HADITH

[HELWAA]

Salaam

Imam Al-Sadiq (a.s.) relates that a woman who came to the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) was asked by him whether she was a 'put-off woman?' She asked the meaning of that, and the Prophet replied: "She is the woman who, when her husband calls her for some need, keeps putting it off until he falls asleep. Such a woman will, then, continuously be cursed by the angels until her husband wakes up."

So women are not supposed say "NO"even if they are sick or tired?

[Queen_Arawello]

Salaam

Imam Al-Sadiq (a.s.) relates that a woman who came to the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) was asked by him whether she was a 'put-off woman?' She asked the meaning of that, and the Prophet replied: "She is the woman who, when her husband calls her for some need, keeps putting it off until he falls asleep. Such a woman will, then, continuously be cursed by the angels until her husband wakes up."

So women are not supposed say "NO"even if they are sick or tired?

Some of the scholars have different interpretation of that hadith...

[black velvet]

Well I guess she's just not being honest

[Navy9]

Have you seen what the afghans had legalized? A man can rape his wife, rape his wife!!!

[Hyperactive]

forcing your wife to sleep with you is goes against islamic teachings. it contracts the teaching of prophet asw. kindness and gentelness is most important of islamic manners.

of course wont be rape because that's his righ that granted to him. there's 3qd between them, includes sleeping with each other, if they dont satisfied each other why in the marriage in first place?

[Somalistan]

You can't say NO to your man for no APPERENT reason! If you're sick or tremendously tired i can understand. Gatspy, that is the way the western media interpret it, but basically the law that was passed pretty much is alligned wid the actual Islamic teachings. Women cannot refuse sex with their husbands unless offcourse they're sick as said.

[Somali Renaissance]

Helwaa,

Sister, if this is an important question or issue that you really want to know the answer to then pls ask a learnt person such as a sheikh/imam. I found this on a trustworthy site and I hope this answers your question:

"Husband calls his wife to bed, but she is ill and unable to respond to his call
*Please appropriately reference this fatwa to: http://www.fatwa-online.com, thankyou!*
Question: Does the woman fall into sin if she refuses her husband when he calls her (to his bed) if she is suffering from a fleeting mental lapse, or she is ill and suffering from pain?

Response: It is obligatory upon the woman to respond to her husband if he calls her to his bed. However, if she is ill due to a mental lapse and is unable to face her husband, then in this situation it is not permissible for her husband to request her (to satisfy his (sexual) needs) as the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:

((There is to be no harm and no causing of harm)).

And it is upon him to restrain himself and seek to satisfy (himself) with his wife in a manner which will not cause any harm (to her).

Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen
Fataawa az-Zawaaj wa 'Ishratun-Nisaa. - Question 72, Page 103"

Also, for those of you that responded to the question, pls be sure to bring any evidences to support your answers from the ppl of knowledge. This is better for you in protecting yourself from saying an incorrect answer due to your emotions or lack of knowledge in this particular issue.

[Navy9]

What if the situation is reversed: if the wife calls for her man and he dismiss her, how grave is his actions? Would the angels curse him until the sun rises?

[FAH1223]

What if the situation is reversed: if the wife calls for her man and he dismiss her, how grave is his actions? Would the angels curse him until the sun rises?

its the same thing, the women has a right over the man

Also, when the Prophet heard that `Abdullah ibn `Amr ibn Al-`As used to fast during the day and offer prayers all the night, he said to him: “`Abdullah, Don't do that; fast for a few days and then give it up for a few days, offer Prayers and also sleep at night, as your body has a right on you, and your wife has a right on you, and your guest has a right on you…” (Reported by al-Bukhari)

[Warsan_Star_Muslimah]

What if the situation is reversed: if the wife calls for her man and he dismiss her, how grave is his actions? Would the angels curse him until the sun rises?

Asalaamu alikum to all.

The thing is she is dismissing him for no reason. Some ladies do use sex to blackmail their husbands.
The man is supposed to fufill his husband duties every four nights (i read this somehwhere). Insha-allah I will link the evidence another time.

Babysitting duties calling.

[Navy9]

Fah, if you are in the mood of quoting hadiths, man do some research and find a hadith strictly talking about the question.

