Dating Somalis vs Non Somalis... my problem

[waranle84]

I dont know why I would like to expose myself like this, but I have to let out something that has been bothering me for a long while.

First of all, a little synopsis of myself...I'm 24, I'm a university grad., very good looking (and no, I'm not tooting my horn, I know I'm one of the very rare handsome Somali men out there, lol) and very witty and articulate. Basically, I'm a catch if there's ever one out there.

Inspite of all of these great aforementioned qualities, I've yet to date a Somali girl. No, I do not blame my Somali sisters, quite the contrary...the fault wholly lies with me. For some reason, the thought of having to 'explain myself' to her parents about our relationship and its circumstances, turns me off greatly from Somali chicks. This is due to the fact that Islam shuns casual dating.

BUT...then again, I've dated a very nice, pretty Pakistani girl, from a Muslim family, so can I really legitimately use Islam as an excuse for me not approaching Somali girls? No.

So far, besides the Pakistani girl, I've also dated an Ethiopian chick, and a Quebecois/Haitian girl. I've also had casual friendships with several other girls from all backgrounds, except...of course, Somali.

Now that I'm much older, I feel like settling down with a Somali girl, but would you know it, I have alot of insecurities...I really feel like I might have to answer to her parents more than I'd like to (with regards to things like marriage and so on, things that I'd want to pursue on my OWN TERMS and when I'M GOOD AND READY) and of course...gossip.

I did not have the fortune/misfortune of living in an area with a sizeable Somali community, so I really dont meet alot of Somalis on a daily basis, and the reason being that when I was quite young, my mother decided to move us to a place with almost no Somalis, mainly because she was tired of all the gossip the men and women engage in. This was not because my mother has anything to hide, no... she is a very classy, dignified and intelligent lady...my father is a very religous, educated and well respected man. So there are no potential 'scandals' or 'skeletons in our closets' to fear getting out in the open, its just that my parents are very private people.

I think that this impeded me, because I yearn for Somali contact these days, and I live in Canada, where we Somalis are quite numerous, but I also developed the 'waryness' of Somali gossipping the same way my mother has. Also, although my 'af soomaali' is about average, I've lost alot of the more advanced vocabulary. My Af Soomaali is just a little bit above rudimentary/basic, enough to carry out a conversation, but not to use in a 'romantic' setting, if you can catch the drift...I'd like to speak to a Somali girl in proper, classy Somali. I WISH!

My parents also put me on a difficult situation because all throughout my teens, they would discourage almost all sorts of interactions with the female sex, because of our Islamic upbringing...but being quite popular with girls, I always had at least a girl or two calling the house and having the embarrassing scenario of my mother cursing them out as 'sharmuuto' on the other line.

With age, came the independence, of course...but still, I am too proud to continue living in the state I currently am. Basically, its 'dont ask, dont tell' when it comes to my girlfriends and my parents. I dont want such a relationship for a Somali girl, never.

So this is my dilemma.

When I see the most beautiful Somali girls with all of these non Somalis, I sometimes wonder if it's because of situations like mine, falling on my fellow Somali brothers, and if it is, can we really put the blame on our girls looking for affection elsewhere?

I'd like your comments, please I need some advice...and I've already spoken to my parents about being interested in a Somali girl to pursue a relationship with. I do not believe in arranging marriages or anything like that, but I intend to get married in the next couple of years inshaAllah.

Thanks

[Shankaroon_614]

Waranle, let me be the first to give u an advice walaal. Well, first of all, the way ur writing Somali is pretty good actually, but then again ur hadal can be different like u said. It is easy if u try and motivate yourself. Well Canadians are known for the lack of Somali language

So tell me here before I say anything else, are you saying that you are scared of a relationship with a Somali girl? Please answer

[Gedo_Boy]

I'm kinda looking for some of those answers myself.

[HELWAA]

I dont think you are ready for a somali girl walaal...What you need is
DHAQAN CELIS BACK HOME......to learn the culture, the langauge and
how to be a real man.That is my advice.

allah macaak.

[IZNOGOOD]

most somali girls are leftovers go for arab girls

[Somaliweyn]

''What you need is DHAQAN CELIS BACK HOME......to learn the culture, the langauge and
how to be a real man.''



This topic reminds me of the article P.ussification of the Western male. These '' ooh i can't find the right-one'' drama stories were girls talk. When did a Faarax decide to go on this road

I would heed Helwaa's advice.

As for me,

I got 99 problems but b.itch aint one
If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son

[Samatr]

[quote="Shankaroon_614"] Well Canadians are known for the lack of Somali language

[/quote]

Thats a lie!!!!!

[Leila2007]

Helwaa

You are harsh

waranle84

I can understand your situation but you are still young. Dont put too much pressure on yourself as most of the things you said are not your fault. It is hard to date a somali girl when you dont live around them.

Try travelling to cities with big somali population and see how they do it. And when you see a girl that you like just approach her and say hello. Talk in English if that makes you confortable.

As for her family well you are not getting married to them and will minimise any contact till you feel confortable.

Good luck but remember confident comes with age so stop stressing

[HELWAA]

CORRECTION LEILA........

