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The whole process of dating, falling in love and getting married produces unrealistic expectations, does not prepare the couple for living together, idealises the time BEFORE marriage when the couple was free from such burdens as work and child commitments and there was 'passion', and its not really efficient.
All these factors combine to make love marriages LESS successful than arranged marriages, becuase the latter address the practicalities of marriage, while the former works on the 'love conquers all' schtick.
Ismahan, darling, which would you prefer? The short but passionate marriage, or the long term familiarity and affection that is built upon during a more practically minded marriage?
Why does it have to be short and passionate, when you can make it long and passionate? I mean whats wrong with marrying someone you love and is passionate and at the same time ready for marriage and its responsiblities. Life is not black and white Padishah.
It doesn't have to be short and passionate, but statistical analysis shows that expecting a long, passionate, romantic marriages are a rarity. There is nothing wrong with being in love, getting married, and settling down and having a family. A combination of pressures makes the 'blissfully married' dream quite far from reality.
You have a point, and that accurately explains why people will sometimes be dating for years and get divorced within 6 months.
it doesn't take long to fall in love, and people's judgements are altered when in love so they may overlook a lot of things they will find unbearable later.
I think it's fine to get married while IN love, but you can also fall in love after marriage as well.
I think there isn't one clearcut rule that works, but people who seem inflexible to either option seem to do worse.
"All these factors combine to make love marriages LESS successful than arranged marriages, becuase the latter address the practicalities of marriage, while the former works on the 'love conquers all' schtick."
Padishah Define less successful? Divorce rate is a very poor indicator of success or failure in marriage. Lots of people stay in bad marraiges, doesn't mean the marriage is a success. I would NEVER consider letting my mother select a woman for me nor would I consider a lifetime committment with a woman I did not get to know first, both in terms of personality and sexual performance. You want to go that route, because it will be more "successful" have at it.