Steal this poop !!!!!!!!!

[Daanyeer]

Source: Asylum Forums
July 7, 2006 Author: Wayne Madsen


Even Bush's Feces & Urine Are Classified Top Secret All Of It Captured And Flown Back From Europe

Even Bush's crap is classified top secret. According to our Austrian sources, Austrian newspapers are currently abuzz with special security details of George W. Bush's recent trip to Vienna. Although the heavy-handed Gestapo-like security measures meted out to Viennese home owners, business proprietors, and pedestrians by US Secret Service agents and local police before and during Bush's visit received widespread Austrian media attention, it was White House "toilet security" ("TOILSEC"), which has Austrians talking the most.

The White House flew in a special portable toilet to Vienna for Bush's personal use during his visit. The Bush White House is so concerned about Bush's security, the veil of secrecy extends over the president's bodily excretions. The special port-a-john captured Bush's feces and urine and flew the waste material back to the United States in the event some enterprising foreign intelligence agency conducted a sewage pipe operation designed to trap and examine Bush's waste material. One can only wonder why the White House is taking such extraordinary security measures for the presidential poop.

In the past, similar operations were conducted against foreign leaders to determine their medical condition. However, these intelligence operations were directed against dictators in countries where even the medical conditions of the top political leaders were considered "state secrets."

The Israeli Mossad conducted one such operation against Syrian President Hafez Assad when he visited Amman, Jordan in Feb. 1999 for the funeral of King Hussein. The Mossad and its Jordanian counterpart installed a special toilet in Assad's hotel room that led not to a pipe but to a specimen canister. Assad suffered from diabetes and cancer and the operation was designed to discover the actual medical condition of the ailing leader.

During Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev's visit to Washington in 1987, the CIA reportedly placed a special trap under a sewage tank to collect the Soviet leader's bodily waste for analysis.

More recently, the CIA was reported to have collected waste samples from Ugandan President-dictator Yoweri Museveni's toilet when he visited Washington.

Even Bush's toilet paper was flown in from the U.S. Air Base at Ramstein, Germany. In addition, Bush's food was flown in from the United States and tested with special chemicals before he ate it. Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu, who was shot by a firing squad in 1989, was the last major European leader to constantly use a food tester. The last frequent state visitor to Vienna, who always relied on a food tester, was Adolf Hitler.

[*jr]

PETA Protests Use of Mice to Test Bush's Food

BANGKOK — Responding to the announcement that mice will be used to test for food poisoning at the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit later this month in Bangkok, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals – PETA has gone into high gear.

Goveg.com, a spokesperson for the group, deplored this latest development in the ongoing fight against terrorism. "Using innocent mice to ferret out poison - no offense to ferrets - is a crime against the animal or rodent kingdom," she exhorted. "It would be much better to test for poison on life forms that wouldn't be missed, like John Ashcroft, Karl Rove, Pat Robertson, etc.

Echoing these sentiments, Mickey Mouse, contacted at his palatial home in Coral Gables, Florida, expressed his outrage over this abuse of his kinfolk. "Minnie and I are setting up a foundation to aid any mouse who is orphaned as a result of this outlandish scheme of the Thais to protect the world leaders that will be attending the conference. Just knowing how many people get sick from food poisoning when they travel to exotic ports anyway guarantees that we'll probably lose some productive members of the mouse fraternity through this travesty."

While the projected number of mice that will be needed remained unknown, the Bangkok papers reported that at least 20,000 health workers would be on hand during the summit to guarantee that the leaders and their entourages remained in good health.

In an ironic twist, it was reported that none of the 20,000 health workers have any health insurance coverage and no mice would be sacrificed to test the health workers' food.