WOMEN TOUGHER ON FRIENDS THAN MEN: STUDY!!!

[Daanyeer]

Source: http://www2.canada.com/nanaimodailynews ... id=1287965

Misty Harris, Canwest News Service
Published: Friday, February 13, 2009

Contrary to the nurturing images of sisterhood put forth by chick flicks, female friendships can be a ticking time bomb of fickleness and judgment, according to results of a study in the journal Psychological Science.

Traditional views hold that women are more socially co-operative than men, but researchers from the Universite du Quebec at Montreal, Harvard University and Emmanuel College in Boston found female same-sex friendships are significantly less tolerant, more volatile, and likelier to degrade based on a single negative incident than male same-sex friendships.

The study's authors conclude that the deep emotional investment often thought to make women's bonds stronger is often their undoing.


"It's lovely (for women) to think, ‘We care more about relationships, so we hold friends to higher standards,' " says lead author Joyce Benenson, who works in Harvard's department of biological anthropology.

"But the practical ramifications are that we can't do the slightest thing wrong . . . And if we can't care for somebody who screws up, that makes our position on friendship very precarious."

In three separate tests, men consistently proved the more tolerant same-sex friends.

Men were far likelier than women to be satisfied with their college roommate (100 per cent versus 46 per cent), even when involved in a conflict with that person (73 per cent versus 33 per cent). In double-occupancy dorms at universities of different sizes, men were, on average, only half as likely as women to request a room change (4.2 per cent versus 8.4 per cent).

And when participants were asked to judge a single negative behaviour by an otherwise dependable (hypothetical) best friend, women downgraded the friend's reliability significantly more so than men.

"The standards are very high for women," says Benenson, an associate professor of psychology. "They're on thin ice all the time."

The researchers say a lower threshold for friends' missteps has an evolutionary component, since reproductive success is tied to physical well-being.

"It provides a constant assessment of danger and can be very helpful to us," explains Benenson.

Most people have a surface belief that women are better at relationships, says study co-author Henry Markovits, a professor of psychology at the Universite du Quebec, but cognitive testing reveals they recognize that female friendships can be perilous.

Cheryl Hickey, host of ET Canada, tries to keep an open mind.

"Men can be a little bit more practical, while women, well, we can be a little bit more emotional," she says, laughing. "That's the beauty of having a good mix of friends."

Sociologist Michael Kimmel, author of Guyland, says his only concern is that the study may confuse tolerance and longevity with depth.

"Male friendships may seem to last longer, and are certainly more tolerant, but that's because men let a lot more slide," says Kimmel. He believes the result is relationships that can withstand more crises but are "a lot less intimate" than those between women, who he says excel at "the business of friendship."

Indeed, MuchMusic VJ Leah Miller describes the emotional bond between herself and singer Hilary Duff - whom she says she loves "more than anything" - as resembling that of sisters.

"When you know somebody so well and they know everything about you, of course there can be conflict," says Miller, host of So You Think You Can Dance Canada. "But now that I'm older, I don't really fight with my girlfriends. We're more like a support system for each other."




© Canwest News Service 2009

[black velvet]

Makes sense.

I would probably be harder on a female friend who screwed up more than I would a male friend.

[AyanTu]

"When you know somebody so well and they know everything about you, of course there can be conflict," says Miller, host of So You Think You Can Dance Canada. "But now that I'm older, I don't really fight with my girlfriends. We're more like a support system for each other."

I agree, the older u get thou, the more stable your friendships become....