Warsan,

I think it's 3 nights.

Btw, completely off topic question: do you know why a woman's marriage is considered "final" if the hushand divorces his wife (at 3 different times)? Why not 4 times or 2 times? Please let me know if you find an answer for that!

[Warsan_Star_Muslimah]

Navy abaayo read this: It is interesting. BTW here they say every four nights, it might differ with different school of fiqhs.


1) If a wife has to always fulfill her husband's sexual desires even when she doesn't want to, does this mean that he has to fulfill her desires when he doesn't want to, as well? Can a wife "demand" sex as husbands can?

Answer:

The husband is obligated to keep his wife chaste. While scholars have distinguished between a man's right to "demand" sex and a woman's right to "request" sex, it is nonetheless a man's religous duty to keep his wife sexually satisfied. A woman may not have an explicit legal right to demand sex in the same fashion as a man; however, this distinction merely accounts for the inherent temperamental, physical, and emotional differences between the sexes. Ustadha Hedaya Hartford, in her excellent guide to Islamic marriage, states that both Hanafi and Shafi'i scholars hold that a man should make love to his wife at least every four nights. [Hedaya Hartford, Islamic Marriage: Starting Off On the Right Foot. Beirut and Damascus: Dar al-Fikr, 2000]

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?ID=5932

Btw, completely off topic question: do you know why a woman's marriage is considered "final" if the hushand divorces his wife (at 3 different times)? Why not 4 times or 2 times? Please let me know if you find an answer for that!

Sis, if he divorces her 4 times, then the marriage is 'final' as well. The limit is 3, if one says you are divorced eight times then it will be considered 'final' because they have gone over the limit of three.

1 Yahya related to me from Malik that he had heard that a man said to 'Abdullah ibn 'Abbas, "I have divorced my wife by saying 'I divorce you a hundred times.' What do you think my situation is?" Ibn 'Abbas said to him, "She was divorced from you by three pronouncements, and by the ninety-seven you have mocked the ayats of Allah."

Al-Muwatta' of Imam Malik- by Imam Malik ibn Anas
http://www.sunnipath.com/library/Hadith/H0001P0029.aspx

Well there has to be a limit, so people understand divorce is not a joke. As you know if a man says the talaq once, then you can get back together, but on the third strike thats it. The only way you can get back together is if you marry someone else then get divorced. Most people wont go to that extent, hopefully.
If you can't agree by third time, then it is best that both parties go their separate ways.

If your question is, 'why 3 times as opposed to 5 times?' I don't know really, but all I know is that there is a limit either way. If you want I can call Islam channel for you and ask the Sheikh this question?

Hope that helped.

[Navy9]

First, thanks so much for your research walaalo, jazak Allah kheyran for it.

Secondly, yeah please do call , sometimes, you might come across a story behind why such thing was done, a story that not everyone knows and I was wondering if there is something behind it.

Thirdly, I had read for many scholars who said that if the man was angry when he said the talaq and if he said it many times (ie more than 3) they consider the talaqat(plural of talqa) as a talaqa and Allah knows best.

I see you quoting the Sufi woman, she is cool.

Salam Alaykum.

[Warsan_Star_Muslimah]

No problem sis, I learn this way so thank you

She translated the Al-Muwatta' of Imam Malik by Imam Malik ibn Anas. I really don't know her though.

I'll call tonight, insha-allah. I also wanted to call about the man not being married/or halal for his wife, if he doesn't pray. I was wondering what if he prays sometimes? Like Fridays he goes to Jumah salat, or he prays some days and not others, you know. How about the female too if she doesn't pray?

Oh okay, I don't even know that! I thought the it would be considered 'final' as well, but my sister just confirmed what you said, that it is considered one.

[Xamud.]

Why would you have intercourse with your wife against her will? this would ruin the marriage?

And it is upon him to restrain himself and seek to satisfy (himself) with his wife in a manner which will not cause any harm (to her)

satisfy himself? with his wife in a manner which will not cause any harm(to her) sorry am not suppose to laugh but I thought that masturbation was haraam?


am learning alot! jazakallah khery