Tragedy in Somalinet
Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 9:03 am
Well, the place looks stagnant and topics r being recycled, this might brighten a little.
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The wedding was going according to plan, the two bouncers, one stocky, short and a barbed wire tattoo on his biceps with a name tag reading "Shamboo" the other, a lanky Arab looking with a ready smile, name tag reading "Costa" were manning the gate and doing their job perfectly well. They seemed very close and happy to be together, sharing what looked like a filterless cigarette and laughing a lot.
Invited guests were already inside and nipping what looked like an endless sea of assortments..............a hush hush voice was circulating that the groom emptied his account to make this the reception of the century. Finally, the moment everyone was waiting. The Limo pulled up, bouncers darted to open doors for them. The groom hastily jumped out of the Limo and pulled the door for his bride, apparently not trusting the Arab looking bouncer to be near his bride. The bride elegantly stepped out of the car and gracefully walked like a peacock displaying a unique red saree and a physique that demands attention. The groom holding her hand, led her into the reception hall and on to the seats reserved for them. The best man was already seated and helping himself with a huge chunk of cake, while the bridesmaid was scanning the attendees and checking if she would be able to land a wo/man tonight, any wo/man.
The groom leaned closer to the best man and whispered "Cawar, wtf r u doing. Why didn't u wait for us?"
Cawar who spent a little time with the bouncers, may have inadvertently sniffed a whiff of whatever they were smoking retorted "Cool off dude, I wanted to check the chicks man"
It was the brides turn to the bridesmaid and whispered "Hey, Ureyso, what u think u r doing?"..."why is yr hand in there?"
"Wtf u think I am doing, of course I am scratching my balls..........err, my thighs"
The bride blurted out what sounded like a repressed "Alla hoognay" dubbing hot beads of sweat that rushed on her forehead. "I thought you were a woman?" Ureyso responded absent mindedly, still scanning the room "Man, woman who cares"
The DJs announcement interrupted "Ladies and gents, this is A-Wahab252 blazing yr hours tonight, we are honored to witness a love born in Laascaano/Hargeisa, nurtured in London and excuted in America, let's welcome to the dance floor the bride and groom Miss Buhodlegal and the lucky man of tonight Mr. Gatspy" A loud applause followed the two to the dance floor.
Everybody was now rushing to the dance floor save few individuals who opted to remain in their tables and plan for the night.
On a far corner of the hall, a teenage boy was trying to scape from a woman's grip who was trying to restrain him, he was pulling hard but she was too strong for him, she was muttering something that sounded like, "stop Hyper, this is a chance you will never get in your fukked up virgin life." Finally he called for help "Help, Babygal wahay donaysa in i kufsato" Voltage came to his rescue and immediately took his place, started with a long smooch and the last they were seen, he was struggling to unhook the straps of her bra.
Two heavily pregnant women were having a chitchat, sipping Somali coffe and stuffing themselves with loads of Xalwo, another heavily pregnant one joined them, "Hi Zuli...Hi Foxxy" It took her good five minutes to sit down before the others responded "Hi Mystic".....................and b4 they know it, Ureyso was there but they all rolled their eyes and in one voice said "We are pregnant" Ureyso left them swearing under her breath and cursing the men who impregnated them.
In an split second, the dancefloor came to a standstill and all eyes turned to the door, even DJ AW252 was staring with wide eyes and a gaping mouth, salivating a little. A tall, dark and stunningly beautiful girl was walking in very confident strides, smiling with perfect white teeth and enjoying the attention she was getting. She wore a black dress with a v cut at the front that showed the most perfect cleavage and complimenting the long neck. B4 she reached the dancefloor, low voices errupted and questions were flying "Who is she?"........AW252 couldn't contain himself "Please welcome the queen of S-net Ms Nabz Ahmed Quulle"
Applauseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....................................................................
