaahiya]

We're not talking about some teenage girl here, this is a 41 year old woman who's being judged on here like she was some type of prostitute, simply because she chose to be the third wife of a non-Somali.

How f-king dare she.