When you get married you get married with whole family not just the man.

And about me being harsh.....I was just telling him the truth...Thís guy need a serious DHAQAN CELIS..........He will thanx me later.

[Leila2007]

Helwaa
[quote][/quote]When you are getting married you get married with whole family not just the man.

He lives in a town with few somalis so the chance of him getting in contact with the family is slim. Once in a while maybe esp if they live in different town.

My advice to him is marry from a different town the girl will move to your town and the family problem is solved. Plus we live in a western world where do you get time to see all her family

[The_Emperior5]

[quote="waranle84"]I dont know why I would like to expose myself like this, but I have to let out something that has been bothering me for a long while.

First of all, a little synopsis of myself...I'm 24, I'm a university grad., very good looking (and no, I'm not tooting my horn, I know I'm one of the very rare handsome Somali men out there, lol) and very witty and articulate. Basically, I'm a catch if there's ever one out there.

Inspite of all of these great aforementioned qualities, I've yet to date a Somali girl. No, I do not blame my Somali sisters, quite the contrary...the fault wholly lies with me. For some reason, the thought of having to 'explain myself' to her parents about our relationship and its circumstances, turns me off greatly from Somali chicks. This is due to the fact that Islam shuns casual dating.

BUT...then again, I've dated a very nice, pretty Pakistani girl, from a Muslim family, so can I really legitimately use Islam as an excuse for me not approaching Somali girls? No.

So far, besides the Pakistani girl, I've also dated an Ethiopian chick, and a Quebecois/Haitian girl. I've also had casual friendships with several other girls from all backgrounds, except...of course, Somali.

Now that I'm much older, I feel like settling down with a Somali girl, but would you know it, I have alot of insecurities...I really feel like I might have to answer to her parents more than I'd like to (with regards to things like marriage and so on, things that I'd want to pursue on my OWN TERMS and when I'M GOOD AND READY) and of course...gossip.

I did not have the fortune/misfortune of living in an area with a sizeable Somali community, so I really dont meet alot of Somalis on a daily basis, and the reason being that when I was quite young, my mother decided to move us to a place with almost no Somalis, mainly because she was tired of all the gossip the men and women engage in. This was not because my mother has anything to hide, no... she is a very classy, dignified and intelligent lady...my father is a very religous, educated and well respected man. So there are no potential 'scandals' or 'skeletons in our closets' to fear getting out in the open, its just that my parents are very private people.

I think that this impeded me, because I yearn for Somali contact these days, and I live in Canada, where we Somalis are quite numerous, but I also developed the 'waryness' of Somali gossipping the same way my mother has. Also, although my 'af soomaali' is about average, I've lost alot of the more advanced vocabulary. My Af Soomaali is just a little bit above rudimentary/basic, enough to carry out a conversation, but not to use in a 'romantic' setting, if you can catch the drift...I'd like to speak to a Somali girl in proper, classy Somali. I WISH!

My parents also put me on a difficult situation because all throughout my teens, they would discourage almost all sorts of interactions with the female sex, because of our Islamic upbringing...but being quite popular with girls, I always had at least a girl or two calling the house and having the embarrassing scenario of my mother cursing them out as 'sharmuuto' on the other line.

With age, came the independence, of course...but still, I am too proud to continue living in the state I currently am. Basically, its 'dont ask, dont tell' when it comes to my girlfriends and my parents. I dont want such a relationship for a Somali girl, never.

So this is my dilemma.

When I see the most beautiful Somali girls with all of these non Somalis, I sometimes wonder if it's because of situations like mine, falling on my fellow Somali brothers, and if it is, can we really put the blame on our girls looking for affection elsewhere?

I'd like your comments, please I need some advice...and I've already spoken to my parents about being interested in a Somali girl to pursue a relationship with. I do not believe in arranging marriages or anything like that, but I intend to get married in the next couple of years inshaAllah.

Thanks[/quote]


waad iis cajabiisay eeh i am this i am that

[HELWAA]

impo

Ma aragtay horta...waliyba marko faankan yar ee bakhtiga soo traarixeyey ba igu daraneyd...shaahi baaba iga daadan gaariy qosol owgeed...this made me laugh

First of all, a little synopsis of myself...I'm 24, I'm a university grad., very good looking (and no, I'm not tooting my horn, I know I'm one of the very rare handsome Somali men out there, lol) and very witty and articulate. Basically, I'm a catch if there's ever one out there.

[Leila2007]

HELWAA

Leave the poor guy alone

He can write though. I will give him a job if he wrote all this in his application form

Very articulate

[HELWAA]

Leila

Men should't brag...it make them sissy...Soomaalido waxay ko maahmaahda ..nin is faanshey waa ri is nuugtey.

A real man dont need to brag walaal.

[Alchemist]

[quote="HELWAA"]Leila

Men should't brag...it make them sissy...Soomaalido waxay ko maahmaahda ..nin is faanshey waa ri is nuugtey.

A real man dont need to brag walaal. [/quote]


"Soomaalido waxay ko maahmaahda ..nin is faanshey waa ri is nuugtey."

Somalis have a saying for everything..