A man in a cape and a baseball hat jumped from nowhere, stabbed Ms Quulle in the back and then in the booty, she collapsed. The man made an announcement waving the blood dripping knife "My name is Advo, I loved the b!tch all my life but she turned me down, if I can't have that booty, no man will"
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The wedding was going according to plan, the two bouncers, one stocky, short and a barbed wire tattoo on his biceps with a name tag reading "Shamboo" the other, a lanky Arab looking with a ready smile, name tag reading "Costa" were manning the gate and doing their job perfectly well. They seemed very close and happy to be together, sharing what looked like a filterless cigarette and laughing a lot.
Invited guests were already inside and nipping what looked like an endless sea of assortments..............a hush hush voice was circulating that the groom emptied his account to make this the reception of the century. Finally, the moment everyone was waiting. The Limo pulled up, bouncers darted to open doors for them. The groom hastily jumped out of the Limo and pulled the door for his bride, apparently not trusting the Arab looking bouncer to be near his bride. The bride elegantly stepped out of the car and gracefully walked like a peacock displaying a unique red saree and a physique that demands attention. The groom holding her hand, led her into the reception hall and on to the seats reserved for them. The best man was already seated and helping himself with a huge chunk of cake, while the bridesmaid was scanning the attendees and checking if she would be able to land a wo/man tonight, any wo/man.
The groom leaned closer to the best man and whispered "Cawar, wtf r u doing. Why didn't u wait for us?"
Cawar who spent a little time with the bouncers, may have inadvertently sniffed a whiff of whatever they were smoking retorted "Cool off dude, I wanted to check the chicks man"
It was the brides turn to the bridesmaid and whispered "Hey, Ureyso, what u think u r doing?"..."why is yr hand in there?"
"Wtf u think I am doing, of course I am scratching my balls..........err, my thighs"
The bride blurted out what sounded like a repressed "Alla hoognay" dubbing hot beads of sweat that rushed on her forehead. "I thought you were a woman?" Ureyso responded absent mindedly, still scanning the room "Man, woman who cares"
The DJs announcement interrupted "Ladies and gents, this is A-Wahab252 blazing yr hours tonight, we are honored to witness a love born in Laascaano/Hargeisa, nurtured in London and excuted in America, let's welcome to the dance floor the bride and groom Miss Buhodlegal and the lucky man of tonight Mr. Gatspy" A loud applause followed the two to the dance floor.
Everybody was now rushing to the dance floor save few individuals who opted to remain in their tables and plan for the night.
On a far corner of the hall, a teenage boy was trying to scape from a woman's grip who was trying to restrain him, he was pulling hard but she was too strong for him, she was muttering something that sounded like, "stop Hyper, this is a chance you will never get in your fukked up virgin life." Finally he called for help "Help, Babygal wahay donaysa in i kufsato" Voltage came to his rescue and immediately took his place, started with a long smooch and the last they were seen, he was struggling to unhook the straps of her bra.
Two heavily pregnant women were having a chitchat, sipping Somali coffe and stuffing themselves with loads of Xalwo, another heavily pregnant one joined them, "Hi Zuli...Hi Foxxy" It took her good five minutes to sit down before the others responded "Hi Mystic".....................and b4 they know it, Ureyso was there but they all rolled their eyes and in one voice said "We are pregnant" Ureyso left them swearing under her breath and cursing the men who impregnated them.
In an split second, the dancefloor came to a standstill and all eyes turned to the door, even DJ AW252 was staring with wide eyes and a gaping mouth, salivating a little. A tall, dark and stunningly beautiful girl was walking in very confident strides, smiling with perfect white teeth and enjoying the attention she was getting. She wore a black dress with a v cut at the front that showed the most perfect cleavage and complimenting the long neck. B4 she reached the dancefloor, low voices errupted and questions were flying "Who is she?"........AW252 couldn't contain himself "Please welcome the queen of S-net Ms Nabz Ahmed Quulle"
Applauseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....................................................................
A man in a cape and a baseball hat jumped from nowhere, stabbed Ms Quulle in the back and then in the booty, she collapsed. The man made an announcement waving the blood dripping knife "My name is Advo, I loved the b!tch all my life but she turned me down, if I can't have that booty, no man will"
I was expecting honeymoon gift. 